Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Rock Star Leniency Rule – Metal Edition

The lifeblood of this site are submissions by you, dear readers.

Photographs serendipitously snapped by you of that tool at your cousin’s wedding mackin’ on all the chicks whilst sporting an ant-trail chin-strap beard…

The Thick-necked gym troll whose image you clicked at a bar whilst he was distracted displaying full pee-cockk regalia, hoping to incite a coma-level call-and-response by yayo-fluttered labia, making their soft pink forced-air hum, like dying earthworms on a hot plate…

Or more likely, harvested at a club website, filled with endless frames of douchey party goers whose images go right into the Mock Hopper, its unmoving pig-iron grey lips dripping with yellowy chicken-fat and still-writhing veins; out of the other side come small-format tidy pictures, with a terse write-up from The Boss, and we’re off to the races…

Well, I see here that a well-meaning reg caught a tiger shark in his casting nets.

Better walk on by, Boy…

For this is Vinnie Paul, drummer for Pantera, Damage Plan, and several other side projects we’ll not bother to buy anytime soon.

Much respect to Vinnie and his poor late brother DimeBag, whose death, while about as metal as it gets, was tragic and in the end crushingly random, meaningless and too damn soon.  That kid that shot him, who himself wound up wearing his lungs for a vest shortly thereafter courtesy of an off-duty cop and his scatter-gun, took from us a primal force.  But Dimebag and Vinnie, who clearly have been mistaken by a valiant but novice eye, ain’t EVEN no douchebags, Hoss.

When you see tomorrow’s tool shed filled with last week’s preening and clueless contenders it will center us all, from these nottas and the pale scurrying wannabies.

It shall FOCUS us like the projector in a junior high school Sex Ed video that no one really wanted to watch but did.

For tomorrow is your last chance to vote before The Boss is Back next week!!!

EDIT:  Astute readers noted that my headline “pardoning” Vinnie P was redundant, and repetitive, with the Rockstar Leniency Rule; hence redundant.  So I retitled the post to purge all posted redundancy from this post.

–DS