Monday, May 24, 2010
Where's Waldouche: Tonguebag Edition
Somewhere in this party pic of lovely entry level job office manager in human resources type mid 20s hotties, I’ve carefully hidden an underage Tonguey McPudwack.
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Lemon Boobs
When your brain is fueled by lemons, you can achieve anything in a minute.
There’s some sort of a blur surrounding the cuties, so I’m having a tough time finding any Waldouches.
As the HR conference afterparty wound to it’s predictable and none-too-satisfying close Buffalo Beast undid his pants and released his urine cannon with an audible pa-whack! Young Tonguey McPudwack, fresh from his internship at BP, responded with Pavlovian perfection, and a few moments later Buffalo Beast shuffled silently off into the night, the faintest hint of a smile playing around the corners of his razor thin lips, the faintest whisps of Axe trailing from his tonsil batton.
Timmy, the slow kid with the lazy eye who works in the mail room, had been told by the guys in finance that chicks think its cute when you stick your tongue and try to roll the sides together. However, that dastardly Mr. Scrotato Head stepped in at the last second and put superglue on his lips before he could get the tongue roll down.
Buffalo Beast stood behind, in wordless yet excruciating concentration as he passed his gall stone onto the rear door’s threshold.
Farck! Scrotatohead beat me by a mere 59 seconds.
Willard’s tongue patiently waited for the sticky purchase of ‘Eeyore The Party Donkey’s’ jizz to pass through all six sets of ears.
Desperate to get close enough to catch a whiff of their perfume, Willard could only whimper and lick the plexiglass divider helplessly.
I should add, that the threshold is less than 1/2″ high… meeting current ADA mandated code.
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How do I know this?
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Clearly the house was updated to meet all ADA codes in order to furnish shelter to the poor handicapped kid on the right.
If you mushed all three of these girls together, kept two-and-a-half eyes, cut a Micheal Strayhan gap between each tooth, top and bottom, put the majority of the body fat into the inner thighs, and draped a “dress” over it circle 1918 Barnum and Bailey, you’d have the VP of Personnel for Gloppfrother, Pheetus, and Hepcee that everyone was hitting on at the last national HR conference.
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Did I win? No. No I did not.
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Am I ashamed that I tried?
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Yes. Yes I am.
The unfortunate sixth grade flagpole licking incident left Ambrose with a permanent defect.
^me
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“circa”
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It’s called proof reading dumbass.
Willard’s passion for eating Oreo cookies creme first knew no bounds .
Someone needed to run up and hit his jaw so he could bite his douche infected tongue off. Chodeheaded Waldouche.
I haven’t found Tonguey McPudwack waldouche yet–I’m still transfixed by yellow-blouse Fem-Bot hott’s glowing red gaze. It’s only a matter of seconds before miniature machine gun barrels extend out of her nipples and blast me down in a blaze of glory.
“girls are icky… I’ll just keep humping my stuffed Panda, Jorgi”
I just see several girls being harrassed by Gummo.
Gummo, but not THE Gummo…
http://www.peoplequiz.com/biographies-34076.html
And I think Toungey is getting a bad rap, that’s actually a very full, flesh colored soul patch.
Some chicks take the redeye home after a weekend of cross-country entertainment; and then there is McPudwack, who just gets the redtongue after a cross-continental flight spent in the lav servicing the chicks.
Tonguey’s torticollis is the most recent condition doctors have been seeing after extreme cunnilingus marathons.
When McPudwack was a little kid, his kindergarten teacher said, “Tonguey, we do NOT use our playground voices indoors,” to which he stuck out his tongue and replied, “My tongue is my playground,” at which point God struck him with lightning lickety-split and fashioned his tongue into an electric eel popping in and out of its Waldhole ever since.
What’s amazing to me is the tongue isn’t even in an “I want to lick you” shape, it’s in a “neener neener neeeeeener” shape. What’s with that? Also, boobily boobie boobs.
This guy isn’t really that douchey, except for the haircut (which makes him stand out as the pud he is) he could be any drunk guy.