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Tuesday, June 1, 2010
HCwDB of the Week
Just a triumphant few weeks of hottie/douchey pics, almost impossible to cull down to a final three. And by triumphant, I mean culture shredding grease poo. Here’s your first group of finalists to win a spot in the next HCwDB of the Month:
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #1: The Sharkbag and Renee
What more can be said about cheesy mo’ club promoters coopting the signifiers of late 70s punk to get a better nightly booking fee to spin Rihanna songs for suburban greaseballs paying 30 bucks to buy overpriced Grey Goose and lose their hearing in the off-chance they might get boob grope on the dance floor?
Yup.
That last paragraph pretty much said it all.
Renee is slutty Gina Gershon in ’95 hott, and here, and while the Sharkbag moves on to a trampy “Cat in the Hott” here, it was Renee whose low hanging fruits asked me to pluck them like tangelo squeeze.
But is the Sharkbag’s mo’ and mail slot sneer toxic enough in service of polluting Renee to win HCwDB of the Week?
That brings us to candidates #2.
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #2: The Starblazer and Astra
Like import Japanese anime, the ‘Blazer began pulling one of the most toxic double moves we’ve seen on the site in months.
Ab/tatt douche reveal while kissing a hott brings in every element of narcissism and need to be seen that defines the modern proto-bag.
He is the Haltrex 9000.
Greasing up Astra in a run of pics, here and here.
But what’s this?? Bringing 2009 HCwDB of the Year winner Smoot to the game? Yikes. That’s like hiring Van Halen to play your high school prom.
But wait!! Who’s this coming to the ring?… Could it be… a dark horse in the running?…
HCwDB of the Week Finalist #3: The Unisex Yaz Dangler and Mocha
Could it be?? Could a reader mail submission of a boozy bar hott with beautiful eyes and perfect suckle mamms getting mugged on by a punk-ass face-clown like Yaz, really challenge for the Weekly in a week with The Shark and the ‘Blazer?
That remains to be seen.
But Yaz is all sorts of aging hipsterbag douche, and Mocha, while tatted up, still has the innocence and servitude of a mid 18th Century industrial revolution Northern England bar wench with a cockney accent and a propensity to put out if you buy her a Bass.
But enough to take the Weekly?
Just missing the cut was the potent and perhaps overlooked due to being posted in a mention of my appearance on the Adam Carolla Podcast, Zombie Kevin. Hmm. Those are some tasty lasses. I may need to give Zombie Kevin an exemption to compete in the next weekly, since this’ll be a short week. Also, lets welcome Dr. Redderick Lobster and Europeans, Teenagers and Shoe Polish to the Closet of Poo, where they will be locked up forever.
So them’s your three couplings. Which provides the right elements to make the alchemy of perfect HC and DB cohabit?
Sharkbag and Renee? The ‘Blazer and Astra? Or the Yaz Dangler and Mocha?
Which deserves to be HCwDB of the Week?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread. And if you haven’t registered a profile name yet, join HCwDB here.
Vote now, so I can justify waking my hungover ass up.
