Friday Haiku
Feldman and The King,
With Harem of Giggle Hotts,
Dream a Little Dream.
3 girls in this pic
Not even close to born yet
When Goonies came out
— jonezy
Misuse of water:
instead of drinking it, please
pour it on boobies.
— Wheezer
Wednesday I lost job
Today I see this picture
Tomorrow shooting spree
— MC 900 Foot Douchebag
With “The Lost Girls”
on the set of “Meatballs 5″
Feldman still a douche
— dknutty
Old Johnny Cougar,
Clings to his washed-up career,
Yo, “Get a Leg Up”
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Yul Boner stars in
Timeless musical classic
The King and Pink Eye
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Descartes Said, “I Am.”
Dochieous says “I Am Poo.”
Feldman Snorts Another Line
— DoucheyWallnuts
Bachelor party?
Guests won’t throw rice at wedding
but Valtrex instead.
— Eliza Douchecoo
Yeah, most have pink clothes.
Careful though! This gathering
Can lead to Pink Eye.
And here I thought
Feldman was the dead one
Looks like Bernie here.
Anime girl, front?
Cross-eyed Courtney Love at right?
Photo is brilliant.
Misuse of water:
instead of drinking it, please
pour it on boobies.
3 girls in this pic
Not even close to born yet
When Goonies came out
I’d like leggy girl
even better if her gam
were kicking Feldman.
Am I in Heaven?
Cory Feldman wonders, laughs
Just don’t turn around
No doubt Stefani
knows what the King is thinking:
preen for the pictures.
Last good movie was???
License to Drive was OK.
Why are you relevant?
Wednesday I lost job
Today I see this picture
Tomorrow shooting spree
And in the background
Zombie Marilyn looks for
yummy brains, finds none.
With “The Lost Girls”
on the set of “Meatballs 5”
Feldman still a douche
The King and his court
D.U.I. lawyers happy
For ten new prospects
Who doesn’t belong?
Nottadouche Joe Schmoe in back
who jumped into pic.
The King prepares to
Give Patient White his exam
All must hold him down.
Tranny on far right
Really squeezing on that tuck
Tootoo covers backside
A foreclosed condo
is where The King likes to rave.
Reminds him of home.
Old Johnny Cougar,
Clings to his washed-up career,
Yo, “Get a Leg Up”
The 80s yet live,
but I marvel that the white
tees don’t read “Choose Life.”
Gah! I’m still fucked up
From last night’s T.O.P. show
Can’t find humor here
“Goonies? Stand by Me?”
Films are older than the hotts,
Way to let Haim down
Yul Boner stars in
Timeless musical classic
The King and Pink Eye
Bachelor party?
Guests won’t throw rice at wedding
but Valtrex instead.
Feldman looked around,
Saw the King among pink hotts,
And found his new Haim
Hand on Corey’s butt
Belongs to Greek behind him
Cock up ass, also
Lisa practices
Kicking The King in the nads
The Hots who know, smile.
Phi house MILF at left
reminisces on days when
she thought Feldman “rocked.”
King promised Charlie
Sheen. Could only deliver
Feldman. Coke still blows.
Edgar Frog tells bleeths
Stand By Him and and not the King.
Bleeths love Z-list coke.
The King is asked,
“You’re how big a pile o poo?”
He points sky’s limit
The King is slumming
the vegas woo hotties are
missing from this pic
In a Sea of Poo
These Two Are the Biggest Turds
But They Pull the Hotts
Congressman Lee tries
Charlie Sheen Sex Addict plan
Hopes Charlie leaves soon
King’s always smilin’;
he’s either starstruck or shared
roofies with the hotts.
King can’t ascertain
which of these dime store hookers
stole his damned wallet
Troy from accounting
wants to know how Feldman will
pay with no income.
Descartes Said, “I Am.”
Dochieous says “I Am Poo.”
Feldman Snorts Another Line
“I nailed them all first”
says King with hand held aloft
Feldman cries inside
Pink and White party;
not a shocker that the King
brought plenty of stink.
Feldman tries remake
of Goonies and Gremlins. Calls
it “Pink Skanktoochlins”.
Miguel’s death row wish
For a wild pink orgy
Should have been clearer
Li’l Teddy Doucheamp
parties at Ricky Butler’s
house out in the ‘burbs.
Ghost of Corey Haim
smiles from behind Feldman’s head.
Rides coattails in death.
.
.
.
.
What? Too late?
Catheter connects
Feldman’s urethra to Blonde’s;
Pees in her bladder
How kind of The King;
Brings Cory well-wishers to
His Career Hospice
DB1 sells out
Inks HGTV deal for
“Crack House Hunters”
PTP Hotts swarm
King Douchous throws his signs up
Pink poo puddle grows
Girls look like cartoons.
Feldman has Woody Woodpecker
But cock is flaccid.
In this all-white room
Disaster strikes; Cocaine is dropped;
Nose-Hoovered carpet.
Cory’s rent is due;
What can he do to raise cash?
Porn Flick: “The Poonies”
As the blonde gyrates,
Her gut churns like the Amish;
Lap Dance now Crap Dance.
Out of her bottom
Bursts Crucial’s Head; scurries off
On clicking crab legs.
.
Each girl kisses him
With both sets of lips; Lo, Hark!
Some kisses have beards.
Corey ready for
Blue Nike shoes and sweatsuit
Take me to the stars
Dark Sock fantasy trend:
Vaginal secretion of
Crab-like regulars
Last minute ‘Sock spams
Fail to secure Front Page slot;
I Blame Crucial’s Head.
Tainted rhapsody
of pink and orange suckle
crowns Douchious as king.
The King just can’t get
his Posse Court into full
toga-party mode.
When hotts dress like this,
there need be no reason for
Twister or togas.
I can’t do the haiku,
so fuckk you
He lifts her leg
She farts
How was that?
The King has become
The Zelig of Douchebag World
His career has peaked.
photo with King D
is truly a breakfast of
bag hunters. i’m late.