Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Spike Brothers Spend Six Seconds in the Presence of a Hot Chick On Her Way to the Bathroom
Six seconds may not seem long.
But it was long enough to get her to pose for the picture, bro!!!
Eat that, Frat Guys over at Gamma Sigma!!!
Holy smoking hot hott! Six seconds would be more than enough… for me to spew leaving her completely unsatisfied.
Most expensive first date ever. When two douchenozzles have to pool their carwash tips in order to afford dinner and drinks (they’ve got an in with the valet…free parking SWEET!) but neither was willing to play wingman.
I’d hump her comforter.
Ya think Stackhouse has a left-handed Jew lawyer suing for copyright infringement over this?:
.
Get some
this picture makes me scream…BOOBIES!
I’d finger her ottoman.
I hope that for the douche on the right that it’s only his big head that’s sleepy.
She should not pass GO. She should NOT have collected two douchebags. She should go straight to the Hall.
Now please, have pity, crop that picture until only the middle remains.
She is a stunner. They are stunned. Once she gets the 100 spot the picture is over and she dupes other goofballs.
High class strip club with porn playing on the TV in the background. She wins, they suck.
I would give 100 to give her the old King George and splotch on her neck.
Six seconds is an eternity. What do you suppose they did with the other four seconds? Talk?
I would Nazi-speed-kick her purse and lunge for the Vicodin as the contents scattered around the dance floor.
I’d watch Sleepless In Seattle with her cupholder.
Good LORD she’s gorgeous, and they must be flat-lining with those flat-tops.
Vestal virgins would smack her silly with jealousy.
Agreed. She’s fucking tremendous.
I’d watch Singles with her garage opener.
GOOD LORD!!!!!!!!!! To the hall with this vixen!
You know one of these guys is related to her in some way. Has to be!
I would jerk off her gardner’s dog.
I’d watch Sex and the City 2 with her toilet brush.
The Choadscote Brothers from the move, “Oh Brother, Ye Art Douche.”
ChoadscRote!
I would fucck her with my own coock during an earthquake which apparently happened today while I was banging a black tar heroin junkie in my minivan. The heroin wasn’t the the only thing that was black.
50/50 chance that cocck will now turn black. Don’t tell Mrs. Kroeger. Oops.
I’m game:
I’d watch Twilight with her radon detector.
Glory hole attendant to Yale’s secret Skull and Bones society.
I’d rake her hot cinnamon Tic Tacs across my cornea while I fisted her toaster oven.
I’d take her unwashed Snuggie™ blanket out to a nice Sea Bass dinner at one of the Bonefish franchises, then to a matinee screening of Toy Story 3 with a 5th of liquor smuggled in, then afterward drunkenly foist myself on it in the back of my SUV, drop it off at her front doorstep and never call again but instead anonymously leave $48 in handwashed bills in the mailbox 2 months later and repress the shame and memory until gasping on my deathbed as the figure in black beckons to the flames behind him.
I’d watch Goodfellas with her lawn sprinkler.
I’d watch soccer with her cockkatoo
Holy Shit! Hot doesn’t even begin to describe her. She is trans-beautiful. She is pan-sexual. All who gaze upon her, regardless of sex, race or age, recognize her beauty and cover their eyes in pain.
I’d play Bunko with that one aunt of hers. You know…that one aunt.
I’d put her uncle Bernie’s glass eye in my butt and then use it to watch “The Blues Brothers” out of my own ass.
I would finger-bang her showerhead while watching an episode of RealSex.
I would kidnap her dog, give it a long and happy life, then one year after it died of natural causes I would drop its dessicated carcass down her chimney and chase it with a dump while listening to NPR on a vintage Sony AM/FM Walkman™
.
.
that’s right bitches; broke out the “™” HTML gag twice in the same thread. Three times, counting this sentence.
Fuck it. I just can’t out-sick “I would jerk off her gardner’s dog”.
.
You win THIS round, C. Aloysius Head, but wait till I get home to my medicine cabinet…
I would enroll in FIDM, take sewing, fly to Afghanistan to get the finest silks and spend two years making her a dress just to have a shot with her sister.
I would take her soccer ball to a vuvuzela concert.
These comments were over after Crucial Head’s “I would jerk off her gardener’s dog”. Sorry, no one can top that. http://binside.typepad.com/binside_tv/images/2008/06/24/gus_ugly_dog.jpg
I errantly clicked the channel for after supper entertainment to” Friends”. What a bunch of douche stools. I’d like to break that Jennifer Anniston’s skull with the Jew guy and Skull fuck her when she is dead.
I’d lick the residue of Ambien and bourbon from Darksock’s unconscious lips just for the chance to fall into a medicated sleep and have a wet dream about Crucial jerking off her gardner’s dog.
I would invest 30 years in military service to become a top general only to piss it away disparaging the commander in chief in a public way in the off chance that she’s a rabid Tea Partier / Fox Analyst / GOP Booster and it would allow me to break the ice with her at an anti-abortion rally or something.
I would encase my dong in Jif crunchy peanutbutter to better entice her sexually abused dog over toward my groinular region while I wrote a stern letter to the CEO of BP on an antique Carolina Cottage Ivory Finish Writing Desk stuffed silly with Twilight Team Jacob stationary.
I would skeletonize fat-faced Amanda Bynes and former porn actress Seka and use their flesh to grow corn and make her the most delicious chalupa ever. EVER.
@ DarkSock, 3:44
Tremendous topicality!
Does jerking off her gardener’s autistic grandson out-sick Crucial?
I’ve enjoyed a recent NYTimes series on Anosognosia, a condition in which a disabled person is unaware of, or denies that, he or she is disabled.
It makes me wonder: “Are Douches too douchie to know that they’re Douches?“
I would gorge on a bowl of Bear Cancer to the point of involuntary bowel movements just to impress her toilet.
@ Douchie
I read the first article in the series and half of the second. It is very interesting, and I’m sure it applies to the douche.
I’d jerk off Crucial’s dog just to lick her gardener’s dog’s spooge from Mr C Head’s sticky fingers in case that… Wait, where was I going with this?
I would build a space shuttle out of her toe clippings and fly it backwards around the sun so I could go back in time and perform forceful coitus with a humpback whale in an effort to make it communicate with a Klingon Bird of Prey in the future where here her great, great, great, great, grandchild was held captive by Captain Kirk for insubordination.
She is seriously HOTT and you guys are seriously SICK, but that’s been said before.
I would buttfuck a dying ostrich just to
make her giggle.
hey,what’s with the duck face on the left?
@ Mr. Scrotato Head 1:26 PM,
–
more like most expensive 6 seconds ever, am i right?
i mean, they couldn’t possibly have gotten an entire date out of her, could they?
i’m sticking with that assumption. to protect my fragile psyche.
On a side note, I briefly warmed up a bottle of hand lotion in the microwave prior to business and let me tell you, those first few pulls were tremendous….As you were.
i would put ads out on craigslist, webmd, ob/gyn quarterly, the pennysaver, oodle, etsy, minitrucker,olx, tradio, tv, cable, newspapers and radio in her area paying top dollar way above new retail for used vaginal and anal speculums, while direct mailing every gynecologist and clinic in her area, just hoping that one of them would be “the one”.
what, too late?
I would trace lines of Picasso’s “Guernica” upon her funbutton with my tongue until bleu cheese mold gathered upon her buttocks.
6 seconds of fornicative bliss is better than 5 seconds of fornicative bliss
I can give the highest bidder her phone number… But by the sounds of it you would need a plane ticket to Aust aswel.