Friday Haiku
Crazed Party at Dave’s!
Blue Bandana Bros pound Schlitz,
Mack on Ralphie’s sisters.
Animal print girls:
Welcome to the monkey house.
Natty Ice in fridge.
— massengill
Front girl is guarding
her purse from the spiky pud
thieving her tampons.
— Bag Margera
Angelo wonders:
If he squeezes hard enough
Make one good person?
— saulgoode42
Like unwanted blast
Vuvuzela to ear drum
Our day is ruined
— Vin Douchal
Drunk choadwank in back
Assumes crucifixion pose
Who will oblige him?
— The Motley Douche
Axe booze and smokes
Eight guidos in stinky heat
Italy in shame
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
High school grad party
Die hards. Too bad lawn darts are
now made from plastic.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
The bros are paired off,
hair not the only “blowouts”
they’re gellin’ tonight.
— WheezerHCwDB
Thanks to DB1,
I count syllables in all
my Friday emails.
— Bagnonymous
Animal print girls:
Welcome to the monkey house.
Natty Ice in fridge.
Pussy with water:
Sack up and drink beer, asshole.
Deep fry a turkey.
Water douche is odd:
Fish lips, or holding breath?
Another convert?
Green glo-sticks abound.
Are they radioactive?
One can only hope.
Damn it, replace “Fish” with “Kissy”…..like I had it the first fuccen time. Grrrrr…..
The cigarette girl
should watch where she puts that thing;
that’s no fire crotch, eh?
Brunette quadruplets?
They’re hott, but they look the same.
Seen one, seen ’em all…
When drunk bags attack,
girls huddle together and,
smile the other way.
Matching Mandanas,
Far too much animal print;
this party blows hard.
Quartasian cutie
maintains most distance from scrotes;
she may still get burned.
Jesus Christ-pose douche
says, “Let there be Natty Light,
…and animal prints.”
Leopard print smells the
axe, puke, sweat, hair grease and poo
off of these douches.
These Jersey guids, bleeths
Unaware of just how much
Pure fail that they ooze
A choad/hott lineup
Like Stackhouse’s best grammar
We can smell the fail
Headband guys are on
the same team, but switch between
pitcher and catcher.
Looking douche to hott
Hotts are much higher rated
Still infected though
Tablecloth “dress” shirt
getting hard for blowout bro;
the ladies are beards.
Front girl is guarding
her purse from the spiky pud
thieving her tampons.
King of he he sees
This trainwreck of low-rent sleeze
Water dude’s cool, though
Very tall douchewad?
Or just a low roof structure?
Either way.. it’s odd.
Unfortunately
There’s a chance some here will breed
I weep for the future
Angelo wonders:
If he squeezes hard enough
Make one good person?
Like unwanted blast
Vuvuzela to ear drum
Our day is ruined
“Party at mom’s house!”
screams blue scarf mandana bro;
stole 2 beers from fridge.
Bleeth though they may be
I bet these girls can give out
A wicked handjob
Deltus, I’d let ’em;
my own wrists are exhausted
from daily abuse.
Summer night breezes
Let the mud wrestling begin
Bring me my Falstaff
Wax rhetorical
If a choad falls in backyard
Cell photos on ‘net?
Fat boy’s blow face like
Jim Belushi’s “The Zit” from
Animal House. Pop!
Henry on the right
Is thinking: spit or swallow?
Just found out he’s straight.
Tony and Vinnie
celebrate aluminum
siding install job.
Drunk choadwank in back
Assumes crucifixion pose
Who will oblige him?
The waterboy has
glowstick attached to gold chain.
The fuck’s up with that?
Axe booze and smokes
Eight guidos in stinky heat
Italy in shame
Giant purse stashes
Eight enormous vibrators
That they have all used
Shirtless guy so drunk,
“yo chill bro, relax bro, take
it easy bro, yo”.
Conjoined headband twins
keep partying on, though one
has been dead for hours.
This looks just like
Lakers party at neighbor’s
Underaged drinking
Large wing span in back,
Oh so proud of his douche self.
Needs kick in temple.
.
Assorted hotts roll.
The Natty Light flows freely.
Along with herpes.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Jersey Shore 2 cast,
got too mainstream Guido so
series is cancelled!
I like sweatshirt hott–
she looks to be the brightest.
I’d pee in her purse.
“Yo, dis be our show!
We party hard in Newark!”
Great, more Jerz Sharts.
Cheap domestic beer
Cheap aluminium siding
Yep, low-rent douchebags
Smell of dried vomit
Shirtless dude barfed on beer 2
Causes Ginny’s snarl
Tank-top douche surprised:
Bro’s fingers in his butt, hears
“I found your glow-stick!”
Terrorists headbands,
Al aqsa martyr brigade,
Freakin’ Wow, just wow.
Fat boy on the right,
Simply can’t wait to expel,
Mouthful of bro’s jizz
The bros are paired off,
hair not the only “blowouts”
they’re gellin’ tonight.
“Vuvuzela Boy”
at right; his constant farting
makes a droning buzz.
I spot 2 bitch sticks,
2 glow sticks, 4 lipsticks and
four dick-less dipsticks.
Blue Möbius strips
have plenty of ants trying
to crawl off the edge.
Utah firing squad
reloads and aims at this bunch.
What? Is it too soon?
High school was years ago
Parents weep for the old country
Boys and girls bend over
Tall douche stands-in for
Touchdown Jesus, assumes
proper position.
Post-graduation
(yes, Jerz schools let them through),
they’ve peaked; yeah, right here.
Peaceful night shattered
The once-quiet trailer park,
With white trash shin-dig
Thanks to DB1,
I count syllables in all
my Friday emails.
“Caption This” Haiku:
“Clichéd poses, blowouts, grease
offend less. Played out?“
One drunk guido? Check
Scavenger hunt high jinx done.
Next up: TPing.
Leopard print dreamer,
Has the face of a lemur
I would still ream her.
High school grad party
Die hards. Too bad lawn darts are
now made from plastic.
Science wins again
.
Headband douches die from AIDS
.
From the “lifestyle”
This wasted talent
Is why the United States
sucks scrote at soccer
Hey Scrotato Head,
you must throw darts harder; they’ll
stick. Just keep trying.
what if? photobombers
were given their own photo, would
the gutters pwn it?
Scrotum Pole @ 7:56am threw down the rhyming gauntlet. Thought I’d give it a try:
Brunette hand-job team,
dude in tank-top is a queen,
and green glow-sticks gleam.
^ fuccen forgot the ” . ” line space. F*ck wordpress!
The fabled blowout,
of style I wish they’d go out;
same with photo pout.
Hot cat in the wild,
tiger camo does not work,
predouchers lurking.
Eight is sure enough
To cause toxic Axe cloud. One
succumbs. Fat guy spews.
We suck at soccer
Kick England’s ass in Choadwanks
We’re good for something
‘Hunters stop and wait
for Boss to post front page stuff,
or just Haiku lull?
The roof, the roof is
On fire; Kick the ladder
And burn baby burn
Looks like he poses
at imitating Moses
But this just blowses.
Drunken teenagers,
bad music and cheap liquor:
Boise garage prom
Brunette with huge purse
too happy to hide in it;
must be major bleeth.
The vinyl siding
Wraps this tiny house – Just like
Condoms on their wangs.
His imitation
Moses tries to part Red Hotts
From the Choadwanks. Fail.
Water boy’s oily,
as dainty as a doily,
friends ass is soily.
siamese twin still alive
hes not heavy
hes my brother
Pink bra-strap brunette:
something is up with her hair–
how large is her skull?
Front row Bob’s surprised
Fat guy shoved a glow stick
where the sun don’t shine
Guidos try “roofies”
On their girls; Hey dumb asses
You’re doing it wrong
Standing on a roof,
Drunk Scrotes knock bitches down, while
striking douche poses.
Glow sticks aren’t shooters
As they find out the hard way.
Rectal polyps sprout…
That’s not a big purse!
That’s a clear plastic bag of
poo! Gulf States carnage!
Work stifles home page
No chance for Crucial today
Friday meetings suck.
It’s not The City
It’s still Guidos in Jersey
“Lair” in Mom’s basement
Bros under soffit
ladies’ dads say they’ll profit:
“Keep your hands off it.”
Blue Banded Douches
reenact ‘Karate Kid’
Need nad jitsu kick.
Missed haiku today
because we got a new dog.
“Bark, Bark!” says Milo.
Massengill: real pic?
Giving Boatbutter a run
For our in-house stud.
.
Did I just type that?
I post real pic of me here
And I’m deported.
.
(Not really, but fuck you Arizona).
New pooch for Bunsen!
Wheezer wants to see some pics!
Puppy or full grown?
Another fuccen’ sweet Friday Haiku, bitches! Somebody remember to plug in Lämp, and bring on that ass pear!
.
(I might miss next week.
Wife is extremely pregnant.
Hope it’s not a douche!)
To Bagnonymous:
Our best wishes for baby;
won’t be douche or bleeth.
@ Wheez:
.
Probably won’t be;
but if keeps me up all night,
it’ll be “asshole.”
Whatever happens,
the li’l one will be well-versed
in mocking the douche.
Crucial, that’s my head
I didn’t participate
the last time around.
.
I appreciate
your compliment, even if
it’s kinda faggy.
All right, you homos,
Massengill and Crucial Head:
Get a hotel room!
THAT MUTHUFUCKA!
Is a bit too late again!
I got a hunnert!
Company picnic–
I must go feign social skills,
and drink lukewarm beer.
.
Will return later
to check out what DB1
has on tap today.
.
…And by “tap” I mean
ass pear. ..And by “ass pear” I
mean “fwappy, fwap-fwap.”
‘Zona voted to
ban the Cheesy Gordita
Crunch. Way too ethnic.
@ Wheezer
Milo says hello
with doggy smile and wagging
tail. Rescued from death.
http://img203.imageshack.us/i/milo1e.jpg/
Milo is awesome!
Good on you for the rescue –
he looks quite happy! : )
Back from Montreal
Back on the Front Page! Woo Hoo
I missed you f*ckers
@Dr. BHD
.
Beautiful pooch there
And Milo is a great name
I’m sure you – SQUIRREL!!
My Utes PAC 10 bound!
The Scrotato Head clan cheer
Suck it BYU!
I am gaseous
In my assious; like Clay
That is Cassius.
@ Mr Scrotehead
Welcome to the Pac10
USC will rule under restrictions
Go Cal bears, only thing good about beserkly
Stanford bye bye with out a runner
Garage jam tonite
‘Sock is down with the strep throat;
Try bourbon gargles…
.
Two of my band mates
Just got half-stacks; Look’s like ‘Sock
Stuck playin’ the bass….
.
Can’t hear myself play;
Headin’ to the music store
For full stacks, bitches
.
Garage band debtor
Burns thru kid’s school funds; oh well
Work builds character.
.
Ears squeal like raped cats;
Fuck ear protection; windmill!
*Deaf like Pete Townsend….*
Fire up Smoke Machines;
Break out the pen lasers, bitch –
Tonight WEENUS rawks.
“WEENUS’ non-sanctioned
By the other guys; looks like
We’re still “The Whiskey Shits”…
As the four douchemen
of the apocolypse,
drank heavily, they dreamed
that they’d ride the four hotts hard,
and put ’em away wet.
DarkSock should post link
MP3 for Whisky Shits
Need new IPod tunes.
Why do I know that
Whiskey Shits’ encore will be
peeing in a horse?
Not a song cover
But actually peeing
In a horse’s ass
@ Wheezer and Mr. Scrotato Head
.
Milo says “Bark Bark!”
once more which means “Thank you cool
guys who deal with my dad.”*
.
*”I’m no good with all the syllables yet. Bark bark!”
Whisky Shits cover
of “Smoke on the Water” will
be too literal?
Whiskey Shits’ cover
of “Backdoor Man” will end with
human centipede
Whiskey Shits’ next song,
a cover of “Brown-Eyed Girl,”
reaches number 2.
Whisky Shits cover
of White Snake’s “Slide It In”
will have horse on stage?
Three boys and four girls
Mocking the new guy’s fresh corpse.
Now that’s a party.
Fat teetotaler.
Stackhouse rails against the wind.
Bottled water betch.
Whiskey Shits’ cover
of “Run for the Roses” does
Not end well at all
Whiskey Shits’ cover
Of “Wild Fire” is banned by
The SPCA
.
“Wild” – one syllable or two? I went with one.
Dark hair and olive skin.
Fam’ly resemblance? Good bet.
Offspring will have gills.
If that purse isn’t
Packing a sawed off shotgun,
It’s just too damn big.
“Antonio Sabato Jr. meets 21 Jump Street era Johnny Depp” has too many syllables. Dammit.
Touchdown Jesus has
a habit of showing up
in strangest places.
Habitat for Hu-
manity cuts loose after
a house-raising, whoooooo!
Construction workers
loosen up caryatids
before installing.
Bob and Carol and
Ted and Alice greet Pete and
Pat and Dave and Sue.
Raccoons hiding in
fascia report that workcrews
pee in their own butts.
Windowpane-check-shirt
Chet up-chucks chewed chickpeas cheese
on wifebeater Chuck
Five to three, Michelle O-
bama’s sleeveless style beats the
covered arms, Broheim!
Canadian folk
know that LaBatt’s Poo far out-
numbers the Blue brew.
P B R was once
an honored brau amongst the
youth of U S A.
Douches, too must leave
the nest, and wings must be test-
ed. See Birdie Drink!
First glance, her leather
purse is short wood ladder; next
glance, his wood’s at ‘er.
left-most douchebag got
gang banged by his 3 buddies
while hotts watched and laughed.
what a prolific
haiku day! good job hunters.
i’m always late here.
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