Friday, February 11, 2011
Friday Haiku
Somewhere in Peru,
An Ancient Mayan Chief,
Misses his fish spears.
Hey, what time is it?
Let us check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.
— Wheezer
Time to meet her folks,
Spikes of blond atop his head,
Purple hair, despairs.
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Fair warning, children:
NEVER stick your fingers in
electric outlets.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
He thinks he’s a Smooth
Criminal. She knows that he
cries during Oprah.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Purple and spike hair
For bad 80’s cover band
Club refunds cover
— Vin Douchal
Hey, what time is it?
Let’s check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.
Hey, what time is it?
Let us check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.
.
(fixed syllabication)
Time to meet her folks,
Spikes of blond atop his head,
Purple hair, despairs.
White pleather, fuschia
hair, stupid spikes…..what the hell?
Random nonsense reigns.
It’s one Facebook page,
and I guess there’s a fan page…..
what the hell are they?
Fair warning, children:
NEVER stick your fingers in
electric outlets.
Glenda tells her folks,
Guess who’s coming to dinner.
Lace food with strychnine!
When I hear music,
I can’t pick up the mohawk.
I’m just a hatter.
Stegosaurus head
nuzzles uninterested
hott. Must be jacket.
Double-rowed brohawk
forms nice channel for poo sludge;
stays out of his ears.
.
.
.
.
.
Huh?
Four Prong’s nephew must
not have gotten memo. Prongs
always go in front.
Why’s FIFA Nation
calling on members to grow
crap out of their heads?
The MENSA meeting
In a different room next door
That’s why they’re in here
Band towel good for
drying off after shower
to wash off poo, grease.
He doesn’t just Beat
It to Michael Jackson. Prongs
won’t hold themselves up.
Billy Jean is not
his lover. She’s just a girl
with daddy issues.
Purple and spike hair
For bad 80’s cover band
Club refunds cover
Doesn’t matter if
he’s black or white. She knows that
he is always douche.
Mom shouts out warning
“Don’t get shit on my white coat !”
As douche leaves for club
He did not listen
to the Man in the Mirror.
Dad said he looks gay.
I might be happy
if she were shirtless. Hey, just
puttin’ it out there.
This is a tough one
Without getting racist or
Bashing on the gays
Lamar from Revenge
of the Nerds, poses with a
“6”, who hates her dad!
He thinks he’s a Smooth
Criminal. She knows that he
cries during Oprah.
Ulysses watch out:
Medusa and a siren
Are now conjoined twins.
He told her that he
Won’t Stop ‘Til He Got Enough.
“That was quick” she thought.
It looks like his hair
was washed in a ‘bird bucket’
in the BP spill.
Are italics the
new “in” way of posting here?
Tag that code Bossman!
I’m still roarin’ at
Doc Bunsen seven-forty!
That’s front page for sure!
Somewhere
Four Prong’s lil’ bro
macks on
dyed hottie
“I want to rock with
you” whispers douche in bleeth’s ear.
Bleeth knows he lacks stones.
Real Christopher Lee
has flashbacks, shudders at sight
of this greast mill wheel.
What site am I on?
He is a douchebag for sure,
But she’s no hot chick.
Nice catch there, Wheezer
She plays the guitar and sings
He is the drummer
.
Her voice isn’t bad
And chicks with guitars are hott
But they’re not quite there
.
The clips I played on
their site were all just a bit
off rhythmically
.
So hey, there’s a shock
The drummer is a douchebag
And not very good
Thank you, Mr. White –
I like to find background stuff
when writing haiku
.
But the background here
is too dark to show much else,
‘cept Argentine squares.
Love is in the air
Put poo abounds in his hair
And she ain’t a hott
Odd aspiration
But buddy, we know Four Prong
And you’re no Four Prong
Not to be outdone
Four Prong’s cousin Cleophus
Adds one to his dome
Boss left tag open
until we make haiku count
satisfactory.
I was kiddin’, Boss!
Just my way to drive up count
back to old levels.
His head points the way
Five angles show directions
To Total Failville
This douche and Not Hott
were recently barred entry
to heaven AND hell
I would happily
Let her do two-hand tapping
On my pink guitar
Only has one eye
Not Hott makes me want to cry
As all my hope dies
I’d tune up my axe
Then go down below to work
out on her Fuzz Face.
.
(Jokes only Vin will get….)
I’d let her work my
whammy bar until all my
strings were out of tune.
.
Wait, what?
Liberace coat.
Dinosaur sits on his head.
She cant do better.
I see the doucheswiffer
I do not see the Hott
Bad day for a Haiku
Spiked hair douchefella,
Ultraviolet reveals his
hair spooge as purple.
Three weeks in a row.
Boss will expect big payback.
But my knees are sore.
Hot? You are not hot.
You are not a jot of hot.
Hot is wot you’re not.
Real Christopher Lee has flashbacks, shuddered at the sight
the mill wheel greast.
I was thinking of introducing a new “Friday Fun” series, Haiku Friday. I’m a fan of 5/7/5 syllables start stupid poems, so why not the author some Internet and social media marketing.
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