Saturday, January 8, 2011
Your Saturday Where’s Jerry O’Connell?
Somewhere in this lineup of overexposed pseudo-celebrity attention whores, I’ve carefully hidden a Jerry O’Connell.
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Because HCwDB is all up on the latest celeb pics from the something something awards. Who’m I kidding? I finally got around to watching season one of Dexter. My pop culture knowledge ended sometime between Lebowski and Office Space. Alls I’ve heard of since then is someone named Justine Bieber helps financially support Twitter. Dammit. I’mma go back to drinking now.
Say what you will, but Kim Kardashian is a boner-inducing machine.
.
And I say that with the utmost respect.
The fat little boy never left him. He cried ten minutes later when Stand By Me played and remembered his first lover River Phoenix. And the girls were gone Son.
Who bags.
Eh, I can’t hate on Jerry. He’s now married to my model crush, Rebecca Romijn. Not only is she hot,but she’s funny as hell and smart. She totally had me when X-Men came out and she was joking about that blue body paint number she was wearing. The cast went out and did a bunch of Tequila shots once. She was laughing at the fact that she puked up blue tequila later that night. I’m very proud to hear a model admit to puking, especially that it’s tinged with spray paint. Becky, i’d glady hold your hair for you.
.
Who are those three chicks in the picture? I think the one in the middle is Jessica Alba, right?
I think Kim gave Jer a case of the Sliders.
Crossing Hardon.
Crocodile Crack.
^^^Son.
Is that Cousin Itt from the Addams family on the right? I always thought he was male…
Is he on the left of the three whobags? What the hell did those three win an award for? Bunch of Tweetards.
Jerry, you were awesome in Arrested Development. Oh wait, that’s wasn’t you, that was the much hotter Jason Bateman. My B.
The one on the right is what Frankenstein would look like if they made a female version and called it bride of Frankenstein. Wait…
Jerry was only milliseconds away from getting an unauthorized Kim Kardashian “fartograph” on the tip of his mercury centered dildo named Amish Womanplant. Son.
amazing – a week has gone by and no major Trolls. How nice.
What ever Kim K.’s left hand is doing probably caused Jerry’s expression…
@ Troy:
.
I don’t know…..of the four, I think the one I’d tolerate reading/hearing about would be him. The rest serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever. I think Jerry has earned the right to have a goofy look on his face – inside, he’s counting his blessings for every day he gets to wake up to you-know-who.
.
And re: Rebecca Romijn…..she left some of that blue on my balls, and managed to do that without ever touching me or even coming near me. That is a talented woman.
Sometimes it’s hard being a Saints fan. Kind of like being Rev. Chad Kroeger’s hatter, kind of hard like Reggie Bush’s cocck scabs he got from K.K. above. I heard something similar to this before. Sorry Dark Sock. I lost on that game too. Marshawn Lynch prepare to die.Son.
How are two sisters hot and the third gets to look like that? If there is a god he is a cruel guy. Jerry gets an insta-pass from me. Sliders is still one of my favorite shows…until season 4.
Football Sucks. I quit.
The Saints put the “turd” in my SaTURDay.
Son.
Amazingly, after winning a playoff game, the Seahawks STILL have a losing record.
.
That’s a fine division champion you got there NFC West.
.
.
Jerry looks like he just got goosed. Maybe Rod Tidwell showed him the money, son.
Friggin’ Colts aren’t doin’ much better for my Sattiday evenin’, Son.
I’m always confusing Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria. Tell ’em to cut it out. Son.
Jerry’s wearin’ pegged pants. Almost.
Son.
I’ve been away from the computer for a few weeks so I’m a bit behind. What’s with all the “son” talk? I’m sure it’s troll related but I’m still curious. Oh and Nick Folk can go to hell. When he was my fantasy kicker he was awful and now…costing me bets.
Say what you will, but Kim Kardashian is a boner-inducing machine, and by “boner,” I mean VOMIT. And what the fuc is that on the right? It looks like a cross between Nicole Kidman, Carrot Top and Pau Gasol.
@Douchie Lewis
It’s from Thursday .Son. DB1 knew we would all do it. It was in a writeup on a douche. Son. If I go 0-4 for wild weekend tomorrow Baltimore and the Eagles win. No more bets or there will be no whiskey, beer, and Funions for Superbowl.Son.
Congrats on Dexter, DB1.
Good luck on season 2.
You will need a support group for season 3.
Guaranteed.
@Douchie Lewis:
.
It’s how we roll now, Son. Get a rulebook. Son.
.
Son,
.
DarkSon.
Khloe Kardashian looks like I paid a mad scientist to make me a Kim.
Spot the STD warehouse.
.
Son.
Jerry’s an allright cat, funny & has a sense of himself, gets a pass from the creatch….the Kardashian harpies are a commode for celebs to jerk off into
…son
Saw a pic of Kim Kardashian w/o makeup,,,,,,fuccen scary.
I had no idea how some women can change their looks like that,,,I guess $1000’s of dollars worth of makeup and hairstyles can do that.
Same with Cameron Diaz,,,yikes!
[url=http://www.w-polsce-mamymocne-seo.pl]wpolscemamymocneseo[/url] konkurs zgreda
I DONT FUFCCEN KNOW HWO THER REDHEADD IS BUT ID HIT ITW WITH TAMRAL, SON!
The two brunettes are doing the “pee-pee leg cross”. The thing on the right reminds me of Anna Nicole Smith, in the middle of a drug binge.
The horror, the horror.
Jerry gets a pass. He’s a dork like the rest of us. Son.
Damn sock, sorry bout them Saints son. Maybe next year son.
A little Kim for you all…..sons or maybe a lot of Kim….son
http://www.vincegolangco.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Kim-Kardashian-w-magazine-bares-all-art-nude.jpg
I’d like to go back in time and meet Robert Kardashian, show him what his daughters have grown up to be and the enormous amount of useless crap they spew forth. Then I’d drive him to the nearest clinic for an immediate vasectomy. After seeing his ex-wife marry Fire Marshall Bill, he’d be on suicide watch too.
Jerry gets a notta-douche pass from me. Married to top-notch hotty, many decent shows, and the movie Tomcats is enough for me.
The video clip is gone?
.
Don’t tell me he made a takedown request…..?
.
Fuccen stupid WordPress…..
Jerry’s nottadouche F’Real.
.
I’m no Wheezer but I recall him mentioning HCwDB on some talk show visit and saying he enjoyed it. He may be the most famous person ever to visit the site, except of course myself (Joe Jackson). Son. And Elizabeth “I’d cock-punch a grizzly while wearing dry salami underoos for the change to eat her kitchen garbage” Banks.
.
And Mr. White (aka Stephen Hawking) is pretty famous. Son.
Wheezer, how did you do the search BEFORE I posted the request? Damn, Son!
.
.
Are we the same person? I lost track.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Son.
Son, I also knew he had been on here before, son, so I put his name in the search box up top, son.
.
Great minds think alike, but I must say that I like the variety of results from yours much better.
^Son.
@T., 8:56 a.m. –
.
It may or may not be out of the realm of good taste to exhume Kardashian’s corpse and do all that anyway.
.
Perhaps we should put it to a vote. Panel?
@ Mr. Reeve:
.
I’m all for a little junk in the trunk, but she’s got hunks of funk in her junk-dunk spelunking sump.
.
When she emits flatus it sounds like someone forcing air-entrained potted meat through a dead buffalo’s esophagus into a baritone bassoon.
.
It sounds like sudden spontaneous applause at the John Largeman turkish bath house family reunion.
.
It sounds like Justin Bieber and Fred Figglehorn having a raw pig liver slap-fight while a disapproving Paul Prudhomme involuntarily passes gas in their presence.
.
It sounds like a beached giant squid choking on a man-o-war as a phalanx of feral ferrets gnaw punish-tunnels into its death-agony convulsing giant eye saucer.
.
It sounds like Bea Arthur being choked to death under an oily quilt.
.
And if you’re within wind proximity behind her big beefy back bacon porch when she issues flatulate it feels like a warm negligee filled with fresh bread pudding being drug tentatively over your face by a Scottish Bog Limnologist named Sean. Son.
Funny Darksock. I was only thinking that her butt is so protudinous she could get assfucked without penetration.
^son
@DarkSock 9:41 am
.
Yo Son!!! It was on the Howard Stern Show that Jerry spoke glowingly of HCwDB, I think Babba Booey is fan also.
.
The only reason the Kartrashians are “famous”/ “celebrities” is because Kim was taped boning some G-list wanna be rapper which “somehow” was “leaked” to the media. That she became famous for this and her family gets to ride along on her coat tails and make millions doing so is a disturbing indictment of the pathetic sheeple of our society who find them entertaining. The true douche bag in all of this is the pud wank Scott Disick.
^Well said . However, it is a pathetic commentary on my beloved US of A that this bubble-assed dipshit grosses something in the $5-$10 million range each year.
Apparently, the career of “Professional Asshole” pays very well indeed. I guess I should have listened more closely to my high school guidance counselor, who I am sure said I was an asshole. Figures that fuckstick forgot to mention I could get paid for it.
I am proud that I have no idea who Kim Kardashian is, apart from seeing her face-n-teats on checkout line tabloids. I don’t know who Scott Disick is, but for some reason I’m thinking of changing my stage name to that, instead of Torque MuleBrow / Blasphemy RotMouth / Mudlegg P. SlackJaw (depends on what instrument I’m on).
.
I have a hand-made 3-string primitive electric guitar made from an old cigar box, with a bent 4-prong dinner fork for a bridge, and a carved axe handle for the fretless neck. This crazy bastard in Mendenhall, Mississippi makes these primitive civil war era axes and puts pickups on them. I slip the brass slide onto my bird finger and proceed to get stupid. That is for the Mudlegg P. SlackJaw moniker. It sounds like an alley cat getting buggered with a hot cinnamon Tic-Tac ® encrusted jelly dong. It will clear a room faster than a chafing leper. Great for getting rid of post-last-call bar trolls.
Don’t care about these celebs….they have no talent. I prefer funny photos of obscure Joey Jersey douche bags to mock.
Also regarding the Kim nudie: Is Orange-Peel Ass-Texture what the kids are into now-a-days? It looks like her butt is covered with surgically translplanted
hog ariola bumps.
@ DSock….which one plays the Ore-gan?
Yeah, Ms. Sock got me a 23 year old bottle of Rittenhouse rye whiskey and I was waiting for a special occasion for which to burst into it. I figured the Saints having to fly cross-country in a BIG FUCCEN FAILIKOPTER is as good an occasion as any. So excuse my non-sequitur-ish dispatches this Sunday; I may be getting my Troy on and drunk-posting. And by “Troy” I mean “Mr. Scrotato Head”. And by “Mr. Scrotato Head” I mean “Crucial Head’. and by “Crucial Head” I mean “Jay Louis”.
.
Good Lord. Imagine if Medusa O fell off the wagon and found the keyboard?
.
Stay Sober, Son.
@ Creature:
.
That would be Rectal Belch. Fuccen dream-killing Oreganiuns. Son.
Darksock’s 10:03 Bea Arthur joke FTW.
.
Where did this “son” thing start, anyway? I feel cold and alone.
@ BvG:
.
*ahem*
.
That would be “I feel cold and alone, Son.”
.
Also, see Friday’s “Wanksta Willy Owns A Boat”.
.
I’m already sick of it. Yet I cannot stop doing it. Son.
.
Gawd-DAMN you, DB1. Son.
.
Now clients are going to start firing me, son.
Also @ BvG:
.
I know you must reside in Portland because of your solar allergies, but DAMN YOU and all your fellow Origamians for taking the “S” right back out of my Saints. WHY COULDN’T YOU LAY DOWN AND TAKE IT LIKE GOOD SPORTS??!?!?!
.
.
.
It’s not funny.
.
Southern man don’t need you aroun’, anyhow.
…Son.
@ DarkSock–trust me, if I fell off the wagon, I would not go groping for the keyboard. I’d be in search of a blowtorch and a shotgun. I’m a danger to society when I drink, Son.
.
I shit you not, I said to my foster puppy last night, “Aw, shit Son.” And I immediately wished a dick punch on all of you.
.
@ Wedgie 11:44
That made me laugh until I nearly choked on my Cold-eeze lozenge and now I’m crying salty fuccen tears and mopping up snot. You’re awesome.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Son.
Ah. I see now. Son. Yes, very funny.
>
I continued to read that post and all I really came away with was an erection from Nancy Dreuche’s deep-fried cinnamon loaf death-log recipe.
.
It sounds like too much work, though. And I’m still not allowed within 50 feet of my local Cinnabon after mall security tazed me for crushing the puss out my to-go box last summer. So I guess I’m SOL.
Cinnamon Loaf Death Log…..I can check “Band Name” off the list now.
In other Portland-related Cinnabon news….
.
Gotta hand it to The Onion…they totally predicted the Soundgarden reunion three years ago.
I thought Stackhouse’s name was Jason Beanlickk?
.
.
.
.
.
.
(continued from 01.08.11, 20:41)
.
.
… son.
I am very proud to hear a model of support to vomit, especially because it is stained with spray paint. Becky, Gladys hold your hair for you.
OK, so who went to Kashyyyk, brought one back, shaved it and then stuck a dress on it, son? For reals son?
.
I hate myself for even knowing who these twatwaffles are. Why oh why do I know this?
.
If K.K. told me to kiss her ass, I’d have to take a whole week off and use up all of my personal time to start. I think I could literally fit in one ass cheek son.
.
@ Wedgie
.
Here I am, a card-carrying professional asshole and I’m not gettin’ paid a fuccen dime son. WTF? I gotta talk to the union rep and see what the hold up is. Fucck me!
I’m still not allowed within 50 feet of me after my local Cinnabon tazed Security Center to crush the shit out of me to take pictures last summer. So I guess I’m SOL.