Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday Haiku
Captain Cavepud flies!
Sharon lost a bet with Kate,
Must steal underoos.
Stan uses rent check,
Visits Las Vegas brothel,
Has to hitch hike home.
— Devon Wheatcakes
Texdouche disproves myth:
“All things in Texas are big.”
All hat, no cattle.
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
Incredible Dolt
Busts out of his Hardy clothes
Forgot the sunblock
— Poultry Turd
Cowboy Zack gears up
Long, hard cattle drive ahead
Down stairs to the pool.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
As the summer wanes,
bugs begin dying, but douche
still molts the Axe layer.
— Wheezer
Montana cowboy,
Performs groin shave with sheep shears,
Shears off his weenus.
— scrotum pole
Midnight Cowboy Fail,
Big city dreams lost in the aether
The future is bleak
— Et Tu Douche?
Incredible Dolt
Busts out of his Hardy clothes
Forgot the sunblock
GSR Cowboy
Should be strangled with his cape.
To leave only Hott.
Cavepud Choad Sports Spotty Shorts
Marginal Hott Inquires
How did I get here?
Marginal Hott Inquires
Cavepud Choad Sports Spotty Shorts
How did I get here?
EA Sports undies,
“cowboy” hat over ‘danna;
hey, it’s in the shame.
Hott has hidden star.
I’d like to tat her bum too.
And tat his face, “D”
Bildo trys on cloaking suit
Brenda see right through
Stiil had small penis
Spell check please on aisle 4
Stan uses rent check,,
Visits Las Vegas brothel,
Has to hitch hike home.
Bildo trys on cloaking suit
Brenda sees right through
Still has small penis
Green towel as cape?
Drinkin’ too many Bud Lime’s;
stop with the trends, bro.
SonnyChibaChoad
Can’t count for shit this morning
withdraws from haiku
He’s the space cowboy.
But some people call Maurice
the gangster of Douche.
I’m not feelin’ it.
Smiling dude doesn’t offend;
he’s just goofing off.
Douche super heroe,
Thinks he can fly with that cape.
Please jump out window!
Wanna see ass pear!
Side view not bad, but blocked by
bottoms, rotation.
Ties towel around neck,
Walks into hotel bathroom,
Swings from shower rod.
More pics from bathroom;
the lighting’s better in there,
and it’s home for poo.
Name brand undie poke
means he could embrace the scrote;
just hard stage -1 now.
Oh, give me a home,
Where the buffalo (beast) roam,
Skies….. smoggy all day.
Bikini hott thinks,
“Should I take off top, don cape?”
My answer: “Damn right!”
Oh my, the horror
Maybe Colonel Kurtz was right
Fuccen kill them all.
^What, too much anger?
It’s because I’m a hatter
Douchebags bother me.
Spice up bedroom time
With role playing; once tied up
He’ll be Butt Plug Man
Texdouche disproves myth:
“All things in Texas are big.”
All hat, no cattle.
Make believe cowboy
How we do it in Camden
Rides a bull named “Steve”
Las Vegas hooker,
Thinks back to childhood,
“How’d it come to this?”
Kenny Chesney choad
Knows all Nickelback lyrics
Finger holds back barf
Cause he’s a grinner
He’s a joker, he’s a big
fat…what…Douchebag? What?
It’s a bird! A plane!
A speedo loco motive
About to jump her
Pic taken at six?
Too soon to be so greased up.
It’s from yesterday?????
Las Vegas Hooker,
Reflects back on her childhood,
“How’d it come to this?”
Steve auditions for
W.W.F.;
But gets “WTF?”.
Overdone cowpoke
Stolen towel from ReHab
Makes scrote gods angry
As the summer wanes,
bugs begin dying, but douche
still molts the Axe layer.
Steve’s great solution
For his running backne sores:
Momma’s beach towel.
We’ve been here before
And all us haters agree
NO MORE BUD LITE LIME
Cowboy tells hooker,
“Get along little doggie.”
Hooker buys daschund.
^ I’ll be here all week.
Dixie Chicks concert
Alabama douche and Bleeth
Get tanked on Zima’s
Lone Doucher smiles
Hi-Ho Sharon run pronto
Tonto weeps for us
Hott sniffs her finger
God only knows where it’s been
Do I smell Prep-H?
Know why they’re smiling?
Both are keestering dildos
Shaped like Peter North
If I’d seen Brokeback,
I’d have a better line than:
“He just can’t quit poo.”
Douche dressed for film role
in Gizzum, a bad remake.
And John Wayne vomits.
Warm day in Jersey
Does not stop this fey douchebag
From gay dress-up games
Montana cowboy,
Performs groin shave with sheep shears,
Shears off his weenus.
If she bends over,
you’re still going home with just
a fistful of cockk.
“Mom, meet my boyfriend”
Parents grab kitchen knife set
Four dead, film at five
Brett Michaels in the
Good, the Bad, and the Lobster.
Clint Eastwood implodes.
^^Vin, have weather girls
do that lead story; I’d move
to LA to watch.
Shy Bleeth with coy smile
Agrees to photo with Chad
Loses job Monday
If I went 8 secs
Riding her bareback, I’d set
Personal record.
With such a DoucheBag
Sharon ponders stealing cape
to fly home forever.
Douchey Cowboy brags:
“I don’t need a dang saddle!
I like it bareback!”
I mean these hotties;
note no uppercase letters!
Yeah, nice save, Wheezer…..
No mention of thighs
Looks like ’70’s era
Buff Schwarzenegger
Dude, it’s okay to
Borrow your mom’s sunglasses
But leave her hat home
Porn star, Ream Autrey,
Fights lifelong battle with clap,
The “Stinging Cowboy.”
Would you be surprised
If, on top of all this crap
He had clown shoes on?
Cowboy wax a lot
Has been called a biant twat
Kimmy has ass
Giant not biant!
The new Broke Back Mountain
Starring Lance Suck Him Off Wells
Kimberly wants a HIV test
Lance once tried out for
Role as a fluffer for gay porn
I don’t know why Kimmy stays
Jen asks Super Douche:
“Shouldn’t you go fight some crime?”
“After this Bud Lime!”
Kimmy always knew she was
I gal pal to the queens of We Ho
Lance gets more sausage than Farmer John
Jon Bon’s a cowboy,
and on a “steel horse” he rides;
raided her sock drawer.
If Prep H really
shrinks hemorrhoidal tissue,
we shouldn’t see him.
Cowboy Zack gears up
Long, hard cattle drive ahead
Down stairs to the pool.
She’d always been told
“They Grow ’em big in Texas”
Zack is from Des Moines.
Midnight Cowboy Fail,
Big city dreams lost in the aether
The future is bleak
Cowboy douche is sad,
Chose shorts over assless chaps,
Lost role in gay porn
Ve must obey rules!
Breaking rules is verbotten!
No soup for you
Reed!
Chad heard “Cowboy Up!”
Kevin Millar retired; so
should douchebaggery.
Roy’s horse was Trigger
The Lone Ranger rode Silver
He calls his “Kia”
New superhero
Vigilantly fights crime and
Spreads hepatitis.
Capes are for flying
But If we threw him off ledge
I think he’d just bounce
beach blanket dingo
his base tan not yet complete
richard petty weeps
Why does this ‘bag
look like he has olive oil on?
Oh, that’s not olive oil
I understand the
cowboy hat affectation:
he wants to be bucked.
Hopalong Assidy.
Self esteem torn and frayed,
Sharon picks her teeth
All lubed up and ready
For a night of gay bar hopping w/ Kimmy
Kimmy hopes for three way
Myself eight oh six,
What I really meant to say,
No soup for you, Reeve!
Cowboy flunkie macks on hott,
Her regret self evident,
Faux giggle hides shame
Mr. Reeve is off.
Counting with fingers and toes.
Too many Bud Limes?
Only steers and queers
come from Texas. Amy knows
he is lacking horn.
“He’s put on hat and
cape. Will he also jump out
window for poontang?”
Hi Ho SilverPud
Mint Choco Panties got me
Beating that dead horse
side of beef
shows all teeth
country bleeth
Eco-green caped-bag,
neither wrangler nor Super-
man. Nietzsche cringes.
What’s this, a polka
dot contest? Gimme a bot-
tle of Spot Shot, NOW!
Those Michigan State
parties are so out-of-line
these days. Sparty’s douched.
Anne of Green Gables,
Bleethed in bikini with caped
douchebag at hand, grins.
Hear! Hear! Captain Super Douche deserves recognition and praise for being able to tie a towel in a knot.
Cape of Good Hope had
just become Cape of Douche. don’t
know what that means. fuck.