Say Hello To My Little Fran
Yeah, yeah; I know. The Boss ran this pic already for a Saturday “Comment o’ the Week”. Well, I shall not presume to put myself in a position to select the best of last week from my peers (and by “peers” I mean those with whom I pee), so I figured this would be a good chance to circle back and hose some mock upon the photo that accompanied DB1’s award, since the choad in the pic was largely ignored as we heaped accolades upon the best of that week’s mock.
Nope; this guy, whom I tag as Tony UnTanna, ain’t gettin’ off with his pale hide intact. Not that easily.
Because I pine for Fran.
All Tony UnTanna has in this world (besides SPF 90) is his balls and his word. And he don’t shave them for no one. But she still does not want to see his “Little Friend”.
And, with apologies to Levon Helms, I would gladly take a Choad off Franny, and put a load right on her.
Hey Fran! I told you not to step in the backyard until I did a poop patrol
tony looks like he is about to pass his spleen out his poo duct
Tony is so white he lights crosses instead of fireworks.
Tony is so white he confuses chameleons.
Tony is so white he believes Glenn Beck.
Tony is so white he gets tickets every spring to the masters.
Tony is so white he writes in obtuse. Son. What? No more sun for me.
Please remember that we share the Earth with others. The giant panda is in trouble and needs your help. The government of China is doing their level best to provide shelter, bamboo shoots and additional funding for our gentle cousins, but they need our help and support. As we speak, many pandas go without basic needs, hundreds are without subsidized housing.
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You may ask, “But what can I do to help?” Well, the answer is simple. Please go out of your way to buy only those products produced and manufactured in China. Many of the proceeds go to help these gentle creatures and other endangered reptiles. I know sometimes it’s difficult to find obscure Chinese-produced products, but don’t you think it’s worth the extra effort?
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Please do this today.
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Do it for the pandas
Did someone say Tony Joe White?
“A wretched, spitful straight razor-totin’ woman.”
spitful?
Never mind, “Tony SO White.”
thanks for the ‘polk salad’ hermit
From my e-mail this morning. A sweet offer! Where’s Nigeria?
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We need your service
From: Mary Nwofor
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Good Day,
We are one of the major Entertainment Consultation Service Company in the entertainment industry today here in Nigeria.
Presently located in Abuja, our client a foreign based hospitality company affiliated to Bolingo Hotels and Towers, are about celebrating their TEN YEARS (A DECADE) of operating successfully here in Nigeria later in year.
The services of foreign based entertainers (Musicians in particular) is highly needed due to the caliber of expected guests outside the shores of Nigeria.
We will need your services or rather need you to be part of this celebration due to popular demand and acceptability and your huge experience in the industry.
If you agree to be part of the show, kindly get back to us with the following information’s.
Your Full Names:
Contact Address:
Years of Experience:
Group Name (IF any):
Shows Attended:-
A. In your Country
B. Outside your Country
Age:
Sex:
Telephone Numbers:
A. Home
B. Office
C. Fax
Please state categorically your terms / conditions of operation, number of persons / musicians in your group, mode of payment.
REPLY.
GOD BLESS YOU.
Thanks,
Mary Nwofor.
He’s so white his lawn is made of transplanted Reagan rectal polyps, and it bleeds out every time he mows into a giant sun-baked scab.
He’s so white his alphabetized CD rack has Belinda Carlisle categorized as “Heavy Metal”.
He’s so white Kenny G fucks to HIM.
He’s so white his gardeners are Republicans.
He’s so white his poop is taupe.
He’s so white if he drinks espresso he gets a tan.
He’s so white Baron Von Goolo gave him a blood donation.
That quite a large urine sample Fran is carrying there
he’s so white Ralph Reed shines his shoes
he’s so white his negative sings “Mammy!”
Some people say Rapture, and other people say Rapeture. Where do you stand?
he’s so white they put tarps over him in movie theaters
He’s so white he makes the Osmond Brothers look like Parliment.
He’s so white he makes the NBA of 1950 look like the NBA of 2011.
He’s so white he makes a lacrosse game look like a Soul Train Line Dance.
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BTW, you owe it to yourself to at least fast forward to the 1:09 point and catching the re-run looking dude’s dance.
tony is so white his penis is inverted
Tony is so white, tiger woods fucked him
Tony is so white he doesn’t let Arizonans into his yard without proof of citizenship.
Tony is so white he started the Milk Party
Tony is so white he got beaten up in Alabama for walking around with a Hershey Bar
Tony is so white Cougars bite him during sex to whiten their teeth.
Tony is so white his tanning lotion is Clorox™.
Tony is so white he finishes every sentence with “Moon”. .
Sun.
tony is so white, he was the stunt double for “powder”
Tony is so white he has to wear a welder’s mask when he brushes his teeth.
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Wait…
Tony is so white you can see pepper in his stomach.
Tony is so white, he has an external uncircumcised pancreas.
Tony is so white he has tiny rivers of blood streaming out of his ears and nipples.
tony is so white his asshole is used as a prism
Tony is so white he remains standing after a belated orgasm.(and the National Anthem.)
Tony is so white he scrubs bird poop off his kneecaps after playing chess with Johnny Mathis.
Tony is so white he thinks soul food is shoe leather and grahm crackers.
Tony is so white his bathrobe has a hood.(And so does his penis and his gas range.)
Tony is so white, those aren’t dog tags….its a rare case of squamous cell carcinoma
Nice moontan, Lestat.
Tony is so white, he still won’t cross the mason dixon line
I’ve noticed that DarkSock lists boobies under “categories” 78% of the time, compared with DB1’s 37.4%.
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Not sure what that indicates, bit it should be monitored it closely.
scratch “it” from the record
and replace “bit” with “but”
Scratch the whole thing from the record, I’m sorry I brought it up.
Fuck wordpress and Jack Daniels.
Tony is so white, that his anal hair and ear wax have the properties of extra-virgin lamb’s wool.(and olive oil)
Tony is so white Banksy tagged his ass while he was peeing
Banksy not Tony
Hey Vin:
Nigeria is on the Wire Fraud Coast of Africa.
Good Luck to you sir.
Tony is so white I forgot about this thread while golfing. Funny shit. Son
Tony is so white he has to wipe with tar paper to make sure he’s clean.
Tony is so white he got thrown out of a Blue Man Group show for making them pastel.
Tony is so white Fran’s vag looks like a bleached pug’s face.
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What?
Tony is so white he chews chili but swallows chowder.
Tony is so white Fran’s teeth and anus are bleached naturally.
Tony is so white he looks normal when his bladder’s full.