Peter Pumpin’Head and Mary Mammageddon
Exaggerated ex·ag·ger·at·ed (v) 1. Enlarged or altered beyond normal or due proportions.
Ludicrous lu·di·crous (adj) 1. Amusing or laughable through obvious absurdity, incongruity or exaggeration.
Grotesque gro·tesque (n) 1. A very ugly or comically distorted figure, creature, or image.
Wow. Just Wow.
So…I remember the time as Wee Sock in 1978 in the outskirts of Town when Momma took me to the “California Concept” barber shop. It was a classic late-70’s “butt-cut” hair-do factory (think Bruce Jenner, or Jackson Browne) and I was there to get a “big boy” haircut.
As I sat in the chair I faced the mirror in front of me, which reflected the wall mirror on the cutting station opposite me, I realized that I could see myself stretching on into an infinite reflection between the two grease-sheened surfaces.
I ponder if that’s what’s going on here. Peter Pumpin’Head and Mary Mammageddon: two textbook narcissists, staring into one another, not seeing the other but rather themselves refracted off of the slick glossy sheen of their own ego; their strutting ids run amok, flexing in the funhouse mirrors of each other’s thin magazine-glossy souls.
Peter Pumpin’Head does not see Mary”; nay. Rather he envisions himself strutting into the night club with this uber-candy on his swole-assed arm; all heads turn to look…at Him. Egoasm!
Same for her; bounce into the club with heels high and blouse straining, all heads turning, aaand cue the silicone dome theme song:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they’re like –
“It’s better than yours,
Damn right it’s better than yours…”
Ah, but yes.
If you will excuse me now, I must go stick my head into an oven.
A toaster oven.
Do what it is that you do, my comrades. Existentially dissect these specimens for answers. And by “answers” I mean “giggles”.
We’ve seen him before. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtr_RvR3sY
Hey Adrienne. Ya wanna you could turn off the radiation for a while. Just sayin. Uhhhhhhhhhhgh.
We may have to go with a notta pass for celebrity status here. That’s three-time heavyweight masturbation champion Harry Palms. The guy took 2nd place in the Giant Jerk competitiion last year. He would have taken 1st, but he was only able to perform right handed as his left arm looks like a pool cue.
Refugees from the republic of LOPP, Land of Oddly Proportioned People. Seriously. I could not photoshop what plastic surgery and steroids have done to these bodies.
I see the circus is in town.
.
I don’t see a hott or a douchebag, just two sideshow freaks.
.
Next.
Point of clarification: I think the milkshake song was actually about her butt, not enlarged tatas.
This should be under Categories: Freak, Boobies, and FreakBoobies. See what you can do about getting us a FreakBoobies category while you’re runnin this beast Sock.
.
His bicep is as big as her boobcep. Should make an interesting flex off.
Mary Mammageddon FTW
dear God make me a bird so i can fly far….far away
Her toes would touch the water if she tried to do a dead man’s float.
Would, no. Wouldn’t, yes.
I have absolutely no problem with either one of these freaks. I hope they marry and live happily ever after.
DarkSock nailed it, they are perfect for each other. If they want to perceive the snickers and muffled derogatory comments they hear behind their backs as they enter a public gathering place as some kind of admiration, so be it.
If you use your imagination and do a probable age progression of them on their thirtieth wedding anniversary………………………………………………………………………. it ain’t pretty.
Did anyone notice the tits on this girl?
…..mmmmm….. muscle milk
@ DarkSock,
.
I know it’s tough to tally votes in an ambien and scotch-induced fog, but who the fuck won the HCwDB weekly?
.
Or, have I been in an adderall®, weed, Old Milwaukee®, xanax® and NyQuil®-induced alternative reality since Monday?
And I bet her vuh-jay-jay has the scent of must and burnt toast.
They look like frikkin Sci-Fi action figures
.
I honestly can’t say I wouldn’t touch them tay-tay’az
Dark Sock harshed my buzz with Jackson Browne. I listened to “Running On Empty” and had a panic attack, took a pill and realized I learned to play drums when these songs were new man. Far Out. Beware young men the point when ye realize ye is way closer to dead than alive!
Check out the rest of the set: http://visboo.com/th%D0%B5y-bel%D0%BEng-t%D0%BE-each-oth%D0%B5r.html
Did Pete get his fingers clipped off at the knuckles? An’ what’s up with his little elbows stickin’ out there? I thought only
Popeye
had that?
.
Ya! YAH! Now veer talking! Zis is vas der schvimmers look like sqvuirting out of my schvantz hole !
.
Yah! Babies for EVERYONE!
He looks like someone stuck an air pump up Tighty Armani’s starfish .
.
She looks like someone stuck a Chihuahua’s head on a milk cow
This is a match made in heaven.
And by “heaven” I mean a toilet bowl…or a Vegas day-club….take your pick.
She’s got a big fat butt on her chest. How’d she do that?
The idea that I could look at two tits, an arm and a guys head and the head would be the smallest of the 4 things I’m looking at is mind boggling. Seriously, it’s mind boggling.
They frighten me. And amuse me. But they frighten me.
Moments later, the grain eater shoved his bleeth aside, and he spread his table wide to receive his food. Then with both hands he hefted up his meal of bread bun, a small pod of manatee, lettuce, beef, tractor tire, cheese, a whole grain silo, tomato, onion, relish and bit into it with a mouth as wide and as dislocated as a dumpster. The load was so big his nostrils were clamped up tight and his eyes were squinted against the amino acids extruded by the onions.
.
A red dribble of tomato and melted rubber seeped from his mouth as he chomped and chewed and masticated the load into a manageable paste.
.
That initial bite done, he put the remnant burger down onto his plate and rummaged around for a blanket to clean up the mess around his eyes, mouth and hands. Then he lifted the meal bit into it again, and again – until the it was reduced to a few discarded lettuce leaves and a couple of cold potato chips.
^^I don’t really have anything else to add, other than the fact that I would find it fascinating to watch one, or both of them eat.
.
That’s all.
Paragraph 3 is good stuff…. a direct and concise summary of the Greico plague.
^ Watching him take the resulting bowel movement would be tantamount to a life-changing religious experience.
Casting calls for the new Sin City movie?
Hermit 1.29 clearly meant “since Monday… May 23, 1994”
.
.
.
.
egads. if these two were a metaphor for using proper proportions that a recipe calls for when baking, you’d assume that Helen Keller was the cook.
I believe John Cougars Melonscamps wrote a song inspired by these 4. Something about her being a small town girl and him being on the football team. Their’s is a story with which everyone in ‘merica can identify.
.
I remember my first girlfriend in high school. She had a 64 GGG chest and an adorable southern Louisiana accent. Just like Mary, everyone described her as either “cute” or “adorable”
.
Best post yet Mr. Sock.
Gustave Flaubert said, “Anything becomes interesting if you look at it long enough.” Nuff said…
Her cans are so big her bra is held by boobgravity.
His arms are so swole he can’t clap and can only drive farm equipment.
Wheezer, back me up on this one. We’ve seen this couple before, with two other aging MILFinators be a Vegas pool, wearing various miniscule attire.
I swear, her tits look bigger in this pic. And his head looks smaller.
Explain that one, Barry Bonds.
His arms are so swole he can only drink longnecks, and even then has to orangutan-lip it.
Her boobs are so swole they have to make out in separate cars.
Her boobs are so swole that when she goes swimming one’s always dry.
His arms are so swole he needs a telescope to read a book.
Her boobs are so swole Pluto was declared a planet again.
Hello? This thing on? *tap* *tap*
Her boobs are so swole Pluto’s orbiting them. And Uranus. And Urcockks.
Her boobs are so swole she needs a commercial driver’s license.
Her boobs are so swole that they used weather balloons for her implants.
Looks like Beyonce got sick of people talking about how big her butt is.
Her boobs are so swole they’re filled with tiny strippers instead of saline.
Her boobs are so large that each contain their own central nervous system and communicate with each other using a a series of grunts and squeaks like the majestic humpback whales.
Her boobs are so swole she lives in a hangar.
Her boobs are so big they cause rainbows.
Her boobs are so big they have extension lungs.
Her boobs are so big her knees and ankles have implants.
Her boobs are so large that she seperates them at night with a sheet of treated plywood to prevent mildew and fungus from growing between them.
His arms are so swole he need has to jerk off under a doctor’s supervision.
Her boobs are so large she wheels them out to the front porch in a golf cart and lets them watch the cars go by on weekends.
Her boobs are so big she has to sleep face-down on a bunk bed with the top bunk sawed in half.
Her boobs are so big they’ll die 5 years before she does.
Her boobs are so big she has “No Skateboarding Allowed” signs screwed into them.
Her boobs are so large she takes them in to the Goodyear Tire Store periodically to keep them aligned and balanced.
Her boobs are so swole he had a handle implanted into her C4 vertebra just so she can sit upright.
Her boobs are so large that if she sleeps on her back she’ll suffocate.
Her boobs are so swole that she stopped going to the beach because Cubans kept seeing asylum on them.
seeking damnit.
Her boobs are so swole that she could raise the Titanic all by herself.
Her boobs have a small colony of lemurs and Hondurans living in her cleavage.
His arms are so swole that he can only jack off if she gives him a Danish Rudder.
His arm is so jacked John Merrick points and laughs
His testicles are so small Oppenheimer could not split them
Her boobs are so swole she can crush a case of beer between them. Bottles, not cans.
Her nipples are so swole that Ethiopian kids can use them as Sit-N-Spins.
her boobs are so swole, the only pasties that will fit her are hub caps from a 74 lesabre.
her boobs are so swole when she goes for a mammogram, they need 6 sheets of plywood.
Let’s just exaggerate everything here, huh?
Her boobs ar so large and fertile, small stalks of wheat sprout from her nipples duing the passover holiday.
these 2 will replace the visions of my own fiery death in my nightmares. But in all seriousness who won the weekly?
The milk from her lactating mammary glands could nourish a small Scandinavian community, and all the livestock in the outlying villages for several months.
As the huge quantities of milk rush from one side of her heaving breasts to the other, it is reminiscent of the rising and falling tides of the seven seas.
Her tits are so enormous that her mother would seal her shoes with duct tape and film her bowel movements in black and white film using time-lapse photography.
Each breast has become so engorged with white blood corpuscles and lunch meat that they are regulated by the EPA and measured with a set of calipers gauges weekly.
her implants are so massive, the exact shape of her breasts is affected by the relative postioning of the moon. in fact, the only proper nomenclature for breasts that large are heisenbergs. however, she is clearly not einstein’s slit, or einstein’s box.
See what happens when you use your Shake Weight 20 minutes a day/3x a week?
Her gargantuan glands are so voluminous that insects and small rodensts seek shelter whan she squats over the curb to urinate into a coffee can.
I don’t know what’s going on but I’m in.
.
Her arms are so big she hugs the kids with her testicles.
Her arms are so big she leases herself out for disaster restoration.
Her arms are so big she’s afraid of loggers.
I get it,
Her arms are so big she divided the Red Sea. That is a biblical reference Son.
Her arms are so big she lumberjacked of Paul Bunyon.
^mean boobs. Man my Dad gets me awful drunk just for installing a new bathroom fan and light after supper. He always tols me wen Iwas a yung chiblen to remember that your forfathers are not just your fathers, they also hate you for being alive like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDtpJiW-Lj8
Greatest Crisis Of Modernity, and frontrunner for images that are going to make me put a shotgun in my mouth.
Her arms are so nondescript that they barely merit discussion.
Fuck I’m drunk. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDtpJlW-Lj8 . And go Bruins cause I’m going to bed.
^ FUCC The gravitational pull of all that meat made me forget to sign in
…And together, they gave birth to the Belgian Blue Cow.
@Hermit 1:29, while we wait for Mr. Sock to announce the winner of the Weekly can you please regale us with some DarkSock and his Mare lover fan fiction? Trust me, its what’s hot right now.
no need for airbags. choadstomp has an small stack o buttons for a nubber!
I agree with anonymous @ 5.16 – this is a contender for greatest crisis of modernity in the annual. This is stunningly fucked up shit.
Her boobs have so much silicone in them, she could caulk all the windows in the Empire State building and still be stacked like Rachel Welch.
Looks like someone was messing around with that Mac picture distorter app.
Aside from that, I apply the traditional bicep rule of thumb – if your bicep is bigger than your head, urrrradouche.
Nancy,
I ‘m a little worried about him. I have always feared he would be kicked in the head during an E.E.E. (erotic equestrian encounter) and be rendered unconscious with no one in the barn to call for help.
^ You remember wha happened to David Carradine don’t you?
His arms are so swole he had his own dick chopped off and reattached to his hip just so he could masturbate.
Her boobs are so fleshy they’re USDA regulated.
^ Why am I talking like Ricky Ricardo?
His arms are so swole he has to ride TWO bikes.
Her tits are so fake they live in L.A. and contantly complain how everyone in L.A. is like, so fake.
His arms are so swole that each has its own prolapsed rectum.
Her tits are so big Steven Hawking has a theory about them.
His arms are so swole he brushes his teeth with a broom and paint thinner.
Her tits are so swole her IQ is half that of her tits’ PSI.
.
.
And she graduated Summa Cum Laude.
Her tits are so big you need an oxygen tank to suckle her nipples.
His arms are so swole his pit hair hangs off his elbows.
His arms are so swole he ties boxes to his HANDS to drive a car.
His arms are so swole he wipes his ass with a grain thresher and length of chain link fence.
.
Wait, what?
Her tits are so big she uses satellite dishes as pasties.
Her tits are so swole they’d rupture if you threw a water ballon at them.
His arms are so swole you could drive a jeep through his stretch marks.
Yeah, who IS the weekly winner; WTF?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Oh…
.
.
Ummmm…..
.
.
.
BRB…
@Hermit, is it because I have some ‘splaining to do?
why does grotesque have to be a creature?
…jus’ askin, fukkahs
btw, I could woop his ass…just give me an axe handle & some bacon grease for bait
I can only think this is a set up from the porn industry,and these are their next “stars”and what could be the name of that film?
I am concerned the guy can’t reach around and wipe his own ass.
@ Stephanie:
.
Porn movies named after these two? Aw hell you done it now; 200 comments here we come…
.
Allow me to throw the first yogurt:
.
“Pump Friction”
“The Silence of the Mamms”
“Forrest Pump”
.
.
.
“…Life is like a box of titt-tehs…”
“Das Bicep”
“Raging Bicep”
“The Inglorious Biceps”
“There Will Be Bicep”
“The Bicep-Pull Thief”
.
.
.
.
.
sorry…
“High Poon”
“Bicep Cassidy and the Sundance Tit”
.
.
.
.
again, sorry….
“Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Bazoombas”
“A Streetcar Named Big Fuccen Titties”
“Rosemary’s Boobies”
^no, seriously…sorry…
“All Quiet On The Western Gunt”
“Tittanic”
“The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”
.
.
.
.
.
what?
“Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Silicones”
New Moon(s)
“The Chronicles of Mammia: The Lion, the Witch and the Huge-Ass Boobies”
“Horton Hears a Hooter!”
“Honey, I Inflated The Tits”
“Remember The Big’uns”
“The Hunch-Chest of Notre Dayum!”
And, no, I do not know how to turn off the italics.
If she has any sense of humor at all, she had her plastic surgeon add a squeak toy sound.
Igor mixed the Beyonce parts up with the Michelin man parts.
her boobs are so swole, this thread needs 1000 posts to justify her boobs’ existence.
but this thread is a lot more swole than the ungodly denizens of this photo.
that’s all i got.
and italics.
Isn’t that Veg Armstrong–only smiling?
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/06/veg-armstrong/
Yep, the girl immediately to the right is the same too.
Her tits are so swole they take separate taxi cabs…
Bruce Lee, Dave Mustaine, or any NHL player in the conference finals would kill this guy.
I tried to titty fuck this big titted women with my Jebus sized cocck but it still wasn’t big enough………SON
Dammit, idfma, why must you ruin everything good in my life?
Biceps of the Lambs
Freaky TitDay
Never Contact
Taxi Boober
.
(not sure why Jodi Foster is on the dome)
One Flew over the Steroid Nest
The Pumping
A Few Good Boobs
Hard (to) Ride(he)r
PumpyTown
The Boobies of Eastwick
The Two Jack-offs
Somethings Gotta Give
.
.
Wait, what?
shit, those were all terrible. Is it 200 yet?
Con Air (read in Spanish)
.
Avec Air
Gone in Sixty DDD
888MM
Living Las Vegas
Unnatural Treasures
BoobCock Dangerous
The Swolecerer’s Apprentice
The Rocks
Amos & Handspew
Pumping Arizona
.
(Scottsdale I’m sure)
Peggy Sue Got Implants
RumbleTits
Captain Corelli’s FunBag Inn
debating whether to try out Sammy L Jackson movies…
Pump Friction- shit, that was the first DuckSulk entry
Twatterworld
Juranal Park
The Princess Ride
Big
.
.
.
Too obvious?
Apumpalypse Now
Titty Titty Bang Bang
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
C’mon we must be slippin’ here.
Supersize Me
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wait. Fucck, that’s a real one.
Boobfellas
The Silence of the Mams
Forest Pump
2010: A Space Boobyssey
The Boob Ultimatum
Rosemary’s Boobies
Snatch
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Do with that one what you will.
Yes, muthafucckahs, 200!
Shit, fuccked up on two for them. Oh well…
Jurassic Pork
Biception
Last Bicep on the left.
Road Whore
Sick Scents (6th sense- I see dead scrotums)
Indiana Cones and the Temple of Spooge
I still can’t get over the size of that dude’s arm! Yes, I agree her boobies are massive, but the dude’s arm is ginormous!
I honestly hope he doesn’t jerk off with it, as there is little doubt he would rip his pecker off without even knowing it….unbelievable!
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Blistered Hull.
Taintanic
Lord of the Rings: The Smell of Shit and the Cream.
Lord of the Rings: The Tool Plows Her.
Lord of the Rings: The Pee Burn of the Skeez.
When we look upon fine examples of nature’s bounty such as these, it’s comforting to know that John Wilkes Booth and Henry winkler did not die in vain.
The Brotherhood of United Melon Growers rejected these boobs for their 2009 calendar as being too exaggerated, ludacris and grotesque.
This guy kick starts the family mini-van with his elbow and only obeys street signs in italics.
/i>
@ Darksock–it’s what I do, it’s what I do.
That arm is photoshopped. Why? Isn’t he douchebaggy enough, why make it unrealistic now?