Friday, July 2, 2010
Friday Limerick
Your humble narrator is traveling this Friday morning, headed up to New Hampshire for the weekend, so won’t be able to update the Haiku Mainpage.
So instead, here’s a Friday Limerick:
Big Bob was a pro tattoo inker,
With ladies boobs he did love to quite tinker,
But Tammy thought twice,
Before taking Bob’s advice,
And extensively playing with his sphincter.
The choad in the back has made appearances more
As with then, he’s still an eyesore
But the switch to this site
Has left me not quite right
To find his appearances like I could before.
Boss, have a fun trip, and enjoy the scenery Are you heading to the Monadnock region, by chance? Or perhaps the White Mountains (not the ones with yellow mountain streams)?
…..scenery.* Are…..
.
.
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Wouldn’t we all like to skip a period?
At least one haiku must make it into the comments section to preserve the sanctity of Fridays:
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Cro-Magnon Bag points
at hott next to him. Doesn’t
know hott’s not food source.
Here’s one previous appearance by the Carson Daly scrote in back.
Bald Tito Ortiz
points out “Who I’m fuccen now!
Yeah, take THAT, Jenna!”
A giggle of hotts he does see
With them he will never be
He points to the one
Who he thinks will be fun
But his crotch will only see her knee.
What we do not see
Is the Invisible Man’s
huge cockk in his mouth.
I’m saddened to see
gaggle of brunette hotties
defiled by this grease.
In a crowded room his happy face
Disguises the human disgrace
Yes, this is a pen
Of wasted oxygen
Habib, drop a bomb on this place
No more Alaska:
“Hang out with Florida ‘bags,”
Says Sarah Palin.
There once was a ‘bag with shades by ‘Dior.
With leftmost hott, I’d like to roll on the floor.
Alas, she’s occupied.
With said ‘bag, who lied;
Claimed: “Just a rash”, really is herpes sore.
.
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-Amerigo Vesdouchey
The Neanderthal
wanted “Aztec,” got ass tatt.
Serendipity?
Hope Bob suffers from constipation
From partaking in this abomination
And he pushes too hard
So his rectum gets scarred
Blasting vessels in utmost frustration
With a patronizing pat on the head
The hott knows what’s under the bed.
Tito Ortiz did not see
The ice pick she grabbed with such glee
She stabbed him with until he was dead.
This scene’s combined I.Q.
Is easily under 102
Bob is keeping it real
And the Woo Girls all squeal
At his grotesque and misplaced tattoos
DJ Thumb Ring in back is effeminate
Try again:
.
DJ Thumb Ring in back is effeminate
And the “music” he plays is all wet
Dude, you’ve no talent
In a move most gallant
I’ll dole out a beating you’ll not forget
Coy smiles on hotts
Give answer to question. Balls
are size of rice grain.
Totally effeminate, Vin, and thank you for drawing attention to this serious, though of late, overlooked breach of douchery. A thumb ring? A thumb ring! Coupled with those hideous white sunglasses, and offset by the “cans” necklace, that dude in back almost eclipses the entire monine$$ of the shot that is, of course, Big Bob (with the extremely gay sunglasses).
ps spikey, blond-tipped hair sucks dog’s balls too.
Her diaphram sticks out as much as her tits
Is she anorexic and given to food fits?
Still, I’d hit it hard
Even in a front yard
Even if her makeup hid zits.
I pose this question for you
Does this look like Cheeto Man to you?
It’s clearly pre-spike
and the skin tone he likes
and ‘fore he went to the Closet of Poo.
Big Bob is a Chocolate Gorrilla
his brain is mushy vanilla
he bounces at bars
& eats rusty cars
at night gives up ass & bites pilla
Cro-Bagnon takes up much of the view
Making my first reaction to be one of spew
But there are some Hott smiles
that go on for miles
I’d hit each of them between sips of my Dew
There once was a gorilla with sunglasses.
He tried, but got none of these fine asses.
For the ladies knew,
He ate lice off his crew.
And occasionally lubed their chassis.
.
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-Amerigo Vesdouchey
sorry, all I got
Bob’s lack of IQ is no hinderance
for his lack of sexual experience
He points at the hott
who will certainly not
forgive him for his small protuberance.
Upon his first trip to the city
Rollo correctly ID’ed pretty titty
he viewed in awe
& said with guffaw
“I squeeze it ’til it pops like a zitty”
Cro-Bagnon has inked tribal tats
That cover his nethers and nads
And he’s juiced the ‘roids
So he can crush his Droids
To impress the Hotts, wherever he’s at.
The hotts they doth smile from fright
From watching DJ Douchebag and Bob go all night
There was never a break
did either one take
They’re all wishing that they’d lost their sight.
Changing Gears:
.
That’s one beefy bag
Taking up one-third the pic
With tats that are sick.
Holy crap, is that Sara Palin in the purple bikini? I didn’t recognize her at first w/o her glasses.
Having moved from Toronto
No longer a homo
I eat my curds and whey.
In Montreal will eat lots of smoked meat
And start uploding choads by photo.
Sarah Palin purple bikini hot
Later she will be eating twat
DJ Dickhead rocks the mic
Big Bob loves DJs faux spike
When in Vegas, avoid hitting this spot
Fuccking movers are retarded until you give them a pie and booze.
Just sayin’ eh.
Cro-Bag points to her rack
As his first move to get her to the sack
But ‘roids shrank his Penis
So he’ll come off as a Venus
And need to go visit his quack.
‘Roids have him doubled with his hair falling out
With arms like trees, he stands very stout
But I follow his finger
And on her chest thrust I linger
This pic would be better without him, no doubt.
DJ knows Bob’s smile
is due to his thumb ring. Spins
more shitty music.
Its tough to change to
Haiku. Feel need to rhyme for you
But makes 8. Too Late.
Wrinkles on his skull
show proof that maggots move on
after host has died.
Sasquatch dipped in Nair
Lures the party to his lair
But the girls are safe
From this goon and his naif
He likes the scent of men’s underwear
His Dad
Yo DB 1, I live in Portsmouth, NH. if you want to stop through on your way to Winnipesaukee to no doubt hunt the ever effluence riddled Northern Lake Bag, let me know! We have decent bag hunting in Portsmouth and i would gladly help you navigate the douche shallows of my lovely port town. nh463free@gmail.com
Baldy Bob and his tatted posterior
Make the other douchebags seem inferior.
But look in the back,
And you’ll see Blacky-Jack
Whose sum total package’ is superior..
Bumper-tatt Bob and his Tammy
Are all smiles as he fingers her mammy,
While she rubs his pate-genie
Aladdin’s lamp weenie
Might show up and give her a rammy.
New England Yankees love hockey,
And fun on Lake Winnipesaukee,
But douche and its daughters,
Have sullied the waters,
They’re the zebra shell mussels of cocky.
Big Bob and Tammy love sun,
While their buddies like shade for their fun.
All smile, we can see,
In their shared repartee,
Nothing hides douchebags flashin’ their gun!
Miss Tammy has housekeeping taste,
Mr Clean makes her suck in her waist.
While he flashes his muscles
She postures and bustles
Her purple-fringed bra in post-haste.
With an eskimo tatt on his back,
Zack got jacked from his chemical stack.
The hotts love his pumping
But the chump isn’t humping
Cuz the roids sucked the juice from his sack.
Two douche and a posse of women,
Show their stuff which includes all the trimmin’.
One’s a choad, one’s a wank,
One’s a chub, one’s a lank,
And the gals may be in for a rimmin’.
Douchebaggery’s trick is inflating,
All the signs and the symbols of mating.
When Hotts make their passes
On douches with glasses,
Gay rimbags are quickly deflating.
i can’t tell the steroid from the silicone.
but the hotts still give me a raging bone.
that’s saying a lot
when you look at the rot
infesting this pic with fake testosterone.
Vin Diesel crossed with Pumpy? (with apologies to the memory of Pumpy, godspeed)