Thursday, August 26, 2010
Brad Pudt
Brad Pudt macks the serious a-list hottie huntin’ game in Austin, yo.
Just ask Eliza. She thinks his Jesus Bling and highly original tattoos are the raddest thing this side of the electronic bull down at “Dave’s Rodeo.”
Alls I can tell you, Eliza, is don’t make Brad Pudt point.
For he will point.
Again, I used to hump guys like that when I was in prison.
Vomit. And her acid-washed, high-rise skirt is double vomit. I gotta go lay down.
Nice handle bar chodestache and three finger ring. What’s that for donkey punching other inmates, Brad?
GET OUT YOUR FUCCEN CHECKBOOK!!!
Nothing says Texas badass like drinking a tangerita and wearing Sister Mary Margaret’s holy cross. I smell a weekly contestant … and it smells like dung.
Is that a holster for his mobile phone? Also, I agree with an earlier observation about the acid-washed denim as worn by his cock holster. Is there anything worse than acid-washed denim? Yes, double (acid washed) denim – as in a skirt/jeans & jacket ensemble. Double denim in any shade is appalling. In acid-wash it’s a crime against humanity.
He got the Nick Swisher look going for him. Autodouche.
I thought Denim Jeans died in the 80’s. Maybe that was shorts, not skirts.
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Judging from Brad’s drink, Mr. White needs very badly to start hydrating.
Brad has a triple cross-finger ring to use in pleasuring Eliza.
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Eliza has a double cross-finger ring to use in pleasuring Brad.
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It won’t be long before they have to swap.
Lollygagging as a vocation. If you collect enough cans from the neighbor’s recycle bins on trash day, you can afford Supercuts and gas station bling.
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You didn’t invent Gatorade and vodka, Brad.
Brad looks like he could use a high colonic.
we are in the presence of a paradigm here, of someone’s inner dullness being entirely manifest in their outer appearance. deep down inside this lumpen jackinapes is shallow, an actual challenge for his companion who’s succulent exterior contains the psychic equivalent of hanging chad
It’s James Shatfield, lead guitarist for Shitallica.
The cool thing about acid washed denim is that when you jizz on it, the stain blends right in.
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He’s a fuccen punchworthy turd burgler.
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Boss, we’s needs some pear up in this bitch. The douche threat level has been code red for the last two weeks and my penis is withered from fear and abandonment.
Speaking of gagging, Harpoonian Cartoonian and his shitty website, TheDirty.com got pummeled in a slander lawsuit by a Cinci Bengals cheerleader to the tune of $11 million. El Prez at Barstool Sports.com is besides himself with glee.
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Story / Photos
As Eliza smiled dutifully for the camera Brad quietly attempted to retrieve his “deposit” from her purse only to have his efforts foiled when his five knuckle ring became snagged on the upside down corduroy triangle of her Guess jeans.
Brad’s thring reads in Aramaic, “cum on my moustache you big coccked bastard.”
Eliza, meet wax. You apply it to the lower portion of your fivehead in order to deforest those caterpillars above your eyes. No hot chick = fail.
Jean shorts may have died in the 80s, but their acid-washed zombie cousins live on.
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I can’t tell if the fact that Eliza’s head is as big as her torso is arousing or horrifying. Horrousing?
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@darksock
I don’t need no stinkin’ liquids. Brad’s drink here is just part of my marathon. I’m trying to see if I can get so dry that my special sauce has the consistency of toothpaste.
If only he had something propping his eyes wide open, something as strong as the gel propping his curly tresses up like li’l flames comin’ off seared steak tatare.
Symbolic gestures repeat themselves in the matching visuals of Bradpudt’s squared off mustache and triplecross ring, which horrifically echo an even flatter horizontal line: his eyes.
One can only wonder what other horizontal lines emerge from the Pudt, hidden away, sight unseen, untill called forth by his muse Eliza.
Looks like Brad Pitt and Bencio del Torro had a butt baby and squirted this dude out.
@ Vin:
You can get sued talking shit about people on teh interwebs? Hm. Interesting.
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This fine young gentleman and his lovely companion certainly look splendid in this photo, do they not? Wellll, gotta go…….
Brad’s really let himself go. I mean REALLY let himself go. And no, I don’t mean Brad Pitt. I mean this guy. Dude, you’re like a caricature… of yourself.
She: parting my monobrow is finally paying off – a person of XY persuasion will talk to me. OR at least grunt!
He: Grunt. Can I keep the vomit down long enough to get through this picture. Fuck, I gottta hurl…
Let’s hope these two never get married. Their kids would have foreheads as big as Chad Kroeger’s.
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I never knew that harmonica rings existed. Who sells them? What keys/pitches do they come in? I’m getting a sudden mental image of Neil Young and Bruce Willis locked in a violent struggle over this guy’s ring. Oooohhhh, look at the pretty pink mist as they try to use a bar stool and and his rosary to cut his hand off…
Uh, this guy has a mullet and a faux hawk. WTF should we call it? A mulhawk? A fauxlet? Help me out here.
Hmm, I think I’ve seen this guy at the Candy Cat in Chatsworth before. And she probably “dances” there as well.
@Dr. BH ^12:45
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I’m told her muff farts in the key of B-sharp and that when Brad moves his fingers fast enough it sounds like she’s yodeling MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech.
kenny powers aint got nothin on this guy
To his credit he doesn’t appear to be a body shaver as his arm tats are quite furry. Which probably only means they’ve cut out overtime at the Put-n-Putt.
“Pudt’s my name, garage door installation is my game!”
He is weak alright! I was pretending to be cool like, in 1984…
1987 called and they want their acid washed jeans back.
Doesn’t he have a Village People audition to go to?
As an Austin resident, I feel inclined to defend my city. No, I’m just joking; let’s burn this mother to the fucking ground and sow salt in the ruins. And this was such a nice city, once.
looks like both of their plastic surgeries were fucked up.
I tell you what I’d do………….two chicks at the same time……
This chode definately has a favourite WWE Wrestler.
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3invited