Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday Haiku
I’ve seen this movie,
Harry Lime in “The Third Douche.”
While Beth wears Shrek wipe.
Green scrotumtroll poo
Leaves trail of spray tan on hot
Morn soiled rib fruit
— The Baggernaut
What Troll bag doesn’t
Know, is that you must be this
Tall to ride Ms Beth.
— Dicy
Green Giant butt Q-Tip
tells hott if bear ask does poo
stick to skin, say no!
— creature
For just one dollar
You too can crap on a hott
But there’s a troll bridge
— Ex Douche Machina
David Littleman’s gap
not all that galls and chafes her;
Stupid people trick.
— Wheezer
I would sniff the hell
out of that tank top just to
be close to her chest.
— Bagnonymous
Nancy wears results
Of feeding her horse Taco
Bell’s new Tortada.
— Amerigo Vesdouchey
Paid-to-pose hottie
does not like green hair and choad;
Thing Poo goes solo.
Anne Hathaway hott
exercises poor judgment
cotton candy poo
David Littleman’s gap
not all that galls and chafes her;
Stupid people trick.
Which is more grotesque–
The skidmark on the tank top,
or the troll doll douche?
Mimi’s favorite troll
escapes, magically transfers
chest hair to bleeth’s shirt
Smiling sh%#-stain girl,
Why do you smile, baby?
Totally insane
Cleveland steamer tank
plus Jimmy Connors head band?
I don’t care–still HOTT!
I would sniff the hell
out of that tank top just to
be close to her chest.
Proof-positive that
Having a really good bod
Don’t mean there’s a brain
Green scrotumtroll poo
Leaves trail of spray tan on hot
Morn soiled rib fruit
What Troll bag doesn’t
Know, is that you must be this
Tall to ride Ms Beth.
Skidmark meets Ariel
but in reverse–jewel in belly
button nice touch–douche
Despite the shit stain,
I can’t stop looking at her.
Man, am I f*ucked up.
Green sprouts, orange body?
Yup, he’s a goddamn carrot.
She needs bunny ears…
Munchkin cheats up past
Dorothy’s height with help of
Wiz’ Garnet Gut pump.
Only one dollar
to rub taint across boobs?
Samurai Scrote approves.
Oh, now I get it
His costume is the tampon
And she is the pad
Halloween: excuse
to wear slut gear in public
not Billybob’s shorts
For just one dollar
You too can crap on a hott
But there’s a troll bridge
too much bejeweled
and facebook farmville will turn
you into these two
Oompa Loompa douche
wishes he was proper height:
face right at her crotch.
Toxic Ted parties.
Ted lives near nuclear plant.
Dad does not approve.
.
Nancy wears results
Of feeding her horse Taco
Bell’s new Tortada.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Fervent disciples
Of Herpes, Greek God of Choads
Morally bankrupt
Bagpoleon’s bro
finds his own Josephine;
height difference matched, too.
Resting on her breast
Cheap perfume, last night’s meatloaf
on arm, green poo stain
Emerald Shitty:
where hair is green, girls pretty.
He’s Mr. Brownstain
It’s post-work cocktail
Rhino inseminators
Can you catch the drift
Troll Doll douche wears
family jewel on abs. Much
bigger than real one.
A pen up his ass
Would make him look just like this
Dumb pencil topper.
Green Giant butt Q-Tip
tells hott if bear ask does poo
stick to skin, say no!
Hott gives one dollar
to Make-A-Choad Foundation.
She expects change back.
I’d mock the chest tatt
but I can’t decipher design,
nor that on his back
Combination of
cowboy killers and choads means
hott lost will to live.
Chili eating champ
Greets her personal ass wipe
Room smells mmm-mmm good
Plinky’s mom’s tampon
poses with a hott that was
used as her butt wipe
It looks like this dog
Turned this poor hotty into…
“Stanley Steamer Girl”
Samurai Scrote makes
plans with Buffalo Beast to
murder Oompa Choad.
Looks like she took a
titty-f*ck from a guy who
doesn’t wipe his ass.
Sasquatch toilet bowl
displays his morning movement
t p & discharge
“Green Giant butt Q-tip”…!
.
Fantastic.
Flea’s tries out newest
costume for Chili Pepper’s
new album:Troll Fudge.
hott has scored new job
low cost restroom attendant
men wipe ass on chest
Hott had no idea
that the phrase “Shit for brains” could
turn out to be true.
hott sees the brightside
though her ass wipe job is vile
it pays good in tips
Vampire Troll sparkles
At twilight Bella rides pole
dogs leave stains on shirt
Hott boosts self-esteem
by posing with massive choad.
Poo not so bad now.
After Butt Peeing
Darksock wipes his dragon dong
on her breasticles
A buck says that his
oil soiled her top and that green
algae ain’t big ’nuff
Her cleavage leakage
suggests topaz instead of
normal silicone.
BP Engineers
deploy oil eating green algae
This slick is too big
I am confused
Is she a stained camel toe
or just showing one
Hallowe’en costumes
got switched; he is the poo streak,
she should be topless.
Spectators beware
Boiled egg eating contest
Best seat not up front
Took the money shot
Three way with horse and mongrol
For money and smokes
Cloud of Axe settles
on douche’s head waiting for
spark to help mankind.
One night costume ball
But those tats are permanent
Unemployment line!
Marlboro Ultra’s
and a buck got him a pic;
his paycheck is spent.
I’m not even trying.
This pic is ridiculous.
Nowhere to begin.
Her costume is made
from the pee/poo soiled ruins of
Artie Lange’s tighties…
Just when you think that
His costume couldn’t be worse
Check out the navel
Fecalphiliacs:
When they find love, we suffer
the consequences.
Troll Doll bodyguard
protects the Marlboros of
Princess Cameltoe.
Looking at photo
One can’t help but wonder:
“Which one’s the *real* asswipe?
“What’s your costume, Kim?”
“I’m a a toilet paper sheet!”
Fake tan stain remains.
Treasure troll douche with
Gravity-defying hair
Leaves a long skid-mark
There really is such
a thing as a DOUCHENOZZLE
spouting green head hair.
Irish douche can be
found playing head games with Smurf-
like wit and wisdom.
This wanker was raised
on Green River soda pop
and dyed tumbleweed.
He has the Power
of Pinesol, baby: She, the
cameltoe to mop.
Ostomates with stain-
less steel holes leave skidmarks on
hotts they whoopee.
If one inserts straw
into navel, the lime slurp-
ee recedes quickly.
Beehive hair, chrome sto-
ma are ritual symbols
of Green Movement.
Soylent Green finds a
new incarnation as bee’s nest;
Jerzees as teepee..
oops, one too many syllables on line two.
Blowing big green head
takes a chrome stoma and lots
of White Hott puffing.
Bees in green hive are
confused: that’s not their stolen
honey on hott torso.
Greenpeace cruises clubs
for new members; polluted
Hotts want to come clean.
Which is stranger, the
Mark of the Douche upon the
hair, or the green hair?
He drinks green tea, she,
dark tea, and the evidence
is so clear to see.
Beth makes her stain look
like chocolate while clasping
her money tightly.
all right! a haiku that’s (barely) on time for Friday!