Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Ask DB1: More Douchebaguettes
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DB1,
Post more female douchebagettes!!! They crack my ass up.
– Merv Griffinbag
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As you wish, M.G.
Normally I prefer to keep the HCwDB formula gender specific, but here’s a pretty good case of a Stage-4 Bleeth. Orange, kissy lips and whatever genetic benefits of boobage, lost to the ways of the scrotefung.
Andrew Ridgeley, however, never should’ve left Wham.
I bet the orange from the bleeth will stain his tighty whities.
Wow this bitch is fugly bleethy.
Her dildo looks like a cheese puff.
Merv,
.
If by “crack my ass up” you mean “make me wanna stab myself in the nuts just to ensure that I cannot have a daughter, on the off chance that her friends might convince her that tanning salons are cool and end up looking like this,” then yes–they crack my ass up, too.
Here’s a photo of her tanning bed.
I see that the bleeth’s hand transplant with The Swamp Witch went well.
Wait a damn minute.. her brother Chester‘s a douche, too–complete with shades and the sideways peace sign. How did I never notice this?
DB1,
Post more female douchebagettes!!! They clean up my dog’s poops in the back yard.
DB1,
Post more female douchebagettes!!! They help me cut back on fwapping and that’s good for my cocck.
Gross. She looks like a herpes-infected Cheeto.
DB1,
Post more female douchebagettes!!!They make me go back to church and pray for the sanity of mankind.
verily, a whole wheat toasted baguette
DB1,
Ignore my last post. Lets face it douchebag, douchebagett, they all make me go to church weekly and pray for the sanity of mankind.
I’m not so sure the hand in the picture belongs to the douche. It looks like Buffalo Beast is signaling that both of them will be on tonight’s menu.
That’s right sweetheart, kiss you good looks and anything else that made you normal once, goodbye.
She’s the kinda girl who would push you back on the bed and mount you viscously, hammering up and down until your pelvis was nothing more than squishy goose liver patte, then stand up and squirt your still erect cockk out onto your chest with an audible “plonk”.
.
Fortunately, she doesn’t need to be wearing an orange safety vest for you to see her coming.
Getting head from her would be like cutting a hole in a pumpkin and putting a wig on it.
When she makes that kissy face her Zorro mustache really stands out.
.
And not in a “Have at thee tyrant!” sorta way.
If you want to ask her out you’ve got to get dad’s approval.
I’m not sure if this site is to thank (blame), but I find myself dressing more and more like a Mennonite in a desperate attempt to clearly distance myself from these orange, pustulent cum-dumpsters that are the beauty standard of modern woman. Oh, how I long for the good old days I never got to see.
@Medusa^
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Why is it I envision you in one of those dresses with crotchless panties and thigh high stockings straddling a wind powered cybian?
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Oh, and using your doily hat to wipe my bisquit gravy from your chin.
.
You’re raising more than a barn I can tell you that.
Once again Medusa, I love you! Will you marry me?
Cheeto-Woman causes me shrinkage.
^ I gave up trying to quit smoking, and now my posts are much more effective and to-the-point.
@ Dr. HoneyDouche: It could also be Buffalo Beast taking aim with his invisible slingshot. Though I would aim slightly right and take out the freakier of the two…aw shucks, who am I to question Buffalo Beast?
@ medusa
i dated a mennonite chick, which was hard, because in her case the old joke about “what’s every amish girl’s fantasy?, to mennonite” was very funny, to everyone but her, and for good reason…
not that i minded, i was just divorced and in my mid 20s, i didn’t even care that even the neighbor’s jr high daughter thought she was slutty.
but anyway, the mennonites, ie fallen or worldly amish, can range from pretty close to what your picture shows, all the way to what i have to confess in retrospect, was stage 2 bleeth on her most wholesome day. her family was 2 generations removed from the amish thing, and if she was a point on the trendline, i’d hate to see her kids, and hope to christ none of them are mine.
douchebaguettes are baked in ovens with only 1 temperature setting: SCORCH INTO SMITHEREENS.
HAR de har har, the day Medusa dresses like a Mennonite is the day Obama cross-dresses like RuPaul.
Those aren’t fingertips, they’re tentacles on a sea-food critter’s arm. She must be a mermaid gone rogue..
It’s such a shame DB1 has to confuse the sensation of a crispy baked baguette of French bread with the term “douchebaguette.”
I wouldn’t dunk a buttered baguette into my morning bathwater or my cafe au lait.