Monday, September 20, 2010
Vlad the Inhaler
For years, historians wondered.
What was the secret of Vlad’s potency with the finely peared ladies?
Was it Vlad’s patented “shirt over neck” maneuver?
Three inches of undies poke?
Ubiquitous Red Cup?
Or the power of douche face?
The answer: Licky Nip.
Vlad The Inhaler: Ants Everywhere Fear His Snout.
As his role with The Broncos lessened with each passing week, Tim Tebow began to slink further into the shadows of doucherie.
Romania…Romania…you do not border the Adriatic. Bunch of FUCCEN gypsies, Tramps, thieves, Griecos, Travoltas.
That’s some asshole cladding she’s sporting. I bet her farts from the depths of Jerz would make a dingo’s ears bleed as it sat calmly ‘neath a tree in The Outback.
Vlad and Nicolae Ceaucescue were the best thing that ever happened to that country but they did not finish the task, lightweights. That is what my watchmaker told me. Fuccken Romas.
Re; Lucky Nip. Again I ask, what is wrong these women?
And I thought it was the cig in his right hand!! That’s what I do when I want to be cooooll!!!!!
As she kissed ever harder Agniski began to osmosize the blood out of Vlad’s limpening body, 50% of which is sausage fat and cabbage.
I hope Uncle Carmine doesn’t look at my Facebook, I was suppozta be runnin’ numbah’s that morning….
Ouch!!!!!
Sarkozy knows how to deal with Vlad and his peoples.
I think I’ve seen this guy before.
Vlad’s nipples start to become sensitive as he approaches the end of his first trimester.
Thas’ the douchiest face I’ve seen in a while. Let them burn.
Holy shorn scrotum, is that Dr. Evil?
Another Greico, another white baby seal in the Galapagos throws itself off a cliff to fall onto the serrated rocks below.
The shirt over the head move is not so flattering on the moobs.
What’s with the tweezed eyebrows?
I want to impale my hammer into Vlad’s right eyebrow.
The shirt over the head thing actually makes him look dumber. Which is saying quite a lot.
Judging only by his moronic squint eyed facial expression, I’d say that calling Vlad a half-wit is still over estimating him by 25%; he’s a quarter-wit. Tops.
Great greasy goombahs. There is nothing about this dude that warrants even being near a woman. It looks like Grandpa Munster had sex with a loaf of bread and the resulting spawn lost a fight with a leaf blower.
One word: Ewwwww!
Or is that “Eeeeeew” ?
Maybe it’s “Eeewww!”
It’d be fun to get them to swap outfits. I’d rather see her with a t-shirt pulled over her head.
^Second that motion.
In that case, then, I’d like to see him with a dress over his butt.
…no, wait a minute, that’s a UniTeddy covering his moobs and over his butt…
I’m quite sure every asthmatic viewing this photo has already grabbed his or her inhaler or is imbibing four drops of Bach’s Rescue Remedy in a double shot of Maker’s Mark.
Scrotato ever check back in?
.
Fire or hurricane, I can promise you that it sucks sitting there helplessly wondering if your house is still there or not.
Man DB1!, that name is too cool for this chunk of waste meat.
I woulda called him something like “1 eyed Larry”
From the vapid look on his face I wonder what did he inhale? My guess is too much Axe Body Spray.
Medusa, you ignorant slu….er, gorgon, Grampa Munster would never have sex with a loaf of bread.
I always figured he was bangin’ Marilyn. (and possibly Eddie.)
Open letter to Db1:
.
Please post the next one already. I’m getting a little gassy seeing this guy everytime I check back from work.
.
Your Pal,
Vin
.
P.S. Could you use this Side Boobs photo?
holy rumpus batman! that is one large turd cutter
@Vin, I think we are stuck with this a-hole for the rest of the night. Jebus Cristo!
@OMFUG
If someone is calling him a half-wit and you think he is a quarter- wit, they would be over estimating him one-fold or 100% old man, bully. I think you yourself may be a genius old man, if multiplied by a factor of three.
Please get back to watering the plants now. Thank you ever so.
I am not English I just sound that way, bully. Where’s my darjeeling Yates. You are such a thatcher. It’s too hot you poof. When do we get to mock the next douchebag. I do so hope he is Euro and sexy all in feathers and lace like that time we spent in Bruges with the Ostrich wrangler. I so liked it when he took us both at once. ,,,,,,,,,, Yates,,,,,,Yates……where are you my peacock.
Oh Yates you silly valet, how did you think I wouldn’t find you hiding behind the cask of sherry I keep in the boathouse? Homosexual…..What is that? You mean the time I burgled your turd in the Dutch West Antilles?
Oh youth, you have taken me to be something I am not. You slipped on a spilled molasses and slid into me while you were intoxicated. The fact that I carried you back to the room on my erect penis was a survival skill I learned from Lord Baden Powell m dear Yates. Baden Powell taught me from a young age, they were great gay days in the 20’s that you should never remove an object from its point of entry until a medic was on the scene. The fluid that was found in your colon was trauma juice my dear………….
You like, huh? Vlad give you free ticket to gun show, yes. And what of Malvina? You like her butt pear? We are very sexy, yes. Now tell me truth, you buy cell phone or no?
Have you woken Yates? Medic says you should stay sedated until the bandages soak up the bloody juices. What! The nurse says you were on too many already! The whore! She wants me and to that I say, bully. Let me increase your dose just a tad my English boy. Daddy Elementary School Math Nazi will take care of his friend once he takes care of that bad, bad nurse….
Thank you for the kind applause. Yates is unable to speak for himself at this time.
Exeunt: Estage gauche.
A thousand meerkats puked blood and died when shown the the Licky Nip photo. They stood up on their little hind legs, and their big brown eyes wept tears of pain as their insides exploded through their mouths, tossing them a couple of meters into the bush, their spent little blown apart carcasses nothing more that a home for maggots and worms.
And meerkats are so cute. Imagine these sweet little fellas exploding in a rain of vomit because of Licky Nips.
http://www.fellowearthlings.org/images/home_meerkat.jpg
It’s a sad world we live in.
DB1 is slurping Night Train and preparing to watch Monday Night Football. Where, in a strange reversal of the 1980’s, the Saints will kick the shit out of the 49ers.
Live long enough, and you will see everything at least once.
Including math arguments on this site.
@wedgie
there will be no asskicking tonite, i have faith my team.
Fucking Canadian TV Bullshit. Can’t see Monday Night Football. But with NO/SF it isn’t a game anyway. NO won because it was good marketing and the game was fixed. SF=Oakland. Giants will rule.
Saints, baby
I’d like to see the Saints take on the Cubs.
so inhaling too much burnt plastic gives you facial contortions.
Rodney Dangerfield Jr. wasted little time burning through his inheritance. He spent half his fortune on gambling, loose women and booze; he squandered the rest.
I’ve heard he inhaled 3 Ottoman ambassadors. 3!!!
Isn’t that Tim Teabow?
girl has a serious pa-dunk-a-dunk
goon’s face is simply skunk-a-funk
He’s a G.
grease
gut
garlic
goose
gangrene groin
ginzo
gas
gross
I’m willing to skip this weeks voting and give Vlad the weekly just so I don’t have to look at this shit again Friday.
That is all.
niners owned the saints last night, turn overs owned the niners.
i wish this guy was on the line of scrimage with no pads or helmet
@vin 3:28
yes we can all use that pic
At least it was a good game. My Niners gave that game away. Maker’s Mark is a good hang over at least.