Friday, February 4, 2011
Friday Haiku
New Rule: “Hawk Bites Pear”
Now in “Rock Paper Scissors,”
To sell to the kids.
“Mmagic World” ass pear
does not deserve rabies-filled
bite from gay bat hawk.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Jen kept yelling “SCAT!!!”
But that’s the wrong thing to say
To horny Germans.
— DarkSock
Cali on his neck?
Please let San Andreas slip,
dump him in ocean.
— Wheezer
A word to the wise
never bite the ass that feeds
this guy craves the poop
— Medusa Oblongata
Recent parolee
Assuming the position
His bunkmate preferred
— Vin Douchal
I could use Shark’s head
As a front-door shoe scraper
For this damn winter!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Sharkbag sees shadow,
Six weeks of unemployment,
What then, Taco Bell?
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
An ass bites an ass?
His general direction
is in need of fart.
Cellulite thrills Shark.
Causes his skin to break out
In Aneurism.
Cali on his neck?
Please let San Andreas slip,
dump him in ocean.
I could use Shark’s head
As a front-door shoe scraper
For this damn winter!
In real Magic World,
his douchey ass would vanish,
as would her clothing.
Tony Orlano:
“Tie a yellow ribbon ’round
The old Magic Whore.”
Bikini bottom
Covers up her Magic World.
So, make him vanish!
The “truth”: his right wrist
and fist will cradle his cockk;
she likes employed men.
Sharkbag sees shadow,
Six weeks of unemployment,
What then, Taco Bell?
In the next sequence,
yellow purse gets embedded
in his fuccen skull.
What do you get when
you cross a douche and peacock?
A pee-stained douchebag?
Recent parolee
Assuming the position
His bunkmate preferred
Part time employment
H&R Block in WalMart
Earns cash for strip club
“Bad Life Choices Man”
Comic book super villian
Defeats you with breath
Chicago Blackhawks
Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull
wanna ice this choad.
Douche vitiligo:
results in strange skin patterns;
Jacko should share bleach.
‘Hawk bends to rip fart
Bud light and Cuervo scented
Please , no open flames
“Mmagic World” ass pear
does not deserve rabies-filled
bite from gay bat hawk.
Ass Pear lets Hawk know
She’s a “Magic Whore” for sale
Hawk pays in Bud Light
Hott tries to pinch urge.
But has to go pee badly.
Shark offers outlet.
Notch in back of head
Wish I had done it with a
Rusty Stilson wrench
Leave for Vegas now
Super Bowl weekend is great
Too cold for pool choads
.
Will try to check out
Friday Ass Pear and the links
With shitty cell phone
In about 10 years,
that will be sweet combover.
Douche, jump off Hancock.
I prefer to play
knife, gun, police baton with
fauxhawked, brain vein choads.
Vin, have Super fun!
Do some ‘bag-taggin’, of course,
and enjoy booze, babes!
Invisible man
cocck blocks this choad from ass pear.
“Magic World” escapes.
Vegas is calling tomorrow, Vin
Will be a blur filled with
Beer and deep fried Twinkies
Fauxhawk’s cell mate had
same pair of undies. Flashback
means “assume position”.
Diarrhea drips
off his chin; he wants seconds.
You are what you eat.
Ass pear signals douche
using Queefonics. “Smell you
later assmunch! Bye!”
My observation:
New filter delays posts from
the avatar-less…..?
“You drank four Bud Limes
last night” says douche to ass pear.
Please putter again.
Hark! Is that a Shark?
Looks more like bottom feeder.
Someone’s gotta eat poo.
(OK – 6 on end, but I gotta go with it!)
I forgot quotes on
last line of previous post.
BRING ME COFFEE!
Buffet aromas
waft out of ass pear. Douche knows
what will be for lunch.
No one expects to
be followed around by a
felching fauxhawked douche.
Turd dildo in ear;
Hair, in revulsion and fright,
Flees across his scalp
Bleeth uses James Bond
tactic for escape. Poison
gas has no effect.
She’s asking for help
Someone say the Magic Word
ABRACADOUCHEBAG!
“Now, Pinch-hitting for
Borbon, it’s Manny Mota…
*‘Mota…Mota…ta….*
Travis Barker weeps
lonely after band broke up
Blink One Eighty Douche
I would give bleeth cash
if she could blast out tape worm
right into his mouth.
“Call off the search, guys;
I found my keys, AND my car;
Parked in Jen’s Man Cave”.
A word to the wise
never bite the ass that feeds
this guy craves the poop
Tough economy
Forces Shark-Bag to work as
“The Human Bidet”
Her farts smell rosy,
he should be pushin’ daisies;
early spring fever?
.
(Hey, that little fuzzy bastard in Punxsutawney can’t be wrong, can he?)
Jen kept yelling “SCAT!!!”
But that’s the wrong thing to say
To horny Germans.
Faceless bleeth in black
Flat ass withers my boner
Hawk makes me vomit
Lonely predator,
must strike before hairdo wilts,
or catches fire.
Male pattern baldness
Can’t come soon enough for Hawk
He’ll still be a douche
Hawks, Tats, and Aluminum Bottles
Not what Lloyd Banks was thinking
She makes me Hunger For More
These black ‘hawked scrotewanks
have shown female ass fetish
lately; still choads, though.
Scoliosis girl
Had no chance against zombies.
Brains with Bud Light Lime.
To be fair, if I was at a party and there’s was some slutty half naked chick running around being obnoxious, and the opportunity presented itself, I’d tell one of my buddies to pull out their phone and take a similar picture.
Hair not worst feature
Lowest adam’s apple ever
I must throw up now
Seriously, though, that thing on his neck is making me sick just looking at it.
Ya know when that shark bites, on the bleeth babe
Magic cheeks start to spread…
Fancy pomade, though, wears old MacHawk, chode
So there’s nevah, nevah, the menstrual red
.
son!
Hungry man’s douche mouth
Works on magic sex world
Hairy happy meal
My first HCwDB haiku! Hooray for ME!
Even though it sucked
Boss takes pity on
my pathetic haiku tries.
Owe Boss a favor.
‘Sock finally shows up
On time for Haiku Friday;
Life is good now, Son
It’s a magic world
when Sparty loses his green
viewing a black ass.
“Shall I do a trick
or perform a trick?, that is
the magic question.”
In Magic World, Trick-
ster is a Faux-Hawk Crow check-
ing out the hot fox.
Frohawk sees first ass
With predictable results
Put him back in cage