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Thursday, March 31, 2011
Marty The Douchey Picture Frame Guy
If you ever wondered what the picture would look like that comes with a picture-frame bought in a really douchey-ass picture frame store, now you know.
Larry from Three’s Company wants his patented chest hair reveal back.
Tasty young Consuela has nowhere to run from this gringo onslaught. Next thing she knows, they’re sharing a Snuggie.
EDIT: Turns out Marty the Douchey Picture Frame Guy has a second job as one of the morning D.J.s on Washington D.C.’s Sports Junkies radio show. In case the douchey picture frame modeling business dries up.
Thursday, March 31, 2011Cries and Whispers and Joey Poo
It was Swedish auteur Ingmar Bergman who explored the use of a distinct cinematic language of stylized existentialism to paint themes of the psychological crisis of meaning.
It was Joey who left the seat up in the bathroom at Koi.
Thursday, March 31, 2011Hyman Lickowitz
Hyman Lickowitz has one thing to say to the kids: Dry, lifeless hair can take the fun out of your life. But you can put it back with Brylcreem!
Thursday, March 31, 2011The Greasepitz Pump Each Other Up (Via Stacy)
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a comb across my hea-… GAH!!!
Still out there.
Still pretending to be interested in tasty bottle blonde giggle gnaws like Stacy.
Still smelling like shoeleather and displaying toxic Groin Shave Reveal.
Too much too early. I blame last night’s tasty microwave Trader Joes burritos for this pic. And my poo.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Major Havoc Shirt Guy Runs With The Goose
There’s not really much to say about Major Havoc Shirt Guy and Suzie running with the Goose, except that it brought back a pleasant memory from your humble narrator’s childhood.
That period, in late 1984, when I owned Major Havoc at Cambridge’s late, great “1001 Plays.”
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Reader Mail: Willem’s Rappercrud Tag
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Subject: Utter D-Bag
This photo is of a cute friend and her utter d-bag boyfriend. He is such a d-bag it is almost is if he is trying to make an ironic statement about douchebaggery but unfortunately for her he is way too dumb for that.
The best part is that he thinks he’s rapper.
– Willem
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That “video” may be the more reprehensible slice of humanity fail I’ve seen since the Criss Angel music career crisis of the late 2009s.
The Wankstabag category continues to be the most infuriating and perplexing, as hiphop wigga suburban shitestains long ago crossed into pathetic self parody and part time employment at Carl’s Jr. Tasty Barely Legal Belinda deserves far better. I scornfully reproach the failure of her parents as she complains about her struggling career as a custom jewelry designer, then stare at her pokey sideboob when she’s busy removing the swizzle stick from her appletini.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Sven and Silvia say, “Welcome to Olten-Zofingen!”
“Ze whistle is for when ze party is truly out of ze control!”
Meanwhile, Woody Allen contemplates suing Sven and Silvia for illegally stealing the set design for the brain sequence from 1972’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask. What? Too obscure?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Caption Omar’s Thought
“Is the shortest distance between two points still a line in a four dimensional curved universe? And why is there a red bump on my peepee?”
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Mister Zebracrotch
Interesting footnote to history, Pablo Picasso was originally nicknamed “Mister Zebracrotch.” But Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.
The Orangenesss is strong in Granddaughter Karnie. She must resist the genetic impulse, or rampant boatbaggery will soon ensue.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011Maceo Discovers His Thumb
Maceo like thumb.
It help him pee.
Kendra has crazy eyes. But don’t pretend it wouldn’t stop you from buying her a fourteen dollar Mai Tai. Because it wouldn’t. And you know it.
