Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Froggy Puts a Wart on Lily’s Butt

And somewhere, deep in the grassy tree lined hills of outer Monrovia, a woodland fawn sheds a single tear for the future destruction of the natural world.

For Froggy has dishonored the purity of the Ass Pear.

And the Gods will not be so forgiving this time.

Froggy Puts a Wart on Lily's Butt

And somewhere, deep in the grassy tree lined hills of outer Monrovia, a woodland fawn sheds a single tear for the future destruction of the natural world.

For Froggy has dishonored the purity of the Ass Pear.

And the Gods will not be so forgiving this time.

Vishnu of Suburbia

The new Green Day album just doesn’t quite pack the same power.

Nick Preps for Brain Surgery

Don’t worry, Nick. There’s still hope.

Carol’s bartending career is just temporary until she can pay off all that debt from her trip with Kendra and Maryliene to Cancun back on that crazzzy summer of ’09. It was worth it.

Froggy Hops on Lily

Froggy does not appropriately appreciate Lily’s firm boobage with due attention paid.

He usually just passes out by the computer after placing his bets for the day on various sporting events, including baseball, Aussie Rules Football and Jai Alai.

Except every third Sunday or so, when Froggy summons enough energy to give Lily at least 45 seconds of boring, unsatisfying coitus in standard missionary position.

Which she will describe in great detail to her therapist through tears and a determination to someday discover the “real Froggy.” What’s “really in there, underneath the unfriendly and disinterested exterior.”

And what’s in there is flies.

MeatMo and the Long Island Jiglettes

MeatMo may wear sunglasses two sizes to small. And his sidekick, Orange Asian, may have an aversion to full time employment and nuance.

But together, the Long Island Jiglettes didn’t stand a chance.

The Mountinis

With a backlog of amazing submissions, this week is chock full of ‘bag, so while there may not be a vote, lets get our mock on.

First up, Canada’s shameful The Mountinis.

A modern conceptual inversion of the rural and rugged Canadian Mounties, The Mountinis tan and shave with the worst of douche culture. And are hitting on Kimberly with fullblown global Grieco Virus in effect.

Yikes.

Next thing you know, they’ll start sipping Appletinis like the true oranged up roidbags they are.

Blame Canada?

Don’t mind if I do.

Monday’s HCwDB Engine Fires Up

Your humble narrator is on his way back from a drunken traverse through rural New Hampshire with HotChick1, so no HCwDB of the Week this week.

Special callbacks to the many readers from New Hampshire who wrote in offering to ‘bag hunt with your humble narrator, including Christopher and Obi-Choad. Next time, fellow ‘bag hunters, we will hunt the rural New England Lakedouche together. But this time was private time for HC1.

That being said, there are a number of quality mock pics already vying for the next HCwDB of the Week, and I have a bunch fired up in the hopper for this week.

So lets clear that July 4th hangover and get our mockin’ and lustin’ on (said in a New Hampshire twang). For our job is not even remotely done.

Bring it, fellow hunters. I can’t do this alone.

Monday's HCwDB Engine Fires Up

Your humble narrator is on his way back from a drunken traverse through rural New Hampshire with HotChick1, so no HCwDB of the Week this week.

Special callbacks to the many readers from New Hampshire who wrote in offering to ‘bag hunt with your humble narrator, including Christopher and Obi-Choad. Next time, fellow ‘bag hunters, we will hunt the rural New England Lakedouche together. But this time was private time for HC1.

That being said, there are a number of quality mock pics already vying for the next HCwDB of the Week, and I have a bunch fired up in the hopper for this week.

So lets clear that July 4th hangover and get our mockin’ and lustin’ on (said in a New Hampshire twang). For our job is not even remotely done.

Bring it, fellow hunters. I can’t do this alone.

Happy July 4th!

To my fellow Americans, happy 4th!! To the rest of the world, sorry about Snooki. And to Canadians, Justin Bieber sucks.

Here’s a clip that is yet more from the avalanche of uncredited HCwDB “inspired” douchebag comedy bits that makes your humble narrator itchy and annoyed (alls I ask for is a link/credit). This video came out late last year, but it is somewhat amusing. So hells, lets go for it on July 4th as a public service message.

That being said, major loss of points for mentioning the craptastic “The Dirty” instead of HCwDB.