Friday, February 25, 2011
Friday Haiku
It’s…. Billy the Pudd!!
Blocks pic of almost sapphos.
God slays a puppy.
Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.
— collossus of choads
Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients
— Hong Kong Douchey
This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.
— That one girl I met awhile back
Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.
— Wheezer
leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants
— creature
CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.
— Mr. White
Hey, no, look at MEEEEE!
Yeah, I know these girls are cute,
but I’m here DOUCHIN’!
Bottle blondes, choadwank
form toxic mix to digest;
I should resume sleep.
I will not allow
These fine ladies to be viewed
For I am a douche
Its Sucks in City!
Kim Cattrall poses while Douche
Sucks life out of scene
Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.
This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.
Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!
Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.
As Tracy removes
The coke they stored in his butt
The rest keep lookout
Tighten bandanna,
stretch his arms on torture rack;
penalties for douche.
Bandana won’t help
When the teargas goes flying.
He’s in for surprise.
Of all the patterns
In this horrid shot, the worst
Is chicks with douchebags
Douchebag caught slipping
In his own trail of grease.
Hotts giggle at fall.
Someone give this chump
a beatdown for entering
bikini playroom.
Douche’s Chin Pube ‘V’
Matches bandana ‘V’ and
schwartz ‘V’s’. V forVermin.
(Arrrghh! 5-7-6, but gotta post!)
By day, toss with son
But at night, tosses salads
With his butt buddies
“Stop!” he cries. “Until
you give me a jelly dong,
you can’t look at them!”
Blonde peels back long hair
Readying for giant blast
From MegaFart Phil
Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients
CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.
.
.
What, too soon?
A scarf, dude, really?
Are you looking for beatdown
From gay bashing choads
His thesis on his
fractal shorts fails to impress
Professor Bimbos
Delicious blondies
Find Wisconsin Senator
Gone AWOL from state
Grandpa once told him
“Act like you’ve been there before”
Forgot the lesson
Grandpa also said
“Don’t act like your douchey Dad”
Junior must be deaf
Four people from here
Easily get laid tonight
And there’s one that won’t
Vin, you may be wrong.
Just need five horny men of
the “right” persuasion.
Billy is too busy
mugging for camera to watch
Socrates and hotts. Douche!
.
.
.
.
.
(Pronounced So-crates as in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure not Sock-ra-teez as in well, correctly)
5
7
5
It’s this guy from Summer School:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm137793024/tt0094072
@Douchble:
.
I prefer this pic;
I can’t quite explain why, but
may be aesthetics…..?
I’m guessing that this
is rat Gaddafi says spiked
water with douche luudes?
Hey there fine ladies!
Don’t I resemble Tom Cruise?
Nope, more like shih tzu
@ Wheezer:
5
7
5
No argument.
Douchble Helix up
my ass because coffee not
working yet. Chill out.
Peroxide, Herpes
Douchebag Wearing Mandanna
Recipe for Poo
Poor man’s Steve Carell,
leaves office stress behind, still fails
as team “party guy.”
I don’t see anything wrong with this guys goggles but the ladies can throw the rest of him in the dumpster
and stuff the bandanna in his frickin pie hole.
it’s Pee Wee Hermann
in latest incarnation
joke is in his shorts
And Wheezer fails at
haiku syllabication;
eight in last mid-line.
Underboob Reveal
And Supple, Suckle Bodies
Can’t Overcome Douche
leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants
leopard side boob sez
with sizziling sultry eyes
“yes, size does matter!”
Boss will close “i-tag”
once he rises from Ho-Ho,
PBR stupor.
Hotchickswithdouchebags
wraps up it’s special “Blondes Week”
With four tasty bits
This can’t be much worse
than the can of paint thrown on
that famous rembrandt
Maybe Donk’s release
comes at good time; this scroteputz
can’t carry Donk’s jock.
.
.
.
(…..though I’m sure he’d like to sniff it…..)
I’m not really sure
that there’s a source of water
for these bathing suits
I have an idea
let’s play my favorite game!
Duck, Duck, Duck, Duck, DOUCHE!
Three hots laugh at pud
as downhill older sister
strikes a pose for douche
I would gladly let
all four of these blonde hotties
squat and pee on me
.
.
.
just sayin’, son
He checks every box
required of a douchebag.
I check blond boxes
Billy’s pubic rash
Groin shave does not cause these bumps
Herpes is the call
Let’s chop off his head
whittle it to a point and
play spin the bottle
Large sunglasses hide
bandana to cover up
Billy knows his shame
Gay hotel waiter
brings ladies their check; their tip?
“Ewwwww, pop your ass zits!”
At least he’s bending
forward; blocks GSR but
shows ass shave reveal.
douchebag crossing guard
looks both ways, plays for pink team
blocks eye of coitus
@ 7:41 am February, 25 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
5
7
5
No idea what I’ve done to offend you. Is it the same guy from Bill & Ted? My bad.
@ Douchble Helix
.
My lack of counting skills (see first haiku) and coffee before said first haiku allowed Dr. Jekyll instead of Doc Bunsen to come out. Sorry ’bout that. Please accept my apologies for being a dickhead. Hold on. I’m always a dickhead. Well, I hope you know what I mean.
I’m just glad that’s cleared up. I make more than enough enemies online, without hardly trying.
Oh, I get it! No, I just can’t rhyme, so that was my way of loopholing the requirement.
Dern what a douche I am I didn’t even notice this was the Friday Haiku. Jeez I am slipping fast.
douchebags only job
is holding the bitches back
from others like him
I don’t see anything wrong with this guys goggles but the ladies can throw the remainder of him in the dumpster
back problems are a
bitch when hitting on hotts. no
one care though. douchebag.