Monday, March 21, 2011
More St. Patty’s Day Fallout
While a number of readers submitted pics of drunk wankholes attempting to douche it up for hot chicks this past St. Patrick’s Day, few qualified as true HCwDB, as most were just bridge and tunnel flotsam in mid pukosity.
Which, come to think of it, actually is true HCwDB. But still.
But something about Waiter Juan’s kissy lips, and Irene’s doe-eyed confusion of perfect taut suckle bottom, reminds us why holidays were invented in the first place — state sanctioned mating calls.
She’s yummy.
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He dealt me a blackjack, once.
Soon, all holidays will follow Halloween’s lead in being the excuse chicks need to dress like whores. Why wear a fun shamrock on your shirt when you can wear no shirt at all?
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I’m not complaining. Just observing.
I’d like to corn her beef and boil her cabbage and potatoes.
I’d kiss her Blarney Stones.
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And Mr. White, it’ll be the salvation of humanity when every holiday is the chance for young supple nookie tasty boobie shoulder nummy to dress like skanks.
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Um, point of order for the table. Do hotts on Halloween dress like: whores, sluts, or skanks? It’s important we get the verbiage correct.
there are no snakes in her ireland.
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But I wouldn’t mind changing that.
semi-nice paddy’s, but what’s with the Officer Ponch impersonator?
If you are going to slut it up for a holiday, any holiday: 1) Show your belly button. (This leper-con does, but just barely) 2) Show your legs. 3) No hoodie. This chick totally ruined St. Pats for me. Let’s hope she gets a clue before Halloween.
I’d flail her brisket with me shillelagh. Arrrrr!
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wait, that’s a pirate.
I’ll bet her Lucky Charms are magically delicious.
I’d Sinn her Fein.
I’d Stout her Guinness
I’d bomb her cars
I’d explode over her Lockerbies.
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Too soon? Nah; Gaddafi’s gettin’ his.
She is decadent. I’d shamois her rocks until they sheeded like gooold!
He is one green beer away from peein’ in his own butt.
^I meant to type sheened but I was too busy being retarded.
Irelene is such a breath of spring air, minty freshness exuding all up my 24-year-old memory of being 24 years old.
I say give Waiter Juan a pass. He might have just eaten a Pringle’s or some other sticky thing that got his lips stuck together.
Something from aisle 3 at Costco.
That’s a tough aisle.
Gotta admit, that’s a nice phone pocket, eh? He’s all set up there!
I think we know what are the two busiest days of the year at “Mariachi O’Grady’s Pub”
I’d Roscoe her Tanner.
I’d Finnish her Scots.
I’d butter her biscuits.
I need a job, or something to do in the yard, like chase Irelene around.
She looks like she might have a little Irish in her.
If not, I’ll be glad to put some in her.
Hey Fez, Jackie is gonna be pretty pissed off when Donna tells her that you were hitting on Irene over at the bar when she went to the bathroom. Donna will probably tell Steven and then he’ll chase you out of the bar and down the street until he gets to kick your ass. That is unless he gives you a three step head start.
I’d make her Irish Spring as clean as a whistle.
I’d Bono her U2’s
The fact that Irene is legless and hovers about three feet off the ground makes her way hot.
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Like Timothy Leary said, “Levitate, masturbate and medicate.”
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He also said, “There are three side effects of acid,
I’d famish her potatos
@ Deltus: Sluts my good man, SLUTS!!!!!
@ Vin
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Would those be Dia de los Muertos and Arbor Day?
I’d sip from her Jamesons while listening to the Pogues.
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I’d pluck her Wild Irish Rose
Irene has a look that says she’s not really buying the story that this guy is actually Benicio Del Toro. It was a nice try Diego. Now go bus table 3, we have people waiting.
I’d skip her shamrocks.
Perverts.
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OK.
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I’d ravage her Cranberries.
I’d let her Linger.
I’d Dolores her O’Roirdan.
I’d snake her St.Patrick.
I would do a lot things,
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Seriously though. Anybody have an 8 year old girl that has a pubic hair
I’d sing her wild rovers.
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@soy bomb: I’ve heard many a people call properly Halloween dressed hotts “sluts” before, but we need consensus.
Did she get her shamrocks by having to show her shamBOULDERS?!?! Those are massive. Didn’t know matadors celebrate St. Pat’s… apparently everyone’s Irish on that day. I hope rather than pinching him for not wearing green, she punches him in the mouth.
She’s a cute lass, and well dressed for St. Paddy’s Day. I don’t know what he is, but that outfit makes me think he might be the guy working the side door to Hell.
And I’d like to finger the strings on her Celtic Harp.
I’d like to shepherd her pie.
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Deltus: My vote is for “sluts.” Always, always “sluts.”
@deltus
I’m going with “whore,” actually. “Slut” just seems too percussive and hard for a drunken holiday reveler that you want to bang. You can draw “whore” out when you whisper it in her ear, almost romantically. “Whore….wwwhhhooooorrrrrrre…”
I’d Michael her Collins.
I’d Cork her County.
I’d Celt her ic.
@Deltus, My vote is for whores but pronounced who-ars, like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force pronounces it.
@Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche…I see you’ve been watching reruns of That 70s Show again.
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In the spirit of togetherness I’d Vista her Cruiser.
She can drive my snake into her heather any day…
I would Peter O’Toole her va-jay-jay.
I’d Sunday her Bloody Sunday, but would hope it was one of the three weeks it wasn’t bloody.
I’d stick my turgid Pogue in her MacGowan and squirt my Waxie’s Dargle all over her Belfast.
He’s just Gay-lick.
I’d go all Nottingham on her Young Dubliners.
I’d Dropkick his Murphy while sticking my Stiff Little Fingers in her Emerald Isle whilst Flogging me Molly.
I’d plunder her Paddy while floosing his Patty-Pat.
St Patrick (Padraic) commonly nicknamed St Paddy, gets a mis-rep’d nomenclature, St Patty, which gives rising credibility to the fact He may be a She.
On an island with many boob-shaped potatoes and no snakes, it must be true.
And yea, this picture shows us so: SHE be the raison d’etre for St Pat’s day after all.
And send him back to Mexico City.
I’d Phil her Lynott because she’s a thin lezzie
^top that, bitches
I’d ring her Belfast, thereby Dublin her pleasure.
I would frost her celtics with my Blarney Castle.
He’s a member of the Irish Re-Pud-Lickin’ Army.
I’d perform Aer Lingus on her Cork Airport.
I’d stuff me James Joyce in her William Butler Yeats. And I’d be none to Jonathan Swift about it.
I’d re-Joyce both her Ulysses.
As the recession worsened, the Epcot International Pavilions took on a decidedly more adult tone.
^”It’s a small girl, at your balls…”
i should’ve just emptied a bottle of Jameson so i’m not reminded of St. Patty’s Day douchebaggery.
actually i would still be reminded of St. Patty’s Day douchebaggery if i did that. but drinking Guinness (and, of course, Jameson) is about the principle of the matter.
I’d put my shamrocks on her clovers.
Is it April yet?
Aye, ol’ Wheezer’d be Dublin ‘is fun wit’ de fine li’l lass’ taters!
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Aye, she walked by me an’ I remarked, “Wot a fine li’l lass.” She slapped me face! Can ye believe dat?
I’d dangle her participles..
I’d Van her Morrison.
I’d Ewe her Malmsteen. What?
I’d Pierce her Bronsan.
I’d Clannad her Enya.
I’d Edge him out of the picture.
I’s let her Bob my Geldof.
I’m going 5 am freesryle before crazt doctor now.
I’d Barbarian her gates.
I’d Emerald he Isles.
Fuck it. My fingers don’t work. Fucking quacks I’m going outside to sleep in my car.
Boobs!
@DarkSock: ”It’s a small girl, at your balls…” I just about fukken died, right there.
chickka chickka bawm bawm
One of the best reads on the internet guys.