Friday Haiku
Inscriptions on face,
Tell where the gold is buried,
Hint: “No fault divorce.”
Tattoos on his face
Signify his gangster ties
With MS-Turdy.
— Crucial Head
The plain white t-shirt
offsets Affliction body;
his ass is tapped out.
— Wheezer
Instinct takes over
As Duane humps Steff’s dress that looks
like mom’s couch cushion
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Jawa on on left cheek
Searches face for scrap metal…
Build droid to kill him.
— Boatbutter
Rorshach nuzzles up
Kimmy smiles uncomfortably
sees a bad pattern.
– Mr. Biggs
Sandy smells so good
Puddy Holly’s getting wood
Do better, she could
— saulgoode42
Prison G.E.D.
Teacher’s pet has a huge crush
Not a shot in hell
— Vin Douchal
Even this dude’s poop
Is bedazzled with
White Corn Hieroglyphs
— DarkSock
grandma’s wallpaper
disguises pointy funbags
anal bead necktie
— paperorplastic
Porn-quality hott
Gets sniffed by an ink-stained douche
Ruins my morning
BP capped their spill,
but isn’t at fault for this
leak of common sense.
Leering at the hott
with tatts on the head will bring
bouncer to clean mess.
Pfah closes his eyes
Regrets sleeping while his kid
Ran loose with Sharpie.
This ‘Bag’s future job?
Features something that includes
Word: Sanitation.
Two chemical peels
Black girl already had one;
Made her take a shit
Rosary necklace
Biggest beads I’ve ever seen
OH! …that’s why they’re brown!
I would laugh at this,
but when you pass out drunk, you
should hate the result.
“Sent of a Woman?”
… Or, the scent of a: whoa-man!
Douche prefers latter.
When delivering
Pizzas it doesn’t matter
How the fuck you look
The plain white t-shirt
offsets Affliction body;
his ass is tapped out.
Tattoos on his face
Signify his gangster ties
With MS-Turdy.
She is a tranny
Wearing my mom’s couch fabric
He eats dick fromage
‘Nam Vet sniffs his prey
Smiles knowing SHE has balls
Adds to necklace.
Jawa on on left cheek
Searches face for scrap metal…
Build droid to kill him.
Check out tattooed geek
Mother Mary on his cheek
Hope the chick’s a freak
Techno-organic
virus infection. That’s right.
X-men reference.
Programmer’s tatts show
the new font he developed:
bling wingdings. It sucks.
His Swatch is so old
It was around when she was
Still packing a shlong
Incense wafts from bleeth
Beckons ‘bag ever closer
Smells just like tucked scrote.
Beads are stained shit brown.
Only one explanation…
Ben-wa rosary.
Sandy smells so good
Puddy Holly’s getting wood
Do better, she could
‘Hunters are awake!
Haiku numbers strong today;
a sign of great things!
Maori wannabe,
forgot to add final touch;
colour-in whole face.
Douchebag longs for wiff
Of live female flesh after
Shaving with inkpen.
Don’t look now honey.
There’s a camouflaged lizard
looking to tongue-strike.
Who says girls don’t fart?
Check the look on this guy’s face:
Lovin’ every sniff!
Crucial: Rafterman
has escaped from Ho Chi Minh
To a new Village
Facial tattoos are
Inspired by the border
Of Boss’s web page?
Face isn’t finished;
my suggestions all include
hot branding iron.
Mo-nique tries to read
inscriptions on small man’s head,
cant understand “douche”.
Instead of fraggin’
Charlie, his assignment changed-
He will be faggin’
Sorry, Colossus,
I didn’t see yours in time.
We’re thinking alike.
This economy
Tough on Frank Gehry intern
Canvas for master.
Prison G.E.D.
Teacher’s pet has a huge crush
Not a shot in hell
She has a flower
dress. He has skin weeds. This is
a ruined garden.
Hott’s perky boobies
have me “rosing” up my palm;
just hope she’s a she.
.
.
.
.
(Those “her schlong” comments
are making me paranoid.
Is that a bad thing?)
Nubian princess.
I want to rock Chaka Khan.
By rock, I mean bang.
.
Greasy, V-neck douche.
Tatted ear? Seriously?
Future holds regret.
.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Obama’s new law
Sum of tatts cannot exceed
85 per cent
‘Bag inhales the scent
Of fresh cut post-op sutures
Ben-Wa Balls ready.
This isn’t a man;
It’s Henry Rollin’s penis
Roaming free again.
Tatto artistry
Elective course in third grade?
He failed, “A” for effort
Pfah’s IT team scrawled
Heiroglyphics his face
Warns against this site.
Hank’s hard-learned lesson:
Don’t mouth off to Medusa
Then nap while she tatts
Jill’s smellin’ of joy
Rudolph’s a felon, oh boy
Squeeze her melons, oy.
Last Haiku:
.
Pfah’s IT team scrawled
Heiroglyphics ‘on’ his face
Warns against this site.
Pretty flowered dress
Nicely manicured nails
Sadly now worth sh*t
An inked up dog poop
Look reeks of high school drop out
Plans kidnap murder
Boobies, hands, curves, thighs.
She’s definately all she.
Or I’ll need shower.
.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Just because she dwarfs
this tiny tatted vagrant,
don’t make her a man.
“Well I guess if you
Have the three hundred dollars
Let’s go to your room”
Think that she’s a “he”?
Then you must not have a cockk.
Go ahead and fwap!
Crafty tattoo guy
“Washes off in a few days”
Money in the bank
Rorshach nuzzles up
Kimmy smiles uncomfortably
sees a bad pattern.
A fetish couple
He likes tatts, she’s into scat
Match made in San Fran
Pfah’s absence explained;
He crashed his VW
Into a Tatt Shoppe
David Cross after
Arrested Development
“I just ‘tooed myself”
Jen smirks to herself,
Childhood issues now addressed:
“No, Daddy; fuck YOU”.
New name for tattoos
When they are on guys like this;
I call them “Shattoos”.
If you have to get
That close to tell if she’s hot
You need new glasses
He just flopped out wet,
A shivering stinky pile
From Jim Rose’s butt.
Girl scout training taught
her to play dead while in the
presence of wild bears.
.
Unfortunate that
teachings won’t apply to foul
necrophiliacs.
Marilyn Chambers
had daughter? Ivory Scrote
totally pure poo.
Tatt face is stupid
But I want to be helpful
I think she’s a dude
Moby is half blind;
Look at his new tatts – and now,
Hits on Alba’s mom.
It’s Mr. Inky
Trying to park his Dinky
Inside her Stinky
If you don’t think that’s
A dude, you may be surprised
By the reacharound
Or even more shocked
When she runs her shriveled prick
Up your shit canal
Steff proves tough to crack
Desparate mime tries sure thing
“Kicked in waffle pouch”
You can imagine how bad I wanted my $20 back.
Mixed reviews abound:
Is it a man or a chick?
(On the left, that is.)
Looks like R. Crumb’s son
Continues the Legacy:
He’s Bat Shit Crazy.
Pfah just uttered
Worst pick-up line ever said:
“Girl, I’m DRAWN to you…”
^sorry…
Instinct takes over
As Duane humps Steff’s dress that looks
like mom’s couch cushion
Tattoos on face, the
First sign of a douche. Hott
Backs away in fear.
-Dicy
He is the first guy
To get the new Tatt Technique:
“Shake n’ Bake Tattoo”!
Architects’ off-day
results in more laughs; blueprint
for great afternoon.
grandma’s wallpaper
disguises pointy funbags
anal bead necktie
Even this dude’s poop
Is bedazzled with
White Corn Hieroglyphs
Sickening scrotewank’s
skunk skin seriously scarred
suffering Sally.
Him: Jungle fever
A match made in East Lansing
Her: .45 cal.
Todd’s hard learned lesson:
Don’t puke in funny pages
Then use as bedsheet.
He’s wrapped in bad ink;
Her boobs are wrapped in
Polyester Hell
Her being a dude
is the only way he will
get any action.
Big Stein, Sheppard die;
this chump lives. Not a Yanks fan,
but that just ain’t right.
A leopard can’t change
its spots, nor can a tatted
douche: Predator-bag.
Tropical hot-print
on Hott is delish; tatts on
scrote? Like coffee grounds.
Law of contrasts must
rule: Clear-skinned hot gets print dress;
tatted scrotes wear white.
Sho’ nuff, he prayed the
rosary and the Holy
Mother of Hott came.
Too drunk to notice
That the lady is a dude.
Her hands dwarf his cock.
This is just wrong.
faux news style blonde
rarely evokes sympathy,
i feel bad for her.
I got nothing. These two fucktards deserve each other though.
Tatt face Larry
Perky fake blonde
Shit stains of the world
emploment opportunities limited
like untatted areas on head
death by horse erection
Tattoo face douchebags
Make me wistful for the days
Of Samurai Scrote
graffiti problem
has reached epidemic stage
space left for fist blow
Cindy not sober
enough to know just what she’s
posing next to. bleurrrrgh.
lady does not know
douchebag is sniffing her hair
she will lay smackdown
this is what happens
when you get drunk and pass out
in your friends tat shop
@wheezer 7:14am
that link is a g-dam thing of beauty!