Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Jebus Doesn’t Shave
(With Biblical citation written by original Jebrovah’s Witness, Prophet Burt):
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And they looked down upon this man with great confusion. Who is this man of questionable clothes and exotic hots? Is he the one they would call Jebus? The wise man DB1 must proclaim it to be so.
– First Letter to the Scrotinthians 6:49
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Gaybag? Or European technobag? Mere technicalities. Jebus is beyond mortal douchescrotewankery. Jebus crosses over into the realm of the choadal sublime.
Totally gay. Has to be.
Gay is the new straight. So decreed Jebus from on high, flanked by savory suckle-thigh.
I see a future Hall of scrote inductee
In his next pic he’ll be wearing grills and smashing a bad guitar into a worse amp.
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After that we’ll see him with a pink shirt collar pop at a club in Miami.
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For Jebus is All Douches.
wearing a smock blind women would be ashamed of… Jeebus is my copilot!
Jebus defected from the Israeli Defense Force because he thinks he’s Lady Gaga. Gay? Straight? Jebus doesn’t care about labels! He is the ONE!
He plays the Juliette Lewis part in the Broadway musical of “Cape Fear”.
I’m going to spend the rest of the day making my decisions based on What Would Jebus Do?
when the elderly woman in Sarasota realizes that this gaybag stole her beach cover-up, oohh will she be pissed.
We will soon see the Shavior bearing spiked/gelled hair and Brothabag Leon facial fung. Then he will point at his abs.
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Look at this not as heresy, but as fact.
That broad just laid a yellow egg
@Justin 9:49am
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I’m going to spend the rest of the day making my decisions based on What Would Jebus Do?
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I am fairly certain that will lead to a sore butthole tomorrow.
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Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Jebus has nicer legs than his asian skank-ho…oh crap now I think I’m gay!
are there really so few good douche pics that you have to poach from 2009?
http://www.latfh.com/post/99256755/laaaaaadies-niiiiiiiight
I can’t look away from this train wreck of humanity.
Hell, I’d do him. I mean with a sawzall.
I haven’t seen any of these movies in great detail, so I couldn’t give an objective opinion. I just found it odd that it was featured on Spike.com:
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Top 10 Movies Douchebags Love
Wasn’t aware it was from LATFH, but Jebus transcends all comedy blog specificity.
– management
Jebus and the Amazing Technicolor Cum Drain was a great show. The tights were to die for.
Smote Jebus and bring back Old Bag Bernie Schwartz or the Wanky Hipsterbag for fuccks sake.
you weren’t aware of LATFH? Who is?
Jebus Built My Hotrod…
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….it’s a magenta Honda Civic hatchback with glass packs installed.
Jebus was the enemy in Iwo Jima.
Jebus Crass Superstar takes Des Moines by storm.
Gaybag? Not even close! Try “George Michaelbag.”
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I can’t take much more of this creepiness. You know, when the legions of regs were calling for an end to the 4Prong ridiculousness, I just didn’t get it. Why stop in the middle of a good–albeit smelly and of questionable sexual orientation–run. But Jeebus has made me seen the light. And that light is thine of everlasting poo, Amen.
I wash my hands of this f*cking hipsterbag. With urine, no less…
Jebus is a tranny into BOTH sexes.
Jebus Shittlesworth likes dribbling balls into his hole.
“You come and gooooooo…
You come and gooooooo….Oh!”
Right here, right now
There is no other place he wants to pee.
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-Jebus Jones
“Then Verily saith Jebus unto the other thief on the cross… do not despair, do not be afraid… be proud – be brave, times will change… for today wilt you be with me and a pair of guys.”
Jebus is a gaybag or 80sbag…….Dead or Alive style……..
You spins me right round baby right round
Like a record player right round right round
He’s as queer as a three dollar bill.
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And as gay as the day is long.
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May Yahweh smite him with a lightning bolt for impersonating his only begotten son.
What would Jebus do?
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Well, for one, he wouldn’t simply rise from the dead by floating from his grave in a ray of white light. No sir! He’d come flying out of that bitch wearing a technicolor ruffle-collar silk shirt, outstretched arms with jazz-hands ablaze, singing, “Helloooooo Dolly!”
@ Amerigo Vesdouchey, 11:07am
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“…as gay as the day is long…”
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Careful with those adjectives, man–you’re giving BostonDB a raging boner.
“Careful with those adjectives, man–you’re giving BostonDB a raging boner.
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No clue what that means.
Justin = Crucial Head
So that’s what happened to Richard Alpert.
I have this gut feeling that he enters a room with his female sidekick and never makes eye contact. He looks at the ground and quietly says something like, “I’m thirsty”. Female side kick relays his message to the rest of the by screaming, “HE NEEDS A DRINK!”
The second picture in the Jeebus collection provoked this suspicion.
“The plan has worked so far. There’s no turning back now” thought Buffalo Beast as he crept up on the unsuspecting Jeebus to finish what the doctors in Sweden had only partially achieved.
Yup, he gets off on making people around him uncomfortable. I would seriously enjoy kicking the shit out of him.
Jebus appears to attract a wide variety of transcontinental semi-hott. Though firm of thigh, I don’t mind this Asian bit of fluff. It’s not as if Jebes is going to be servicing her. Although hang on, it wouldn’t be a lady boy from Thailand would it? If that is the case, I retract everything.
How do you keep getting more pictures on this guy?
Jebus does not buy drinks. He turns water into Grey Goose.
I’d say it’s time to introduce the Lord Jebus to Lord Xenu.
When Jebus and Herod switched roles in JCSuperstar, Jebus never could get back to acting his original part again, but Mary Magdalene was as loyal as ever to her man.
in order to ascend mortal douchewankery, Jebus must produce a hott-less pic and still make HCwDB viewers vomit.
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actually, never mind. OF COURSE he is capable of such a feat.
Scrotato 10:43 FTW. Or is this the stage production of The Last Tan-tation Of Christ? That must be Mary Hagdalene on the right, there.
The Passion Of The Creep.
The Douchest Story Ever Told
The Ten Douchemandments.
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Hey, I think I’ll list ’em while I’m trying hard to shirk. Roman Catholic version. We’re the douchiest of all Christians, methinks.
1. I am Samurai Scrote, thy God. Thou shalt have no other Douche before me.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of Ed Hardy in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the clubbing day.
4. Honour thy bros and thy personal trainer.
5. Thou shalt not ill, yo.
6. Thou shalt not commit bad moves on the dance floor.
7. Thou shalt not be pale.
8. Thou shalt not bear chest hair, pit hair or groin hair.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ride.
10. Thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s Goose.
@ 11:11 am Bagnonymous said…
Well, for one, he wouldn’t simply rise from the dead by floating from his grave in a ray of white light. No sir! He’d come flying out of that bitch wearing a technicolor ruffle-collar silk shirt, outstretched arms with jazz-hands ablaze, singing, “Helloooooo Dolly!”
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Go easy on smearing an artist like Satchmo, brother. Now, Kon Kan’s “I Beg Your Pardon” or Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive”? No argument here.
What did Jebus say when he was crucified?
“Hey, I can see my Camaro form here!”
“FROM!” DAMNIT a drunk like me needs an edit feature!
I believe teh operative phrase here is “TWO SNAPS UP IN JEEBUS FORMATION!”
Finally. Figured it out.
Jeebus is really gay, which in my mind, puts him in the gaybag category, which will never reach full douchebag status. Why? Because any hott they are photographed with will not be bumping uglies with the Gaybag.
I still think he shouldn’t have won the weekly.
All due respect to Vin, He plays the Juliette Lewis part in the Broadway musical of “Gaped Queer”.
You give this guy too much time on here,next.
Tell her to ask him how to avoid getting those unsightly runs in tights.
I wonder if the pantyhose chaff his balls.