Joey The Orange Reveals Groin Shave Cataclysm
I almost didn’t have the cruelty to post this pic of Joey The Orange revealing his Groin Shave for the Judith Sisters at the Sorority Homecoming.
But then I realized that G.S.R. is the most toxic of ‘bag developments in 2010.
And, no matter how painful to the psyche or destructive to the spirit, we must witness hot chicks dealing with this crisis of modernity.
But to ask your forgiveness for forcing you to witness this transgression against God, Vishnu and Pastafarians everywhere, I offer you, not one, but two pears:
They are a mere temporary soothing balm on the cataclysm of poo unleashed by G.S.R. plague.
EDIT: Joey the Orange responds in the comments thread:
Haters.. they make me famous! =)
im actually a really nice guy.. had a great night.. glad i could contribute to this lame site .. have a nice day lol
oho ho! suelyn pear is most delightful, but poses a dilemma what would taste better smothered on her peachy, juicy booty, avocado or cocoa? hmm well if in doubt let it be both!
fuccen rare ass pink cup is a signifier for butt hole play. his butthole
Heineken banner on the wall- Check
Stolen traffic sign pointing to crap ass speakers (My Polk Monitor 10A’s just mocked them) – Check
What looks like a rare ass pink cup – Check
Smart phone in cleavage (classy) – Check
Pre partying before formal with JTO & his GSR – Priceless
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Ass Pear is always welcome after having to witness GSR
Guhhh…GSR with Ass Pear chaser…good once in a while, but I caution DB1 from going to this well too often. I don’t want to speak for my fellow ‘bag hunters but…f*ck it, I’ll speak for them: I don’t want to get a Pavlonian boner every time I see GSR in anticipation of the Ass Pear to come. What if there is no Ass Pear follow up? From whence did my boner come? *shudders*
I would write a song at my piano if I had a piano in honor of moonlit pear and call it moonlight sonata…. oh wait that’s already been done. My apologies to Beethoven.
The wrap party for Vivid Video’s “Boobylon 5”.
Tendon Ted looks on disapprovingly at his smoothie noodlemap of a groin. Nothing some old spaghetti and some shellac won’t fixt.
I would pay $350 for HD footage of Moonlit Pear pushing 5 peeled boiled eggs out of her butthole in slow motion.
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Cash.
I would push a live Lamprey into a sleeping Grizzly’s asshole wearing nothing but a bikini made of sirloin and bacon just for the chance to bite the head off of the chicken that laid one of the eggs that Moonlit Pear pushed out of her mud clamp.
I would run a “Moonlight Mile” in under 9 minutes, in order to gather one of the boiled eggs to add to my potato salad which I would pair with grilled chicken (thanks DarkSock) which I would then eat in the corner silently so as not to disturb her.
I’d dry hump the egg shells used in that potato salad while using the bacon rind from the bikini just for the chance to provide Moonlit pear with tp after her infamous dump.
damn, ‘while using the bacon rind from the bikini as a cock ring just for the chance etc-etc’
Since you can’t see his arms I’m going to assume he lost them in an unfortunate hair gelling accident. All the better now because he looks like one of those Tae-bo punching dolls. And being a heterosexual female, the Ass Pear, it does nothing. I suppose every once in awhile I have to take one for the team.
I would get another of said eggs, season it delicately with rosemary and ginger, eat it with gusto, and then punch JTO in the fuccen cocck for subjecting me, nay, for subjecting THE WORLD, to his toxic GSR. Cause DAMN!
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The double helping of pear does ease the pain somewhat, although even with their awesomeitude I’m still at an emotional deficit on this, Boss.
I’d eat the fried chicken and tub of potato salad that the chick with the scarf has stashed outside in the trunk of her Toyota.
Hmmmm. I think my anus just leaked a little sesame oil.
@ Dark Sock
You had me at ‘mud clamp’.
Beethoven could compose a masterpiece to Moonlit Pear’s luminous lunar lovelies.
While you fags were eating eggs and chickens, I’d be gently tonguing her ass crack in ever-narrowing circles as she moaned and pushed that heavenly rump against my face, filling my nostrils with the scent of cocoa butter and cool nighttime air. Thanks for running interference, wingmen!!!
That’s a lovely shade of peacock blue on the walls. It’ll be a shame when his anus ruptures from flexing so hard, spattering said walls in blood, foamy burrito feces and bits of pelvic bone.
Looks like his mom is behind to the left.
He will balloon up to her proportions and choke on his own neck.
@Medusa 9:41,
Can I watch? remember I’m over in the corner and I’ll still be silent so as not to disturb you.
I’m trying to figure out under what circumstances the divergent elements in this photo came together. Girls in formal wear, a jeans-clad, shirtless douche doing a groin shave reveal, a heineken promotional poster nailed to a wall, an obviously pilfered one way sign, a 1980-era speaker and a russian bear wearing a black dress and scarf.
And after seeing the pear pictures I can’t get the 2Live Crew song, “Pop That Coochie,” out of my head.
Haters.. they make me famous! =)
im actually a really nice guy.. had a great night.. glad i could contribute to this lame site .. have a nice day lol
@ Gavin
If by “famous” you mean the whole world gets to see the inside of your shitty apartment. Also, I quit drinking SKOL Vodka out of large plastic green buckets when I was eighteen. I’m pretty shure no one is impressed. By the way, nice Heineken poster, cockk. How drunk do you have to get chicks before they’ll touch your tooter?
i’m actually a really nice guy too. i just don’t want to be nice to Gavin because i know that he’s a fucking piece of shit and i’m always right.
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i sacrificed 10 unborn koalas to Richar Grieco just so i can stoop to Gavin’s level of absurdity.
Toxic acute GSR. Not safe for eyes:
i was going to call for more ass pear chasers on top of Moonlit Pear & Suelyn Pear, but Gavin might be flattered by that. so instead, i suggest we torch his apartment, mob justice style.
RicharD Greeeeeeeeeeeeeco does not deserve to have his name spelled right.
I’d shotgun the mucus from the blowhole of a depth-charged dead dolphin just for a chance to sip from Moonlights sweet heavenly rare pink cup.
For the record, don’t, I repeat, don’t click on his workout video. You will tear your eyes out with rusty shards of barbed wire covered in shit. Luckily, I refilled my Ambien script today.
His name is Gavin Waters? And here I thought Mr. “Gleam Eric” had personalized his own streaked Underoos to advertise his Prep H chest.
man, i actually feel sorry for this guy after seeing that video. that was lame.
Go ahead and google ‘gavin waters” Gay porn star. Yep, that’s right-he takes it up the @ss.
Yep, he’s a pole smoker.
Speaking of which…
I mean, I went to college and all and it was before YouTube so I can’t say there wouldn’t have been stupid video of me if I had, BUT there is no excuse for a dude to dance. Unless he’s trying to get some. From a chick. This, “Hey, we just got back from the bar and decided to have some fun by setting up a camera and dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.” with nary a hott in sight has GOT to stop.
@Gavin-
Being a “nice guy” and a total douchebag tool are not mutually exclusive terms. While you may perceive yourself as a nice guy, and your “friends” may agree with such an assessment, the rest of us think you’re an idiot.
Think about it in terms of what you can do.
Can you calculate IN YOUR HEAD the angles to frame the lumber for a roof? No. Can you physically haul the lumber to the site? Probably. Now, who do YOU think will make more money with less effort, the architect who designed the house or the meatheaded assclowns who only have a lifetime of pounding nails to look forward to ?
If you think there’s a job for you in the petroleum-free future, you have another thing coming.
By “famous” he means self conscious and humiliated. By “famous” we mean an inspiring spectacle of fail.
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Back to work. These labor agreements aren’t going to negotiate themselves. Gavin, fire up the Kia, we’ll be needing some pizzas later today.
@Mr. Scrotato Head: “fire up the Kia”… nice.
Something tells me Gavin here might be a gaybag and he just doesn’t know it yet. Warning: This might be gayer than the workout video.
Thank god for pear.
Guys named Gavin are just one rung below guys named Seth on the gaymeter. Unless they are this guy, then that spot is two rungs below. Around the same spot where guys named Bruce are located.
Having gay sex in gay porn doesn’t make you gay!!!
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-Just kidding! It certainly goes make you a flaming homobag.
@Wedgie: But you must admit that Gavin is three rungs above the name Trevor and four above Brandon.
^MC 900
Go do that voodoo that you do so well!
Asian Judith makes me happy. And she distracts me from the GSR and reduces the eyeball damage.
Ok, so I’ve watched little Gavin’s… lol… “Workout” video. Don’t hate me guys, but I’m a Meat head.
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@ Gavin,
This is weak man, I mean really F’n weak… I’m 30-years-old and all the stuff I just saw you do is my accessory work out after my real workout. I compete in Power lifting, and son you ain’t got shit. I would be embarrassed to have that on the internet… REALLY!
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@ Troy Tempest
Don’t judge all meat heads on this turd nuggets like this. Honestly He’s not a meat head, he like to stand in front of a mirror and build his “guns” we would destroy this little sh*t in my gym. I can probably do that calculation IN MY HEAD if I new the equation. I have a BS in IT, and let me agree with you that using the old noggin gets you a lot further than using your muscle. You are wrong about one thing though, I don’t think this little piece of four skin could physically haul the lumber to the site. He can lift his own 135lbs body for 10 rep half a$$ed chinups, do some half a$$ed push ups, do 10 rep 25lbs dumbell curls, and some 95lbs barbell curls… LMAO that’s F’n WEAK…
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By the Way Gavin, chinups don’t count unless you go all the way up and all the way down. Same for pushups, anything else is a half a$$ed rep and it’s really just a waste of your time…
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Call me with your video when your benching over 350lbs, squatting over 500lbs, deadlifting over 550lbs, grow some F’n hair on your chest like a man, and quit worrying about what your abs look like!
Seems like a perfectly reasonable place to be greased up and shirtless.
Joey Orange is able to do a Groin Shave Reveal in a gym? This means either one of two things, they are in there after hours (and from the video there doesn’t seem to be anyone else there) or it is a gay gym. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Is this the first video GSR on the site?
@ Troy 5:17 –
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” Now, who do YOU think will make more money with less effort, the architect who designed the house or the meatheaded assclowns who only have a lifetime of pounding nails to look forward to ?
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I think I speak for Crucial and myself when I say that the meatheaded assclowns make more money than the architects.
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Goodbye, sober day.
^Yes, but at least you can get even by intentionally misrepresenting the diminsions slightly so the meatheads spend days trying to figure out why eht walls won’t line up.
^That would be “the” walls. Spellcheckin’ bitch.
this is just further evidence that so long as young not fully mentally developed but attractive women are easily impressed/pressured to soclialze with men a few years older, but not too much older, there will be early 20’s douchebags.
The fix may seem un-pleasant and a bit “old school” but really once women are of age (16) they should be sent to 40 year old men and young men should be sent to 30-something women. With the “training” both sexes would receive from their older counter-parts, both men and women could maintain their dignity knowing they’ll “get sum” without having to act compeltely retarded, it’ll just be one of the spoils of older age.
Seriously, i kinda believe in this as I approach 30…
i suppose “spoils” of youth too. When i was 18 i dreamt of nailing 30-somethings far more than the high school girls i associated with.
Army of Douche-ness you are definitely on to something here. At 18 I had a six month “relationship” with a 42-year-old Cajun woman… 🙂 ah my training was good my friend!
@ Army of Douche-ness
I like the way you’re thinking here with regards to your “training” idea.
yeah seriously, and a younger guy wouldn’t have t act like a jack-ass to impress a thirty year old woman, just admit he wants to learn and that’d be it.
conversely, even though a younger guy of course wants to fuck a younger woman (or any/all) a 40 year old man is going to appreciate/know how to operate with a younger woman without himself having to be a total retard…wear a suit, take her to dinner, teach her which wines go well with beef and which with pork/chicken…
Army of Doucheness is correct. I have recently opened the Kroeger Institiute of Higher Sexual Education and love ass banging teenagers. That is all. Mrs. Kroeger is making great progress in Teaching Teens To Lick Pussy And Bisexuality 101.
Most architects live in an unrealistic 3D world. It’s quite ignorant of you to call the people who build your home “meathead”. I have dealt with numerous architects and engineers who were fucking out of their minds and couldn’t explain their own plans to us “meathead” sub-contractors. It’s a two way street. There are bad architects and bad sub-contractors. People get what they deserve. The owners who pay the bills are the ones who realistically have fucked up our industry. Under paying the GCs, archs, engineers and so on.
You liberal apologist on this site are getting old. Why aren’t all you calling the O out for doing the same BS the W did? More war, more spending and less for the American citizen who pays these fuckers salaries with our tax money. Change really means the same. Bend over and get ready for more America.
LMFAO… Build on Meathead! and Thank you!
I like AOD’s training idea. However, I think it would be more effective to also have time spent with same sexes. I’d give a stern lecture to young hotties on why having some dignity and restraint will make for a happier times than drunken woo-hottie nonsense How to avoid bad boys, how not to be a doormat, how to get what you want without being a cunt…all of these fine courses are taught at Mme. Medusa’s Finishing School For Young Hotties, based on years of miserable experience, hindsight and personal reprogramming by people who were smarter than I was about real life.
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@ Joey aka Gavin aka Fluffer–Haters make you famous….Well, you are right. Jeffrey Dahmer. Charles Manson. John Wayne Gacy. They have LOTS of haters and they’re real famous. You have mistaken being despised for being successful. You have mistaken popularity with personality disorder. You are not famous, you are now known to a small group of irate web crawlers, and we all think you’re a Douche. You still live in a little apartment, have parties for children and work a day job that I assume you won’t brag about as you didn’t make a video about THAT. The only “contribution” you have made to this site is further affirmation that we are all doing the right thing.
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@ Meathead The Builder–You clearly are on the wrong site if you think we are “Liberal Apologists”. You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about and I have no idea what the President even has to do with the pay scale of architects versus laborers, no one said anything about any of that. If you knew one thing about politics, you would know that American Presidents are simply a tiny puppet on the finger of a large and sinister hand, which is attached to a huge, veiny arm that does things you cannot even imagine in your little pea brain. Mocking douchebags is our escape from the reality of the impending global feudalism that looms on the VERY near horizon, a crushing reality that will surely swallow the likes of the douches we mock on this site, as well as pinheads like you who are suckered in by the left-right paradigm, convinced that “if we just get some Republicans in office, everything would be great!” And this is coming from a flag-waving, gun-toting, apple pie eating motherfucker. I know better, and so should you. If you want to argue silly party politics with others who are still wriggling in that puddle of pond scum, may I direct you to http://www.debatepolitics.com/forum.php . In the meantime, I’ll be in the basement adjusting my water purification system and dusting my canned food stockpile if you have any questions.
as one of the girsl in this photo id like to say that you didnt not get permission from me to post this on a public website, therefore i could sue you. i do not want this picture up, i ask you nicely to remove it.
^ You first threaten to sue and then you ask “Nicely” to remove it? Survey says……BUZZZZZZZZZZZ. Try again, S. K. And this time cry a little, it makes us feel bad. Or, you could read the instructions for having the photo removed, they really couldn’t get clearer. Although what can we expect from women who hang around with guys like this asshat, shove their cell phones between their tits and love to be filmed acting like drunken tarts? You have no problem splattering that all over the web, as soon as you lose control of it, you wanna cry about it. Well, guess what, sunshine….there are no secrets in cyberspace. Nothing is private, it’s all free, eat it. No one needs permission to repost un-copyrighted things that are found in cyberspace, it’s public domain. It’s like you tacked a flyer for a lost kitty to a telephone pole. Then I take the flyer, xerox it, and tack it to another telephone pole. It’s just like that. It’s not illegal and there’s not a fucking thing you can do but cry in your cosmotini. Although the boss will take the photo down if you ask–and do try it, he’s nice. Those of us in the thread are assholes, however, and I am Reigning Cunt Commander, Baroness Bitchface, or Jerk if you prefer. Have a lovely afternoon.
^ and this is why I’m not a moderator.
Medusa, I wasn’t talking about party lines and I actually agree with what you said. I was pissed about the “meathead” comment and I will not leave this site. I love it. I usually post “Anonymous” but not anymore. Maybe the “architects” here can respond to me.
Can we get back to talking about how men closer to my age should be sent hot teen girls and women medusa’s age should be smacking the shit out of 21 year old frat douches for thinking if you just suck on a clit as hard a syou can for 20 minutes it’ll “go off”
I peed on a blueprint once.
I peed on a politician once.
Seriously who the fuck likes girls who binge drink?! if a guy wanted to date someone who drunk more than him he’d date a docker! either that or go to alcholics anonymous. Funny how girls are always complaining about how there are no decent guys out there and “no true gentlemen” well maybe thats because there are no decent girls and no “true ladies” either!.
To conclude women have fucked themselves over with feminism which has given them the right to act like bitches and whores and get away with it by using the excuses of sexism and equality to defend their deplorable behaviour.
This Joey the Orange, a.k.a. “Gavin Waters” is a total choadlick cumshot. I like to dunk hisdouche head in that cocktail tub and light his eyelids on fire. Fucking douche!
No doubt about the G%Y being strong in this one.
None at all.
@Meathead the Builder: Let’s look at what I actually said:
“the meatheaded assclowns who only have a lifetime of pounding nails to look forward to ?”
Note there was no discussion of politics in that.
Note, I specified not just any meatheads or assclowns, but specifically meatheaded assclowns who only have a lifetime of nail pounding to look forward to.
Does this mean ALL people who spend their lives pounding nails are meatheaded assclowns? No. That is faulty induction.
I could have said greenheaded birds who only have a future of flapping around as ducks. Does this mean all ducks are greenheaded birds? No. Nor do all nail pounders = meatheads.
I know a number of people who have been pounding nails for decades, and a few are very dear friends of mine. They are not meatheaded assclowns.
Now, YOU might be a meatheaded assclown with only a lifetime of nail pounding ahead of you. I don’t know you. So, I can’t really make that judgment.
I know you didn’t take any classes in rhetoric, but some of us here have, and so if you want to go blasting through here with a blunt tire iron and cudgel – fine. Go for it. But expect to get dissected. Assclown.
@ DarkSock 9:00 AM,
a lot of carpenters spend their lives pounding nails for $8/h (or whatever the minimum wage is in your area). it depends on what kind of work it is. for example, formwork and large scale falsework / scaffolding (all of which are done by carpenters) can easily pay $30+. the United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America also offers training on piledriver and millwright work (which also pays a lot), even though those aren’t traditionally considered part of the hammer-and-nail carpentry field. i’m sure the same applies to the income structure of the architectural industry, and that you’re just hiding your large direct deposit numbers from us. hur hur hur.
@ Troy Tempest 6:21,
as much as i agree that political rants are uncalled for in this context, the idea of taking classes solely for the purpose of learning how to debate fucking creeps me out.
and while i don’t pound nails into wood for a living, i do agree there are bad engineers and bad contractors. most of the time construction is a gong show where nobody knows where anybody else is or what anybody else is doing.
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but how do you judge an architect’s work? an architect’s primary responsibility is to make a building look nice. if said building collapses due to faulty design, the architect isn’t legally responsible for anything (at least not to my knowledge of past precedents). the engineers and / or contractors take shit for it.
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so how do people judge when a building doesn’t look “nice” or when someone is a “bad” architect? fuck if i know this fuzzy shit.
finally, @ SK 12:40 PM,
thanks for asking “nicely”. i’m sure you feel profoundly tortured that, for once in your life, you have to act “nicely” around people who you normally wouldn’t even give the time of day to, over the internet, no less. well, i hope the torture ends soon for you and you can go back to sucking Gavin’s cock.
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oh and i didn’t not get you. therefore, i couldn’t not sue you.
i’m not making any more sense than you, but at least i remembered to add APOSTROPHES! take that!
Hmm,I smell something kinda gay, and that’s not a bad thing, but that guy isn’t there for the girls…he’s on display for something else.
I don’t post much, but I try and follow along the best I can while I work. But I am a bit confused. Doesn’t that get him a automatic pass? That dude is so gay, there’s no proper term for it. Why does he host girls nights party’s, so that a lot of dudes will come and he will have a chance to do another boner mouth stand?
Just awful.I can never un-see that..
@Medusa,
LMMFAO….. Have I told you lately that I love you?
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“Reigning Cunt Commander, Baroness Bitchface”
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I pissed in my office chair reading that shit, Mr. Scrotato would be proud…
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@S.K
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Are you out of your fucking mind? Let me understand this shit… You go to a party, act like an ass on camera and video, actually take pictures with a skinny little cock gobbler like Gavin here, knowing full well that it’s going up on some social network site, and then you have the audacity to threaten a law suite “nicely”? Do I have that about right?
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Hmmmm… How do I put this “nicely”?
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Never mind Medusa 12:50 said it all for me. I digress.
@ Steve L:
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An architect is responsible primarily for life safety in the built environment. It’s the only reason I have a stamp: the health, safety and welfare of the public inside of the built environment. Hell, my gramma can do a fuccen floor plan, and any kindergärtner is a competent aestheticism. If you want your shit chilled google the 10 minute footage of those 100 poor Great White fans who died because of poor layout. Hell, they had the legal number of exits and everything; they just made a cattle chute for getting into the club that piled up dead bodies in the confusion. And we’re very responsible for anything that happens to a building; leaks, collapses, funny smells and noises… that’ s my stamp and the buck stops with me.
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I just wished a shitload more bucks stopped with me.
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@ MeatHead: there are plenty of morons on both sides of the fence. I’ve seen licensed architects that I would not let design my dog’s kennel, and I’ve seen builders that make what I consider to be true architecture. And I agree about the Owners; they tend to forget that they get what they pay for, so when they underpay….
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As far as being onsite and unable to explain one’s own drawings: let’s see YOU design on acid and then explain it sober. It aint as easy as it looks.
@ Chaser 6:30
No, you haven’t. But please do, I could use the affirmation. The Cunty Flakes I had for breakfast yesterday are not on the menu today and my reserve cells are low. Ego stroking always gets me back on my game.
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@ Darksock–I would love…would LOVE To get a current floor plan of my house and send one to you and one to Croosh just to see what you think. It’s like Timothy Leary, The Three Stooges and Baron Von Goolo all sat down and planned a house together. One part acid trip, one part carnival fun house, one part haunted dungeon. And the builders were Karl from ‘Sling Blade’ and Carrot Top. Not a day goes by where I don’t look around here and go “What the FUCK were you people doing?” And I don’t know much about architecture or building, but it seems like it’s a lot harder than people think. And it seems like there are a lot of people who refuse to recognize the fact that it’s harder than they think. I don’t know if you’re good at your job or not, but there’s no way you’re as bad as whoever was in charge of Casa Oblongata.
Slutty
Kunt?
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Smegma
Kleenex?
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Slurps
Kum?
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Are you the one tonguing your own fingers? Yeah, that’s classy. Hell, I’m sure any of my nephews would be proud to take you home after their mother saw you in that video. Do us all a favor and start taking meth. Then we can pop over to “The Many Faces of Meth” site and ridicule you there too.
Well, I am one who deals with both architects and the meatheads you speak of. DarkSock is dead on and so was this Meathead the Builder guy about fucked up builders and architects. I think we should change the subject and talk about the more important things here like 2 quality pears. Mmm. Mmmm. Good.
And to the skank in the picture who will “sue you”, Fuckk off!!!
PINK CUPS equals Breast Cancer Fund-Raiser possibilities here.
Extreme GSR equals eyebrow-raiser possibilities and vomit-raiser probabilities among sane mockers.
Google “Gavin Waters”…..he does hardcore gay porn.
Those girls are from my hometown and some of them were recent grads or current hschoolers at the time of the picture.
Classy