Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tommy Pudwack

Tommy Pudwack rules the ladies of the 12th grade Senior Dance at Westlake.

His parents may be, like, a doctor and a lawyer, but he’s keepin’ it real regardless. Cuz he gots mad game, yo!

Michelle, Maria and Marnie giggle like schoolgirls. Then they have pillowfights and rub each other with peach marmalade.

And on a semi-unrelated note, for the football fans among us, here’s last year’s Brett Favre Douchebag of the Month award writeup. Still applies.

# posted by douchebag1
1:45 pm August, 19 Blinded by the Shite said...

Thank God I’m a country boy.

1:50 pm August, 19 Red Headed Woman said...

Amen. I genuinely hate Favre for being a douche and the press for highlighting and encouraging his douchey behavior. Admittedly, today I hate everyone, but I really do hate Favre every day.

1:58 pm August, 19 Crucial Head said...

My lips agape would provide an excellent toilet seat for that there brunette.
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Just sayin’.

1:59 pm August, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Uh Boss, where is Tommy hiding? I only see four chicks here and the one on the far left is REALLY ugly. Can anyone decipher what looks to be a haiku on the second chick from the right? My newfangled Apple IIe monitor gets kinda pixelated after a 2x magnification.
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Oh and fucck Brett “Pay attention to me!” Favre. He doesn’t even play real football anyway.

2:00 pm August, 19 creature said...

sorry Boss, gonna have to disagree with ya on this one… dumbass country cracker for sure, but, badass football player… still yet to miss a start due to injury

2:03 pm August, 19 BagA said...

Damn! He may be a d-bag (I wonder if that’s his “Oh Face” hat?), but he sure can pick a sweet outdoor party! I never remember hot chicks walking around in their bras at any of the parties I went too…..

But I fantasized about those kind of parties. Yes. Yes, I did!

2:03 pm August, 19 creature said...

^ Favre, that is… kid deserves to be neutered

2:04 pm August, 19 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Michelle better have the bottle-shaped tumor looked at before it turns into something serious.

2:05 pm August, 19 Claude Douchenburg said...

Thank G_d Tommy is wearing underwear. I am also thankful for the girls showing us their underwear as well.

2:18 pm August, 19 soy bomb said...

When are they? Apocalypse Now?

2:24 pm August, 19 creature said...

Disnryland parade celebrates Teen Herpes Night….
now I’m gonna have to bike to my favorite beach bar, The Poop Deck… no really!

2:25 pm August, 19 creature said...

uh…DisnEyland…doh!

2:27 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

I must dissent about Mr. Favre. Besides being the only 60 year old to ever start for the NFL, he got beat on like Neal Peart’s snare drum by the Almighty Saints last year and still kept coming back, like a horny Maltese to his owner’s beloved argyle-sock-clad-shin.
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I nominate douche status to the attending rabid as fuck self-perpetuating media circus instead. I blame them for carpet bombing the airwaves forcing my involuntary knowledge of the Gosselin’s sordid affairs as well.

2:27 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than a salt-blasted clitoris.

2:28 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than a drunken PMS-ing Goth chick after flunking her Jenny Craig weigh-in.

2:29 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than the root meat dangling from an incisor freshly snapped into with pliers. With canned air being sprayed upside down at it.

2:29 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than Plinky when we start cracking on his Mom. Who is so big she shits in 8 hour shifts.

2:30 pm August, 19 soy bomb said...

Creature, I’ve been to the Deck that is Poop many a time in Hermosa. Great place to get annihilated on the cheap. Cheers!

2:32 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than Taylor Swift when black dudes run up to her.

2:34 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Tommy Pudwack is more sensitive than a gay porn star’s dong after the habanero/cayenne chili catered lunch.

2:35 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Speaking of recycling repetitive jokes, I’m digging on middle Hott’s fellatio handlebars.

2:50 pm August, 19 skrag2112 said...

This photo is like Sesame Street.
“One of these things is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
before I finish my song?”
Well kids, did you guess its the pudfucker with the saggy pants and derp face?
You’re right!

2:56 pm August, 19 Anonymous said...

Why r u saying so hurtful thinkgs about Clint!?!?!? If u new him like I do u would now he is the coolest. He plays football and treats all the girls nice. OMG U old people need to stop hating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:00 pm August, 19 Anonymous said...

Baggy pants r hot. Especialy on Clint! Which obviusly u r not!!!!!!!!!!

3:01 pm August, 19 douche bagel said...

on the set of the new teen version of the show “the big C” dubbed “the big H”. guess what the H stands for…

3:03 pm August, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Best thing about the Poop Deck is going out the door to The Strand after being in that dark hell hole drinking your breakfast and after getting what feels like a nuclear blast of sunshine to the eyes you are smack in the middle of Hott Central.
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And the second best thing is it’s a Boston sports bar. Or was back when I went there.

3:10 pm August, 19 soy bomb said...

Well, the Poop Deck’s days are numbered, I’m afraid to report. The owner died a few years back and his kids have been trying to sell off the property (along with Mermaid and Good Stuff). I guess they were totally crushed by the inheritance tax and are desperate to be rid of the properties. At one point the asking price was $27 mil, but I’m sure it’s gone down since then.

3:19 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

Fuck it, let’s buy it.

3:25 pm August, 19 Vin Douchal said...

The Mermaid is out though. Too high falutin’ We’ll take the ‘Deck and Good Stuff

3:26 pm August, 19 soy bomb said...

SAVE THE POOP DECK!!! Where else can one both poop and ogle hotts at the same time?
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.
.
.
.
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Wait. Don’t answer that.

3:26 pm August, 19 douche bagel said...

tommy and the giggle sisters pose for bead night at the arts and crafts festival. tommy was nearly caught with his pants down while inserting the rest of the giggle sisters larger beaded creations in his anus

3:30 pm August, 19 douche bagel said...

me loves the poop deck too

3:49 pm August, 19 DarkSock said...

We’ll make it a gay bar and rename it the Poop Dick. Keep it the same, just double the drink prices.

3:52 pm August, 19 Fatness said...

I’m likin’ Marnie’s nip reveal.
.
Would like to be lickin’ Michelle. All over.
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Would pay money to be kickin’ Tommy’s nads down Fourth St.

3:59 pm August, 19 Horny the Clown said...

An outdoor underwear party with Brady Quinn. The blondie on the far right needs to drop the rest of her laundry. Threw that nancyboy jocko homo football player reference in there for the jocksniffers to get their favorite teams underoos in a twist.

4:04 pm August, 19 Vin Douchal said...

@ Darksockk @ 3:49

Great idea. Plus the Boston sports theme can stay in place at a gay bar. Easily

4:08 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tommy Lee’s retarded son has started a new teen band, Mott the Douche and Underage Friends. Dirty thoughts go away.

4:08 pm August, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of boarderline legal babes.

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Busted Coverage.com has photos of the chick that got hit by the foul ball in Atlanta when her douchebag date stepped out of the way.
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She’s really cute

4:09 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Rumor has it he is hung like Dark Sock.

4:13 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Foul Ball girl is awesome. Dirty thoughts go away, just go away. Damn you Vin Douchal I have to look at that again.

4:17 pm August, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Sweet Mother Of Mercy I just sinned in my shorts. How could Bo bail on that. We need natural girls like that in porn.

4:25 pm August, 19 Fatness said...

Who says fame doesn’t drop out of the sky and bonk you in the noggin’?

4:44 pm August, 19 mr.reeve said...

I guess Bo is dumber than we all thought. Nice find Vin.
Favre is one tough son of a bitch. ESPN makes him look bad with all their over hyped coverage. F*ck ESPN. They have become the TMZ of the sports world.
Tommy is a skate boarding shit stain.

4:49 pm August, 19 Wedgie said...

Chuck the belt. Get some suspenders.

Dick.

5:15 pm August, 19 Sack O Douche said...

^Yeah, I’d like to take that belt and wrap it around his Puwacking little throat and pull until he turns pruple. The dark hair girl deserves better. The other two skanks do not.

5:18 pm August, 19 scrotum pole said...

Dr. Bunsen was right, that is a haiku on Maria’s belly.
And, since I won’t be here tommorow morning, (damn it) best I can tell, it reads thus:

I feel Marnie’s hand,
Sliding toward my strech waistband,
I’m becoming moist.

5:33 pm August, 19 creature said...

I’m with Soy & ‘Sock, let’s buy the Poop Deck… shine the gay bar thing, but it’s a goldmine… takes significant amounts of my disposable income… now it’s on to Panchos… walking distance & tequila, yah!

5:34 pm August, 19 creature said...

& as for tommy pudknocker, a knee drop to the larnyx would relieve us all

5:38 pm August, 19 creature said...

@ Vin… yeah there’s still some beantown kooks there

5:41 pm August, 19 creature said...

^ not as bad as Fat Face Fenner’s Falloon on Pier, total Celtic shithead joint

5:42 pm August, 19 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I can’t believe that waffling has now become a douchal indicator.
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Well, I guess I can, given the evidence.
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Damn it NO! Favre is awesome. Would that we could all be the best in our field and be able to work under our own terms.
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But then again, I dunno…
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F*ck it. I need a beer.
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.
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Or maybe some wine.

6:10 pm August, 19 Snoop Douchey Bagg said...

Mmmm…..Barely Legal……

Go away Brett, you’re act is older than you are.

6:47 pm August, 19 creature said...

w/Scrotato… the Boss is wrong here… Favre=1st rate QB… idiot, meh… notta!

6:48 pm August, 19 creature said...

back to our previously scheduled tequila!

9:03 pm August, 19 mr.reeve said...

^ No thanks cookienihui. My wife would get really angry with me.
The name Tommy Pudwack makes me laugh more and more after every beer.

9:20 pm August, 19 Steve L. said...

just when we were talking about high school girls, SUGARMOMMY comes along…
that’s a moral dilemma all right.
a moral dilemma that’s best resolved by beating Tommy over the head with a spiked femur.

9:35 pm August, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ cookienihui
No thanks. I’ll just masturbate in front of a mirror and then buy myself a pair of shoes. I’m my own Sugar Mommy AND daddy. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
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I only wish Grandpa Oblongata was still around. I think I would show him this website. He was classic for ranting and raving about doing terrible shit to kids walking around dressed like idiots. One time, he was going off about this kid walking around in sub-zero temps with his bright red mohawk up, no hat, no earmuffs, scarf, whatever. Grandpa declared, “I wanted to grab that dumb son of a bitch by the ears and stuff him head first in a snowbank!” Ah, Gramps, we need ‘baghunters like you. I can only imagine what he’d say about this pudwank.

9:43 pm August, 19 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr White
.
The Jayhawks had a little reunion in Minneapolis last month. No further tour announcment yet but , damn they sound good.
.

10:23 pm August, 19 Dicy said...

Why does this pic strongly remind me of a Colgate ad?

10:49 pm August, 19 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Tommy Pudwank is about as douche as they get for such a young age just because he has multiple signifiers, the worst being the underwear “fly reveal.” May a Baltimore Oriole peck him with tatts of Oprah, Obama and Oblongata and slather him with trademark orange for good measure, while disassembling his jewelry, trading it to a shady Raven for a bat to whack himself, and making a hanging nest out of his baseball cap.

May someone rescue those hotts from the oblivion of hanging with a douchebag while exposing their own underwear. The Grieco virus was never so contagious.

10:50 pm August, 19 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Pudwank, Pudwack, same difference, aaaaaccckkkk!!!!

6:17 am August, 20 Mr. White said...

@vin
Nice. I got to see Gary Louris and Mark Olson play in Carnegie Hall when they were doing their thing. Fantastic. And we sat in front of Richard Gere and his hot wife.

8:16 am August, 20 Captain Garanichode said...

Looks like a Twilight convention gone bad. I’s for Team HOTT

8:25 am August, 20 Captain Garanichode said...

Noooo…. Don’t say it;s true… No more about Douch and betty… No Close the Poo Deck or the Mermaid. That was the only place a 18 year old could score a beer back in the early 90’s. Great Hott attraction area.

10:42 am August, 20 Stephanie said...

This looks like an ad for a mad slasher flick,where the kids all die one by one,at summer camp. And Tommy Pud is the first to go.

2:01 pm August, 20 anonymous said...

I KNOW THAT GUY! bahahahaha

7:11 pm August, 20 Fatness said...

We’d be more impressed if you knew the girl standing next to him…

10:21 pm August, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

Let’s take up a collection and buy this kid a belt. Then use whatever is leftover to get me out of the country ’til those girls turn 18.

11:46 am August, 24 Anonymous said...

RAVE KIDS