Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday Haiku
Blonde Hermoine
Parties with “Hipster Potter,”
Comicon just sucks.
Slytherin house goes
for soft pastels and scarves this
year. Tim Gun shouts “Yeah!”
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
News for you Hipster
“Free Tibet” bumper sticker
Is made in China
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Green silk pants, hipster hat,
Bogus scarf and bizarre tatt,
Still bags blonde with frozen smile
— Chris in ‘Baghdad
Knob-Gobbler of Fire,
he likes Chamber of Seacrest
and head, he swallows.
— Wheezer
Tag team beat poets
Ruining open mic night
With clove scented smokes
— Vin Douchal
“Hottus Attractum!”
“Hipsterbagus Nochanceus!”
“Dejecto Choadum…”
— Deltus
She smiles warmly,
hoping he’ll shut the f up
about foreign films.
— Mr. White
This Potter is gay,
or he’d wave magic wand and
make her clothes vanish.
Sally Jesse is
really pissed that glasses wound
up on Dumbledwarf
Forecast for today:
cloudy douchey arm tatts and
misplaced blonde cutie.
Hipster cockk grabber
Has not “come out” yet to mom
Our gaydar in red
Slytherin house goes
for soft pastels and scarves this
year. Tim Gun shouts “Yeah!”
His lime green golf pants
almost cancel out hottness
of her lack of pants.
An engineer cap
without stripes? Meh, he still likes
to work the caboose.
Casting couch drama
When she offered to blow him
And he bent over
Tag team beat poets
Ruining open mic night
With clove scented smokes
Conductor on the
Hogwarts train seeks fashion tips
from Hermoine.
Wicked annoying
Hat, scarf, glasses ensemble
My mom wants ’em back
She smiles warmly,
hoping he’ll shut the f up
about foreign films.
He’d like to direct
She is prepared to inspect
This picture infects
Shit stains still on arm
From a vigorous fisting
That was self-applied
News for you Hipster
“Free Tibet” bumper sticker
Is made in China
Staring at boobies
Crosses legs to hide boner
Pfft! Like it would show
Green silk pants, hipster hat,
Bogus scarf and bizarre tatt,
Still bags blonde with frozen smile
Ideas run dry;
a collective haiku crush
settles on the regs
Harry Potter scrote
kerchief’d to keep his neck warm
should use the blonde’s thighs
Is that an ascot?
Or is it a bib for drool?
feltch drool that is.
Roots, they are showin
her stylist too busy
plunging his own butt
Can’t resist urge to
Speed down Wicker Park sidewalk
Sixty miles per hour.
Not a true dickey,
but it’s wrapped around his throat
and not vice versa.
pretty weak attempt
of a Charles Nelson Reilly
Though I’d Match her Game
skinny fit scrub pants
makes dropping trou so easy
when she straps one on.
I’ll tell you what friends
he didnt get those big lips
from eating doughnuts
Hipster Gaybag Lance
Loves his pastel parachute pants
And some mangina
@ Wheezer
.
Not much to work with
Gay HipsterBag makes me search
Pics of Maggie Q
Mark on his forehead
is not lightening bolt. It’s
from glory hole trip.
Bastardized version
of URC tries to hide,
settles for leg hump.
We all know that the
Sorcerer’s stone will never
found between his legs.
The economy
hasn’t closed the loan windows
from Vin’s Spank Bank. Thanks!
Hermoine loves to show off
Her newly aquired boobies
Time for cup check
Found out Dumbledore
was gay in last book. Much too
easy with this one.
This is the Weasley
child that was never mentioned.
Gay muggles don’t rate.
He tries to please her
With “stylish” clothes, inane talk
She yearns for real man
Knob-Gobbler of Fire,
he likes Chamber of Seacrest
and head, he swallows.
Hipster Potter in
“Chamber of Secrets”? More like
“Chamber of Secrest”
Wheezer you big dog!
Great minds think alike. And then
Theres us dumb asses
‘Great minds,’ Scrotato!
The mock lives in us all, as
does lust for boobies.
Hairless Potter Gayster wants
to attract the boys for a game of
hide the hot dog in the bun
“Hottus Attractum!”
“Hipsterbagus Nochanceus!”
“Dejecto Choadum…”
He channels his angst
About non-vegans to art
Via Macramé
Her high kicks in slow
As he drones about Tofu;
“Thank you, Percocet!”
She loves time with Lance;
He’s sensitive and funny.
Dildo feeds kitty.
His PT Cruiser
Has a sweet custom paint scheme:
“Mystery Machine”
Douche, imitating
Sally Jesse Raphael
is not flattery
We poke fun at him
But inside our heart of hearts
We’re all going, “Pfah???”
He will take her home,
Flip her onto her stomach,
Pretend she’s “Gary”.
She exudes beauty;
A bright lovely radiance;
He farts white yogurt.
Hey, is this thing on?
Is anyone else in here?
**turns off lights and leaves**
DarkSock made me spit
cereal all over my computer
“He farts white yogurt.” FTW
“He farts white yogurt”
and “I peed in a horse once”;
‘Sock has plenty more…..
“He farts white yogurt”
is his fave Goethe abstract
And his fav’rite meal
Supressing boner,
It’s all too confusing for,
Hipster turdpacker
His fav’rite album?
The Buttles Sgt. Poopers
Yogurt Fart Club Band
Most commenters are
in Egypt–interwebs are
turned off for today.
Wild and crazy guys
George and Yortuk Festrunk find
Gay brother Douchetruk
Phillip Johnson called
can’t see much six feet under
needs his glasses back
He fancies polo
Likes to watch the ponies ride
Wishes they ride him
Deltus’s haiku,
Danzig’s voice, Samhain, Misfists
song: Halloween II
I always wake up too late to throw my 2 cents in for a haiku. Wasn’t this guy on Sex & The City?
Yikes. Tight pastel pants
declare gender confusion.
Give them to the blonde.
I have never laughed so hard at a Friday haiku as I did @ Mr. White 7:20am. It’s like you were there, man. It’s like you were there.
Douche Fashion Checklist
Gay Glasses, Check; Cum Bib, Check
Bad Tatt, Check; Bleeth, Check
wow
The New Beat Gener-
ation rejects Ginsburg and
opts for suckle thigh.
There’s more to Mid-Cen-
tury Modern than home decor.
Retro-Beatnik? Check.
“Howl!” does he love her?
Let’s count the ways: Cap, scarf, beard,
tatts, celandon slacks….
Horn-rims and crossed legs
are a prim substitute for
a horny ‘tude, Dude.
Let me tell you what friends he did not get those big lips eating donuts