Friday Thoughts and Links
Your humble narrator is spending this Friday in meditative repose.
The city of angels weeps for the stupid people. But I don’t. I mock them. With you. Together we mock. And the world clarifies a little sharper into focus, even as the blurring of age hazes the margins.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB Gamer Pick of the Week: Would you kindly?
Cheers to Australia! The Aussies continue to lead the War On Ed Hardy with a major victory scored. Now stop watching all those crappy British soap opera imports. EastEnders is for tossers.
The actual Ed Hardy gets respect from UCLA and academia. And the ghosts of Adorno and Horkheimer weep.
The Daily Show goes to Staten Island, finds ‘bags, Bleeths and Yankee Caps. The great Wyatt Cenac investigates.
Proto-douches in History: Butch from The Little Rascals.
Yom Kippur is here. I must atone for all my sinful thoughts involving Mila Kunis, a bottle of Jergens, a rubber cheese grater and a small Armenian midget named Antran watching, handing out towels and making sarcastic wisecracks the entire time.
At last Sunday’s Video Music Awards on MTV, Kanye West unveiled his new song, Lets Have a Toast For the Douchebags. I’d like to think last year’s award had something to do with it.
Speaking of pop stars, flash-in-the-pan 2004 one hit wonder John Mayer quits Twitter. He’s taking his bandwidth and going home. And is still a douchebag.
I find Katie Perry as boring and neutered of reality as reading the Washington Post, but I can no longer deny the power of boobies. They are pavlovian pull, even as she continues to offer the blank genericism of castrated pop pablum.
Justin Bieber is the most annoying teen starlet since Gidget.
And this week, as per a reader request, instead of the glories of Ass Pear, you get a special three-treat of side boob gloriousness. Enjoy:
Peek-a-boob in the park.
Peek-a-boob at the beach.
Peek-a-boob by a tree, art style.
Enjoy. Go forth. Conquer. Sip Night Train.
first fuckers
Anonymousdouche?
Now if Anonymous has said “fist fuckers’ I would have known for certain he was talking about us. But seriously I think the first fuckers were actually Adam and Eve.
.
Or a cocktail of hypersexual primordial ooze that hooked up on Facebook.
.
No idea what I’m saying.
three glorious boobie pics. Thanks, DB1, I hope you and all my fellows from the worldwide army of douche-mock enjoy your weekend.
And for not paying his employees while making he and his cronies at the top get their Australian cut, Ed Hardy gets a steely shank to the base of his yellow spine. Speaking for my company, we lost almost a quarter of our volume in 2009 and when you’re in the mining industry volume is everything. Don’t move enough product, and there’s no money left over to grow the business and provide for the future. BUT, during that time we made some very tough decisions. A series of short term hourly employee layoffs (paid for all benefits during those periods and recalled EVERY employee), and laid off a small number of salaried positions. But we never requested that any of our unions make concessions, AND we managed to provide pay raises to all employees in 2009 and 2010.
.
You f*cking take care of your people. You always, ALWAYS pay them first.
.
And this from an HR guy who hates people.
.
Boss, thanks much for the sideboob. The sides of my cockk are extremely happy.
Somewhere in that pic, I suspect you’ve carefully hidden a red Walhawk, but I can’t find it because I’m staring at the vortex of the girl on the right. Those lowkinis drive me crazy!
That fauxhawk dude is the barista at my local SuperSonic car wash. Nobody keeps the recycled milk jugs full of Folgers better than him. And to think he wanted to be a writer for the New Yorker.
Pfft. Literchur is for homos.
Side boob is good. But it is not PEAR. Although this week was full of pear and hotts.
Fuck you UCLA, no wonder your football team blows We Ho tranny cockk.
You Anon assholes are annoying me with your “first” and calling people losers for visiting the same website you do. FUCK OFF!
@ Mr. Scrotato Head: what’s Folgers and how is it used by a barista?
As the late, great, Paul Hogan said, “Where the bloody hell’s me wonga?!”
I want to start a movement to get more Peek-a-Boob. I say Friday should contain equal boob to ass ratio. The tit fans of the world have been held down for long enough!
Mr Reeve, don’t you remember a time when you were a lonely anan? I do.
9th Fuckers!
Oh, I just searched Folgers. It’s a coffee. Duh, tall guy!
Tree Boob face appears to be molting. Similar to Justin Bieber and Kanye’s vaginas.
I propose a 3-way split between boob, arse and lowkinis. Mmmm, lowkinis.
Asspear is good. Asspear combined with sideboob is good. Sideboob without asspear is not good.
Mila Kunis is so tiny her she uses her voice to grate potatoes.
Her family has a long tradition of breaking the Yom Kippur fast with corned porch beef hash. Kosher of course.
Katie Perry… hello manufactured craptasticly awful shit stain of an “artist.”
slowwwww week. maybe a celebrity can die next week and there could be an explosion that sets a house on fire during frosh kegger. and perhaps kanye can get caught in a paparazzi expose with a transexual prostie’s cock in his mouth.
For Mr Reeve:
.
Striped Pear
.
The rest of her photos
Lämp?
Years of fatty foods, onion rings and Old Milwaukee, together with the relentless pull of gravity have moved my wife’s side boob to within a few inches of her ass pear, which saves a lot of moving around during foreplay.
Righto, I’m out for the weekend. According to reports we have massive swell hittting our shores over the next few days so I’m off to the beach to check ’em out. My sprained ankle prevents me getting amongst it though. Which is probably a good thing. Saturdays and Sundays attracts surferbags (often the most hideous type of bag) to our beaches. Surf yes. Just don’t be a bag about it. It’s not hard…
Now I know why I’m not a famous recording artist. I would NEVER have thought to rhyme the word bag with bag or off with off. Fucck, that’s brilliant! I clearly need to work on this skill. And once I have that perfected I can learn to throw like a man does and try to hit state troopers in the crotch with water balloons. Those wacky state troopers and their hilarious personalities! But I must make sure to run like a frightened little girl who just found out where hamburger REALLY comes from. Maybe my mom/bodyguard can take care of it for me. Sign me up Mr. DeMille I’m ready to be a star!
The film puts this in context with the Ed Hardy lifestyle brand that has saturated the world
.
Saturated like Plinky’s mom’s forgotten three day installed tampon. “Ooo, I’m itchy , what’s this?
“This pizza has no pepperoni on it. Where’s the protein content?”
@Douchey Lewis, I do remember and I never did the 1st thing ever.
@Vin, you are a saint. That’s good pear.
@ Mr. Reeve…Yeah I know you wouldn’t lower yourself do the stupidity of firsters…I was just trying to make them feel better. And by them I mean me, and by “firsters” I mean “fisters.”
RE Ed Hardy–“he went on to initiate tattooing’s unprecedented global popularity.”–I still maintain that this is owed FAR more to JD Crowe than to anyone else.Thankfully, the world will never see spangly JD Crowe jeans, ever.
.
Orange Meilla claims to have a one inch bust and a one inch waist. That’s a hell of a dedication to Anorexia. Makes me wanna toss out this home made strawberry tart I’m gnawing on like Christina Hendricks’ ankles.
.
Whoever that VMA announcer is…..I am going to make slippers from your lungs. You have been warned.
.
Katy Perry, I am going to make wrist cuffs from your asshole and vagina. You have been warned. That was a compliment, BTW.
.
Thank you ever so much for the pear, Vin. Although I could play Peek-A-Boob forever. And I will even the odds with sideways pear. And no, it’s not Paul Giamatti’s ass, either.
.
Have a lovely Friday eve, ‘baghunters. May the sound of fap be heard ‘cross the land….
Meilla, the model in the “Orange Kills” link, lists her ethnicity as “other.”
.
.
This country won’t be truly free, until the Pumpkin-Americans get the right to vote, damn it!
Nothing against glorious breasts, but what about the pears?
Holy Hottentots, DB1! That is one outstanding picture of Mila Kunis. With that, she just jumped to #1 on my list. (After my wife, of course – hi honey!)
I thought it was just me. I love Katy Perry. I don’t want to listen to her music nor hear her talk. I just wanted to do the naked boogaloo and mess up her make-up with my hose lotion
.
Mila Kunis? Don’t get me started. In the Sarah Marshall movie I didn’t know whether to fwap to her or that little tool Kristen Bell. So I did it twice.
.
Yay! Protein shakes
Does the absence of Lämp have more to due with the absence of ass pear or the coincidental absence of Crucial Aloysius Head?
.
I’d like to know.
.
I’d also like to know how I can sneak a 12-pack of Bud Light Lime into a screening of The Virginity Hit. You know, in case some idiot’s cell phone rings and I have to throw a bottle at the back of his head.
.
Here is a video of Justin Bieber taking a shot straight to the biscuit. A t-shirt wrapped around a water bottle OR a box of Sour Patch Kids. Likely the teenage girl that threw it was hoping the shirt would get autographed and returned to her.
.
Apparently Bieber likes him some Sour Patch Kids. They are part of his pre-concert ritual.. Isn’t that adorable? BARF. If someday I read about Bieber mainlining H before a performance, maybe I’ll give his music a chance.
.
Yes, I know that I know too much about Justin Bieber.
.
For what it’s worth, I think side-boob can stand on its own just fine.
I dunno.
.
I kinda like sideboob as a healthy change from ass pear.
.
i say we mix it up and provide plenty of both going forward!!!
.
Who seconds?
.
Motion adjourned?
.
Hear, Hear!
Seconded!
^
Or…
Here, Here!
.
douchewad!
I support the motion. The bouncy, bouncy motion…
OK
Me n Anonymous thin this is a plan.
Who adjourns this?
So my vote doesn’t count?
Meeting adjourned.
It’s all about timing, Douchey!
And you have closed this meeting!
Let’s all expect SideBoob and AssPear in the very next “Friday Thoughts and Links”
Amen.
Anybody out there play Halo Reach? My gamertag is “itsdeuce” if you want to pwn some n00bs.
While we are all talking about Katie Perry, her douchebag boyfriend was arrested today.HEH!
I long for a day when Ass Pear and Sideboob can live together in a peaceful harmony of lust and fwop! For too long they have lived disparate, solo existences. This must cease for a cockk divided against itself cannot stand. So let us bring together the boobie hott and the suckle thigh in a joyous and prolonged motorboating. Good night now!
Amen, Charles.
Get him to the Greek indeed, HE and Katy can move to the Meditteranean island Homos.
random note.
.
we must destroy the self esteem of douchebags AND ALSO, no matter how hard it is, douchebaguettes, in the same exact way they destroy the self esteem of nerds in high school.
.
That’s the single thing intelligent people can learn from them. We must take for granted that we mock them, and they suck. It has to go beyond just mocking them over the internet – it must be taken for granted in ANY interaction that they don’t deserve any sort of basic respect. They shouldn’t have rights beyond breathing and speaking to themselves. They cannot mock anyone. Noone is worse than them in this society. They’re the lowest – killing them shouldn’t be considered immoral, either.
.
I am not joking. I know someone is going to read this and understand this. For this is a (or the) key to a more healthy society. No “fascism”? No being harsh to stupid people who harm society in a way or another, directly or indirectly by their own will or not?No better society and one day no life for everyone too. “Douchebags” in the largest term AND douchebaguettes are the source of all evils. What are big corporations if not douchebags, people with excessive pride, and bullies? We have respected them for decades why? Because we feared the consequences. Intelligent people know democracy is a failure. It is time to get it over with this fuckin’ “democracy”. Go around on Facebook or youtube or generally the internet and see that the average IQ of human beings today is very close to that of a monkey. At least in Italy, I can say it is. Obviously the IQ of people commenting with hilarious comments on this site is higher…I wish they would take some responsbility TOGETHER and begin to make serious social and political impact. These are times of apathy. Intelligent peole are apathic too and don’t believe they can change anything. It doesn’t matter. For it’s a lie, sooner or later, things will change. We can’t get worse than we are today on a social chaos and injustice level. If douchebags are alive and happy, it means society must change because that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Never good people have been less comfortable in a society. All I want is for them to become EVIL once in a while against EVIL itself. THESE ARE NOT TIMES OF NON VIOLENCE. These are VIOLENT times and when GOOD PEOPLE will become violent, it’ll be a good thing. Yeah, I know it sounds wrong. But SOUNDING and BEING are two different things. So think deeply and go beyond appearance and see the truth: when good people will adoperate evil’s excellent and winning tools for gaining control of the flock, then good will get control of the flock and good will reign. Until good doesn’t do that…good will be guilty of making idiots suffucate it.
.
DB1 often mentions zen and eastern philosophy…is quite a cultured guy. I wish he would do something political. Having done a funny and not-so-serious site…is not a reason to not become VERY serious then. Drama and comedy are the same fuckin’ thing….people who think a comedian can’t kill himself out of excessive seriosity are simpletons. You can’t make quality comedy if you aren’t deeply depressed on some level.
.
Most people are simpletons. Most people are wrong. Most people are unsexy. Most people don’t desevre the best in life. Are you part of most poeple? If so, I don’t respect you. And it is your problem because see, I don’t respect you and I am masturbating meanwhile. It is a problem of YOURS if some deep and intelligent guy doesn’t respect you. It’s not that one who doesn’t respect you is ALWAYS wrong! He has his reasons! He could be right! He could have PROOFS that you don’t deserve respect, he could see things about you that you don’t see! There are many people BETTER than you in the world! More intelligent! More of a keen observer! Everyone MUST be humble. The vanity existing today in the world among stupid people and also not stupid people is unjustified and useless. Good people don’t feel the need to pride themselves and are perfectly ok with being insulted or mocked…those insults and mocks are wrong anyway! I’m anticipating people’s bloated self esteem by which they think they’re NEVER wrong. What are you, GOD?
.
FUCK YOU! Fuck douchebags and whoever doesn’t take for GRANTED that douchebags don’t REALLY deserve life. If we make them live…it’s out of convenience, not certainly because society is better with them. Respect for EVERYONE’S life is FALSE MORALITY. BECOME EVIL!
.
Now, back to the hilarious mock (most of you is better than me in this).
.
But also consider really making a change to this abomination of a world where these guys with no competence or intelligence have it easy and the best people have it hard.
.
It doesn’t have, and it will not keep going, like this.
.
I will not come back to this thread. Whoever gets it…stop thinking in terms of nerd/douchebag like a fuckin’ high school baby and as an adult, think of ways for improving society. For if you don’t nobody will.
.
For those who are pissed of understanding that I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE’S EGO…Your problem. I masturbate, always and all the time, and if I want to spit of kill you, it is your problem to convince me to do otherwise according to criteria I like to listen to while I masturbate. I do whatever I want. I am insane. And it’s YOUR problem. I am very happy to be insane; the purpose of life is being insane and NOT havign a job and NOT succumbing to a spread out scrotal empire. I don’t succumb. I will kill douchebags one day. I think I have the freedom to take idiot’s lives. .
Your problem. Try to protect your life. For I will never listen to you. Who are you, God? I am myself’s God. You are inferior to me according to myself. My God is myself, not you. I will always trust my brain much more than yours, because I have complete esteem and trust of what my brain is capable of. I have none of yours unless you work ten years to prove it deserves that.
.
I can contradict myself. You can’t. Look: I just did. Look: you don’t. I can and you can’t. I contradict myself therefore I can do it, and you don’t becuase you think it’s a good idea. Slave of stupidity you are. Stupid rules and conventions make you think you’re alright. What if you are not alright…
.
I know that one guy will read this, and get some excellent idea out of this. But beware: me moderate. Just do what God tells you. Because it’s fuckin obvious that there’s a God who tells you what to do. Even if it is you. And atheists are stupid. Atheists can never make a better society no matter their IQ.
.
I don’t read replies, atheists, so get lost and suck God’s dick. Which is my dick according to my view of life by which I am God (just as much as you could be if you hadn’t decided to be limited and stupid) and you are stupid. You are deluded and I’m balanced. I know the truth and you don’t. Who am I, God? Yes. Who are you, God? don’t make me laugh. I recognize a God from the way he relates to other people based on objectivity and justice, and not his caprices nobody gives a fuck about. Almost noone today is a God, therefore you’re not at 99%.
.
yeah, yeah. Think that I’m in drugs or something. Shrugs. You have no power over your dick, how can you have power over anything else.
.
get lost idiots, and good luck to the others. This is my two cents, I hope it makes you think and motivates you.
.
Always ignore idiots: they don’t exist. They’re illusion.
All deep wisdom sounds like madness. Herman Hesse.
^ OK fine, but where do you stand on ass pear vs side boob?
ID,
I’m with you brother. Sanity is overated. Our society has placed a disproportionaly high value on self-governance, homicide statutes and non-violent behavior, while ignoring masturbation, facism and high-fructose corn syrup.
Atheism is nothing more than an odorous gym bag full of soiled tube sox, and when The Supreme Atomic Power speaks to me, he does so with the authority of a pastry chef with mild constipation.
He spefically directs me to lust after ass-pear, side boob, Ny-quil and German Potato Salad.
Which brings me back to Herman Hesse, who also said, in a moment of brutal honesty, “I say no to drugs, but they just don’t listen.”
Wow, this is the first Friday Thoughts and Links that has led me straight to the commenting box, and it’s all thanks to your Bioshock link, DB1!
I actually wrote a major part of my final thesis about this absolute masterpiece of gaming history. Being a huge fan of System Shock 1 & 2, I of course had to check out the successor-in-spirit of these beautiful games, and I was not disappointed.
Apart from the thoroughly amazing atmosphere and the convincing, though watered-down gameplay, it was the absolute mindfuck of a story-twist that is visited upon the player, that made this game worthy of complete awe and literary scrutinizing at the same time.
To anyone who has even the slightest affinity to videogaming: check out Bioshock! It’s well worth it!
And btw: beach boob is a kind of boobiness that I wouldn’t mind seeing here every week.
I logged-on today, and had the immediate urge to grab a dictionary.
.
And just as I had suspected, the picture next to the word “herpes luncheon” was this bunch of mongoloids.
Hi Sarge, welcome back. How was D Block?
Mellia, her orangeness, says she has no time to waste. Well, apparently on anything other than skin treatments. Nice look, honey. Let me take a guess. Your last gig was for the Florida Citrus Growers Association, right?
Good on you, Aussies. I always liked you guys, ever since Men At Work taught me about Vegemite.
Hilarious photo link on Bieber=Gidget DB1.
@SSS
.
Welcome back! You’ve been missed.
I am in awe of Italian Douche’s Manifisto. Mussolini could not have said as much with half the words.
it’s nice to stop by and drop a line.
.
Fucking faux rocker pud-scrotes, I get older, they stay the same douches.
.
I wouldn’t be able to visit the damn site for fear of virtual taint fever if it weren’t for sexy-booby vaccination. Thank you boobies. Thank you.
.
And thank you Mila Kunis.
.
And thank you Puffins Ceral. Delicious and nutritious.
.
And thank you bananas for being the perfect compliment to a bowl of Puffins cereal.
@ Italian Douche,
That’s the sort of thing I would expect to read on a prison cell wall before the killing begins.
….written in faeces.
As apology for my comments above, I bring you….
wine pear
Oh come on. Gidget was one hot little cutie. Sallie Field was doable until very late in life. Comparing her with the Biebs is like comparing the Beatles with the Backdoor Boys.
“Mook Court” was one of the best lines I’ve heard in a while.
The sideboobs were great. I concur with Franklyn — mix it up for a visual buffet of the female form.
Any trooper who gets hit by a water balloon by a puffed-up little twit should be drummed out of his job for not caving in that brat’s skull like a pumpkin. He’s a disgrace to his badge.
O imitators, you slavish herd!
@ Blinded: My first thought on viewing Wine Pear: “Put a cork innit”….that one little guy’s bobbing right into Kegel Harbor…
@ I Douche Therefore I Am: I admit it; I’m a shallow FPS guy. It’s the ADD. I just want to run in there and shoot a bunch of grunts and lob a hail of plasma grenades. I got about halfway through BioShock and just sort of set it aside. I have somehow managed to avoid the spoiler at the end; I know there is one. If I could just put down Red Dead Redemption I’d give it another…..OH FUGGIT HALO REACH IS OUT NOW!!!! W00t11!!!1!!
By the way, I.D.T.I.Am – Surely you’ve seen the BioShock 3 trailer; if not, put on your Depends and click here.
No Ass Pear?? What the hell is this — forced atonement?
** clicks on **
.
.
.
.
.
.
I love Peek-a-boob!
.
.
.
.
.
.
** clicks off **
.
.
Sorry I’m late. Sensei is taking a break and has me waxing on and off for him, and I’m a little behind in my other duties.
.
Why are you laughing?
.
Oh, and if you’re wondering…I’m not allowed to use umlauts, diacritics, etc. until I’ve earned something called “FUCEN TARMAL.” Can any of you fill me in?
Adorno as an institution is dead.
next thing you know, academia will be spending millions of dollars just to arrive at the conclusion that Christian Audigier is French and respectable.
.
but in related news, ALL HAIL SIDE BOOBS AND JOHN MAYER QUITTING TWITTER.
FUCEN TARMAL….now that’s a term that doesn’t get much bandied about here any more, ever since FLYTEETH took off for parts unknown.
You’d have to get him back to best explain it.
Side boob pic #3 is natgeo style. Awesome
WHO FUCCEN SUMMMONSS ME?
.
EVERYOENE KNWOS THAT THE TRUE FUCCEN WYQ TO TARMAL IS TO READ MY FUCCEN BLOG SLAPWQHOARS!
FLYTEETH! And just in time, too – we’ve had quite the discussion on Bud Lime recently, and as you’ve no doubt seen, some poster child for jackassery “wrote” in to defend it.
.
It’s time for crackin’ the TARMAL whip on some of these scrotewanks, methinks.
BUDD FUCC#EN LIGHT HAS NO TARAML! THE PRESENCEE OR AGBSENCE OF FUCCEN LIME DOE$S NOT CHANGGE THISA!
.
MEDIITATE ON THIS AND READH TARMAL!
@FLYTEETH
I’d go to your blog more often if you’d update it – last change was APRIL.
Good to see you around here, though! Cheers!
i came here for asspear. i was dissapointed.
When the hardpocalypse comes, it will be good to know I can still seek refuge in Australia.
Asspear combined with Peekaboob would be excellent.