Friday Haiku
Vegas ‘Bag Sandwich,
One slice greasy. One moldy.
But mmm… squish filling.
illustrated man
is a print shop tragedy
hott has big fake cans
— creature
Squish filling is bleeth
But I would gnaw uponst thigh
Like famished Daschund.
— Crucial Head
Ed Hardy shirt stretched
far beyond capacity
looks like a tattoo
– Hot Buttered Poopcorn
Lepper Messiah
Gathers flock for his sermon
On STD Love.
— Crucial Head
ron darling douche on
left ,temp notta expired
for beating the sox
— Euripidouche
Samurai Scrote feigns
inked torso disguise in place
of suit and necktie.
— Whoop-di-douche
researchers have found
diabetic tattoo ink
reacts with stupid
— the ‘bag apple
I want a skull, and
A star, and flowers, nice boobs
Oh, and a clock, and…
— Mr. Scrotato Head
She should buy a new
bikini instead of just
patching the old one.
— Mr. White
Just because your friend
is horrid, doesn’t downplay
your bag hand gesture.
– Bag Margera
Mole tatt in black hair
quite realistic: skull choad
should avoid the sun.
— WheezerHCwDB
The clock on naval
Says its time to get a life
Still putting it off
— Vin Douchal
Even though he’s dead
Sinatra would have him killed
For wearing that hat
— Snoop Douchey Douche
illustrated man
is a print shop tragedy
hott has big fake cans
his explanation
toilet paper of Titans
they must have wiped twice
Tatt douche body-slammed
Sunday Times comics section
…How ‘Bags read these days.
Chode on the left thinks:
“I’m douchie, but IT job
Is still safe next day.”
I like those boobies
Did I say I like those boobs?
Boobs… boobies… Bosoms.
Yin and Yang of douche
One douche can never go back
The other has hope.
Tatted douche thinks, “Wow
I’m so hard core… no one else
Has tats”… wah, wah, waaaaaahhhh.
My four-year-old has
More skill than ‘bags tatt artist
Looks like burn victim.
Left says “two in the
pink,” she says “one in the stink,”
right says “Poo in ink.”
Me an’ Creatch tonight
Haiku’n like mu’fuckers
Boss best not delete.
And Whoop-Di too! Sweet.
More than two witnesses to
Modern miracle.
If Boss deletes these
I’ll bitch and moan tomorrow
Then praise the Ass Pear.
@Boss,
Just roll these over
Tomorrow morning and let
All else take their aim.
Squish filling is bleeth
But I would gnaw uponst thigh
Like famished Daschund.
Hand signal’s Mors Code
For: “Two hundred twenty three”
Diseases they bear.
ron darling douche on
left ,temp notta expired
for beating the sox
Pink and blue icing
on blonde cupcake lures the flies,
both cattle and fruit.
buffalo beast thinks
this is the best post ever
may even join in
Her Bikini tri-
angles are like the famous
Atoll: very blown up..
Buffalo Girls, won’t
you come out tonight and mock
with Buffalo Beast?
Anyone else drunk?
I have imbibed my fair share
Ready to mass fwap.
Samurai Scrote feigns
inked torso disguise in place
of suit and necktie.
Mr. White’s wiener
Stands erect in the back ground
Ready to dispense.
One in this trio
Has leprosy… who is it?
I know… hard question.
Lepper Messiah
Gathers flock for his sermon
On STD Love.
I think alcohol
Has finally rendered me
Useless… g’night all.
More like In ‘n Out
burger: ask for animal,
get the works, gobble.
‘Vegas: Where Baby-
lon’s sins and Egypt’s Roset-
ta stone tatts unite.
researchers have found
diabetic tattoo ink
reacts with stupid
slick pool pimp by day
Susan would never suspect
he cleans Gulf nightly
Mario Lopez
and Miss South Carolina
uncomfortable
Lo, Friday Haiku!
It’s “Take Your Dog To Work Day”
R.I.P. Farrah
I’m very confused
Friday Haiku on Thursday?
Blogger lookin’ good…..
Whoopsie, sorry team.
Hung over on the Mad Dog,
Fixed it. Now HoHos.
Wow, that threw me off!
WordPress cranked on X, blow, Axe?
Or just PBR?
I want a skull, and
A star, and flowers, nice boobs
Oh, and a clock, and…
Two count two boobies
Tatt choad counts three and a half?
New math is tricky.
Scrolling after work
would’ve had me here last night
and I’d have missed sleep.
Croosh and creatch asleep?
Haiku midnight shift is tough.
Differential pay?
Married in Vegas
Jake said where I go Chaz goes
Divorced in Vegas
Boy, that’s fuccen weird!
Where did all these posts come from?
E.S.P. ‘hunters.
Mario Lopez,
Tara Reid, Travis Barker.
No one would miss them.
Silly Putty douche
was left in a dumpster of
old Sunday comics.
Asswipe on the right
is like comics page gone bad.
Douchebert or Poosbury?
Rare-ass blue nipples,
holy aqua triangle,
No, they’re not his tatts.
Bleeth with hairy arm
She’s Stage-1 redeemable
I’ll be her mentor
Premature rollout?
WTF with ten pm
posts? Crucial cleans up.
Boss, new idea?
Expanded front page winners:
Late shift and day shift.
One could only wish
tattoo ink was poisonous.
Oh, if it were true..!
Chuey, Pam, Beezer
Bring the bad breath and beer farts
July 4th picnic
Douche has Cadillac
Tat above his junk? Truly
a Cad who Lacks, yes?
Brown-skinned poolside douche
Already the color “poo”
Nipple creeps me out
Mick Jagger skull tatt
eating message on belly,
makes this grown man cry.
BP oil mongers
Pound their fists in jealousy
At not drilling Pam
She should buy a new
bikini instead of just
patching the old one.
Not surprisingly:
Those are not tatts–just bruising
from deserved beatings.
Seven thirty-one
sees Mr. White for the win –
I laughed my ass off.
When you don’t get sun,
hardy tatts will not cover
your pasty whiteness.
The clock on naval
Says its time to get a life
Still putting it off
Belly button clock
says five to three. These are
odds that he is gay.
Let’s tattoo his face
with a two-by-four. I hate
wasted space, you know.
Just because your friend
is horrid, doesn’t downplay
your bag hand gesture.
Twilight of culture…..
let’s drive a stake through his heart;
sun isn’t working.
Somewhere on that chest
Secret map to Pam’s coochie
Chuey found it twice
They were young, in love
Went wild in Vegas. Now
Cry themselves to sleep
I don’t know what’s worse:
Vid of girl shitting in tub
or this goddamn mess.
Trying to read this
douche incites dyslexia
I’m getting nauseous.
Mole tatt in black hair
quite realistic: skull choad
should avoid the sun.
Vegas convention
Tow truck drivers of I.E.
Can’t afford blond ‘ho
Ed Hardy shirt stretched
far beyond capacity
looks like a tattoo
Left to right: some dude,
blonde boobie hott, and last but
least, Friday Asshole
bodacious tities
I want to touch and squeeze them
can’t wait for ass pear!
Pink bikini stretched
in an outward direction
makes my pants stretch too
rock paper scissors
taught Raoul a nice lesson
scissors cuts pink top
Random scribblings
I’ve seen better “art” on a
3-year-old’s fridge door.
Groin shave tatt reveal
welcome nowhere: I champion
strong elastic bands.
When he sunburns and
Blisters, Chad and Kate will have
Wallpaper for den
if one can stare hard
at the douche with the tattoos
Plinky’s mom appears
Tatt-bag lost the tip
of index finger in bleeth’s
voracious cooter.
Massive mountains of
mammary make most mono
eyed monsters emerge.
Alliteration:
nice twist to Friday Haiku.
Kudos to Bag M.
Don’t hate on the hott
Like you don’t want to be mashed
between two big boobs
Card suits on fingers,
Tatt Joker short of full deck.
I want to poke her.
Glorious boobies.
T. Reid hott soothes hangover.
Tat douche brings it back.
.
Sumir cutting loose.
Indian girls don’t put out.
But skanks put out herp.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
We play finger game;
left two go for scissors, I
take rock to scrote’s head.
A sign of the times:
Our symbolic peace sign turned
for meaningless pose.
Bronze boobs bounce between
Baked boner and Bruise Brother
Blue Beaver? Bonus!
.
Take that Bag Margera!
Rarely photographed,
Crucial Head’s coloring book
is shown wearing hat.
Tatt says “Born 2 Clapp”?
That’s truth in advertising,
but aren’t shots cheaper?
Almost 100;
head start should’ve had us there,
but we will make it.
Pool side bar goes green
No more menus, just order
From list on his ass
My torso canvas
A kaleidoscope of poo
Because I can’t tan
Human Shrinky Dinks
In 10 minutes they’ll be poo
He’ll be a lamp shade
Scissor fingers were
used to cut bags finger and dick,
the last of bare skin.
Porsche logo on gunt?
I don’t want to look too close;
please keep rag top closed.
Wish tattoo needles
Would clip both my optic nerves
I can’t watch that tool
Scott Weiland crashes
couples’s non-skanky photo,
makes it much, much worse.
Crusty crud condemns
cousins concerning caress
of curvaceous cans.
Your move Scrotato.
Collar tatt hidden
by neck shadow; it may read:
“Choad 4 life.” It’s true.
Even though he’s dead
Sinatra would have him killed
For wearing that hat
THAT MUTHUFUCKA
asleep again today, huh?
Sorry, amigo.
Tilted camera
yet another cliché trick.
This photo still sucks.
got head start last night
Boss gave us Westies a shot
head hurts from whiskey!
There should really be
much more chest hair in this pic
than we’re seeing now.
Croosh got two on front!
One for each boobie; night shift
work pays dividends.
Ms Pink Bolt-Ons sweats
Sal the Guido demonstrates
his finger-bang technique
Tattoo-Splatter Choad
hovers near silicon sweater-meat
Jerz Guid grins like Ape
walking map of Choad
sucks out the creamy filling
of mushroom topped pole
Pic tells a story
This skank can turn normal guy
To scrawny poo sack
Blues Brohiem,
wear Ed Hardy shirt,
looks strangely out of place,
at the pool.
Boobies!
Turbo-topped Tonya
Tortures two turds, time tic-tocs
on tatted tummy
.
Who cares about work deadlines!
Hows that Margera?
Head is spinning
Seeing two posts on Front Page
Blunts my hang over.
Rare gaff by the Boss
Coupled with mass alcohol
Brings me victory!
Crucial’s double post
means he buys a round of drinks.
Make mine a double.
Boss puts up his picks
Baghunters drop off planet
Where’d everyone go?
Little Loni’s large
lively lumps luring loathsome
lice-lousy locals.
.
I need to go to lunch, but afterwards I can do this till we run out of letters.
Scrotes sandwich sexy
Sarah. Syphilis soon shall
soil souls, swimsuits
.
Scrotato swings, swishes, sweats.
Well shit…
I will gut Ink Douche;
Melon-ball his insides out,
My Hardy Condom.
DarkSock arrives late
Laments his commitment to
Job and family
Green-eyed turbaned skull
appears to be throwing up
all over this clown
Does Daisy do duds?
Disgusting. Don’t dare defend
dipshit’s dick drawings.
Vegas Viagra
Vagrants Violate Vicky’s
Vapid vagina
Zack’s zodiac zits
zooms zoroastrian zoo.
Zombified zeitgeist.
.
Check and mate.
I dont’ even know what that means.
.
Pam’s perky pom poms
Produce petit packages
Poolside pride plummets
.
VAGBLAM!
Sexy slut sporting
splendid supple suck soothers
sees scrotes surround sides.
Quadriplegics queue
Quarry quality queef queen
Quixotic quahog
Jumbo jelly jug’s
juicy jiggle, justify
jubilant jerking.
Tatts testify to
Tool’s transformation towards
Total taint tickler
Wretched writings were
warning: weak wanker won’t work,
wears welfare wardrobe.
Walrus wieners wilt
When Wendy’s weathered whoppers
Wobble woodenly
Girl’s gorgeous gourmet
gozangas gather greasy
guidos, getting grabs.
Unclean usurpers
Unite, Utilize urine,
Unplug uranus
Fugly foreskin fags
flock forward for fine females
fake floppy funbags.
Fabulous fakies!
Fungus friends freely fondle
Frontal fabric folds
Wtf is that? toad!
i love the boobies but
I hate the douchebags
Amy’s apples are
ample and awesome, although
assholes ambush air.
X-rated Xena
Xyloid xeriscaping
Xanax Xanadu
Wow. That one actually hurt.
.
Peroxide Patty
Pets preferred partner. Putrid
Punk pouts, poses, poops pants
Calling it a day.
Well done Mr. Scrotato.
Worthy opponent.
You too Margera
Friday Haiku is epic
Three more on the bench…
.
Hairless Homos host
Helpless hotty, her holy
Handfuls hardly hang
.
.
Gina’s golden gunt
Gives gorillas grotesque groin
Grape giantitus
.
.
Sue showed shaved stool star.
Suggested sweet sodomy.
Steve’s schtupper shriveled.
“Vegas Viagra
Vagrants” still making me laugh.
Perfect douche band name.
Well played, boys… well played.
if you drink bleach by
accident, stare at this pic.
all will be balanced.
punctual haiku!
i’m crying salty fuccen
tears of boobie joy.
(i counted 3 syllables in “punctual”, not sure if it’s right)
Scrawny tattooed man
You’d make a better lampshade
Where’s my skinning knife?
Excellent work Bag and Scrotato, vapid vagina and jubilant jerking… bwahahaha