Thursday, August 5, 2010
Hardpocalypse Now
“I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet.
Weeks away and hundreds of feet into a club that snaked through suburbia like a main circuit cable plugged straight into douchebaggery.
It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Ed Hardy memory any more than being back in douche land was an accident.
There is no way to mock Ed Hardy without mocking my own. And if his story really is a about overpriced and ridiculous t-shirts, then so is mine.”
— Col. Willard Putz
To the gas chamber.
Wow. That’s quite a reference.
This is either some sort of alternate douchiverse, or an HCwDB-themed Ed Hardy Party making light of the douche. So the douchosity may be staged. Either way, the damages to the retina are real.
A new trend in the world of douches is to have parties in elevators.
I would like to set fire to the gentlemen with the hat on in the left of the picture.
In closing I would like to set fire to the taint of the chick in the orange using my genitals as a match.
Haha that one beer is going to get colder than the others, dumbass.
Douche on the left reminds me, somehow, of Keith Richards. I must be quite unwell this morning.
**warmer, who’s the dumbass now?
@Eliza^
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You’re cracking me up.
You have to have men who are swole… and at the same time who are able to crush pussy without feeling… without passion… without an erection… without an erection! Because it’s erections that defeat us.
@ Douche Ellington
To stage douche is ever bit as bad as the real thing.
As stated by the late Mockma Gandhi:
“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on mocking the douchebag. Any compromise on mere mock is a surrender. For it is all give and no take. “
Nah, drop some napalm on ’em. I love the smell of napalm, it’s the smell of victory!
I favor the girl in the orange T not wearing any pants.
The little person is a celebrity right?
Captain Skidmark and the Bleeth Patrol defending our FREEDOM with his sidekick, Zanzibar Buck Buck McFate.
Hardy? Hardy don’t douche.
Of all the shocking douchebaggery on this site, the one thing that never ceases to amaze me is the consistent bad taste in beer these douches exhibit.
That, and the fact that hot chicks gravitate to them.
The horror. The horror.
“The whorers…the whorers….”
“Schlubs in an Elevator” by Aerodouche
I am surprised at the lack of commentary on that most douche of head wear, the pork pie hat. Usually seen in a colour that luridly clashes with the rest of the douche ensemble – and considering that same ensemble is often Ed Hardy that’s a clash of the most lurid – not to mention it’s mostly worn indoors.
Are those Ed Hardy beer coozies?
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The End really is neigh.
We need to find the most ridiculous Ed Hardy decorated item in the world, so we know what the bottom of the barrel is. Ed Hardy beer cozies has to be right up there.
…on another note, some dude just got elected to the Supreme Court.
All I see are easy targets.
-Nail Bomb
“I love the smell of AXE body spray in the morning…it smells like…taint.”
Deltus: I saw an Ed Hardy washable cotton feminine napkin once but damned if I can find it on teh interwebs now…
Ed Hardy cooleeze? I must be living under a rock, now I shall crush my head with it.
My first ex- wife used surplus industrial strength oil skimmers for feminine napkins.
–
And I use the term “feminine” loosely.
Somebody’s been hitting the clearance bin at Ross & TJ Maxx
Taint on left looks like Andy Dick in a Harpo wig..
Into the Heart of Douchness indeed!! This looks staged and by a group of hipsters trying to be ironic.
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Yes there are such things as Ed hardy beer coozies.
http://www.amazon.com/Hardy-Tattoo-Coozie-Koozie-Cooler/dp/B002NN6SRQ
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@Claude Douchenburg said…
“I favor the girl in the orange T not wearing any pants.” I couldn’t agree more.
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@Claude Douchenburg said…
The little person is a celebrity right? Looks like a mini Ron Jeremy
I don’t know if it has to do with being laid up for a week with a sprained ankle or what, but this picture makes me want to give up … everything. Going to start drinking now. Fuck this world.
People like this are the reason we smoke weed.
My horse agrees with Amerigo Vesdouchey, the end really is “neigh.”
Ed Hardy feminine napkins aside, hows about cotton Hardy-designed diapers….or even yet,a real hot-water bottle douchebag decorated with Hardy dragons and skulls…for those days the ass is draggin’ and the migraine headaches are outta control…from observing extreme site douchery here.
WTF are those Ed Hardy tall can drink huggies?! This is the apocalypse.
“Newark…shit I’m still only in Newark.”
if puke comes out of those cans, you wouldn’t be able to separate the puke from the cans.
“Your mission is to doucheinate Colonel Putz.”
“Doucheinate?”
“With extreme Hardyness.”
They sure are proud of their stupid beer coolers. I’m so glad they have their priorities in order.
Oh yeah… The f%#ktard on the left is really pushing pretty much all the douchebuttons in one beautifully captured fraction of a second. And from what I can see of the Hotts, I could easily be persuaded to ‘go thither,’ as they say. I’m hoping to get in on the ground floor of the Ed Hardy doilies & lobster bibs.
Midget? Black Lodge!! Get out, Cooper!!!