Friday, May 7, 2010
Friday Haiku
Theater club tryouts,
Audition for Glee Club fail.
Janets boobs sing on.
oh Catholic douche
areolae are ignored
so penance is due
— Colossus of Choads
Marcus tries to stand
But gravity field near boobs
Slowly pulls him in
— Mr. White
Swiss Alps inviting,
Dieter stays behind his Wall,
longs for a bratwurst
— Wheezer
Glandular chest puffs
Milky orbs of boob delight
30 PSI
— Vin Douchal
Ben struggles to walk
with his elephantitis
As Jen laughs at size
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Douchie drinks Grey Goose
Janets jublees in danger
vomit eminent
— Scrotediddilyumptious
Fleshy milkmakers.
Jan’s boobs give rise to nethers.
Gravy boat betwixt.
— Amerigo Vesdouchey
Not so much a douche
More like a neanderthal.
And motorboating!
oh Catholic douche
areolae are ignored
so penance is due
If you’re that angry
When near to giant jubblies
Then you just hate life
Jake readies to spew
As the friendly tranny shares
her package details
Ben Stiller, you ain’t –
you are simply Poolander.
Dere-lick your balls.
Janet leans over Mark,
whispers, “You think your back hurts?
My spine is severed!”
Tad convulses on
Jen’s gayly stated remark
That she has herpes
Jugs barely contained
Douche isn’t looking because
He is a gaybag
Benwah Beads Stiller
not fond of giant flesh mounds;
ridiculous fail
Marcus tries to stand
But gravity field near boobs
Slowly pulls him in
Scott pukes in his mouth
As Jen tells him she wants to
Do it with Porch Beef
Baby blue boobies
tatines of aquamarine
Diane’s cyan glands
Nice comb-over, bra
No really, no one can tell
Bald since seventh grade
Bill shrinks to fetal
position from hard groin kick
Jen gayly says, “FO”
Glandular chest puffs
Milky orbs of boob delight
30 PSI
Janet’s make up man
Deep in thought about hard cocck
Ignores Double D’s
Chrissy has secret;
she bagged the greasiest choad
for Kappas’ “Douche Dance.”
Yabba dabba douche
Stares off angrily because of
site hypocrisy.
Oh, Holy nip slip,
Thou art glorious and keen.
Blessed is your fruit.
.
Bestow your goodness
Upon this fair young virgin.
Bountiful are thee.
Michael Stipe, new look
To distract from whiney voice
Still has whiney voice
I nominate her
“Best Top-Boob of Twenty Ten”
in this year’s douchies.
Ben struggles to walk
with his elephantitis
As Jen laughs at size
Club music so loud
Chester leans in to say , “Huh?”
Janet barfs down ear
Douchie drinks Grey Goose
Janets jublees in danger
vomit eminent
Will Arnette vomits
into God’s gift to man. Why?
Just watched “Parks and Rec.”
superimposed douche
even homosexuals
would stare at that rack
Blonde Norsk pupper hott
ready for Iron Man 2,
should be Stark naked.
Janet has one rule:
No sex until we’re married.
I’d f*ck her armpit.
AVN Awards
“Best Twink” meets “Best Titty Fuck”
Discuss money shots
Skeleton key bling
won’t open her locks – oh well,
he prefers closets.
Brad doubles over
from Porch Beef gone bad. Misses
Jen’s friendly offer.
How much would you bet
that Janet’s got some awesome
triangle showing?
Swiss Alps inviting,
Dieter stays behind his Wall,
longs for a bratwurst
“And that’s when,” Janet
whispers lustily, “I taught
calculus to kids.”
Immigration law
not working in Scottsdale;
should profile the scrotes.
Trash can, please? Ugh…..
.
.
.
.
Immigration law
not working out in Scottsdale;
should profile the scrotes.
Heather tells Brad that
She’s a Tranny with Package
What did he just do??
Pass Bruce some Ex-Lax
His hole it is a hurtin
Blonde needs a squirten
Bruce furrows his brow
just trying to understand.
“Boobies…girls…uhhh…good?”
Fleshy milkmakers.
Jan’s boobs give rise to nethers.
Gravy boat betwixt.
.
Greg’s uninspiring.
Run of the mill smug douche face.
Needs treatment with bat.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
“Cleavage Chicken” game –
they vie for male attention.
She wins…..ohhhhh, she wins…..
Boobs, cans, juggs, tittays
Bulbous, round, tender and soft
In others words… Yes!
Db1 waiting
Where are the epic Haikus
Some regs sandbagging
With IT torcher
Our Pfah turns to the darkside
Attempts comb over.
Yo! Crucial arrives
Time to step up Haiku gane
Uh, no pressure, bro
Her pensive boobies
Pondering their sordid past
Gaze down at the floor.
Not so great pic, aye.
Will be better next week, aye.
I blame my eye, aye.
– management
Her Milk Gondolas
Make my pants region humid;
Wet Bulb Enthalpy.
Since new site opened
I have not made one Haiku
On time – fuccen work.
New site’s formatting
now letting DB1 down?
Glad I made front page.
Hope podcast went well
Hey Boss, we’d like a report.
I’m sure we’ll get one.
Hey that reminds me:
IHOP has a flap-jack sale;
Devil Twin Pancakes
Boss fixed formatting
just as I post my own glitch.
I’ll just stare at boobs.
Podcast went quite well.
Carolla riffs on Grieco.
Will air in two weeks.
Yesterdays stock crash
Bowed many a head with dread
Her boobs pay homage.
The two architects:
A day late and dollar short.
Epic Deadline Fail.
Blonde’s hairline recedes
Like my portfolio did
But mine can grow back.
These days my budgets
Have been more like three days late
And thousands short… uugghhh.
Woke up this morning,
Saw Helene and Janet’s boobs.
Boner all day long.
At the douchebag Mass
Sinner whispers confession:
“I peed in a horse.”
Will podcast be aired
on Adam Carolla’s site?
Can’t wait to hear it!
.
.
I’m glad it went well!
Celebrate with PBR,
Ho-Ho’s, and Ass Pear.
Comb over Billy
Thought chicks wouldn’t notice
Boobies and milk please
Please link to podcast
Once it airs – did Carolla’s
Twins attack ankles?
Morning wood appears
Must check the lock on the door
Blonde boobies? You’ll work…
White squishy pillows
douche wants to his head tween
too late mine is there
I am in need
I need my pear fix
DB1 please help
re-write sorry
White squishy pillows
douche wants to place his head tween
too late mine is there
She looks dumb as toast
Fortunately, this breakfast
Includes two large milk
Marta mumbles in
Bart’s ear what she’d do to him
sans his mouth chipmunk.
There is a balm in
Gilead, and in top of
Marta’s low-cut dress.
Adonai, there is
a God in Heaven: Boobied,
blonde goddess, Marta.
Platinum tresses
and deep cleavite of Hotl in
blue: Bart has no clue.
We stand in udder
disbelief at sight of douche-
puker near Hott Boobs
Why does man need to
mammarize his cheeks in pre-
sence of big she-boobs?
Behold the man who
tasted so much boob-cheek, his
tongue hid in his cheek.
Marta howls at sca–
ry scowler Bart, whose tongue choked
on areola.
He thought she offered
arugula salad; got
areola slaw.
Her nips overpow-
ered his tongue and forced his balls
to upchuck in mouth.
Bart frowns when he re-
alizes his cleavite is
no match for Marta’s.
If jealous Bart holds
urp much longer, his face will
out-blue Marta’s dress.
Douche with bad combover
about to hurl in mamvalley
Cheesy rosary beads
boobies turn him off.
hence dead fish eyes. give boobies
to me. much better.
sick to my stomach
feeding on double udders
too much milk mommy