Sunday, June 26, 2011
‘Baguettes Make a Music Video in Hollywood
Yet more from the Rebecca Black “so bad it’ll go viral” school of promotional nonsense.
I don’t care how firm the butt bongos are. The Holy Ganesh needs to summon a rain to wash away this wretched hive of scum and villainy en toto.
Oh fuccen great: they can spell with a teleprompter in front of them.
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That’s as far as I got. I listened to more of “Rosanna” on the YouTube page, and I hated that song in 1982. But everything’s relative…..
This video was shot in the overgrown backyard of a Longbeach rambler circa 1980. First time that pool’s been cleaned in years.
P A R A S I T E lemme tell you what it means.
I watched it once with no sound. That’s how far I got with the sound.
Lemme be first: I count at least 2 trannies. I blame my new HD monitor.
So I take it that this is a parody of Lil’ Boosie and Lil’ Phat’s song Independent. The fact that I’m not only aware of but remember Lil’ Boosie and Phat makes me depressed. I need a Jack and Coke…
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Stupid Michigan…I can’t go by alcohol until after 12 on a Sunday…fascists.
I can only hope an asteroid the size of Greenland is hurtling towards this planet as we speak. After seeing this video, it is safe to say that humanity has probably blown its chance at creating meaning and purpose here on Earth.
But perhaps there is greater meaning to all of this. Though it would mean the certain death of all life on this planet, the resulting giant cataclysmic cloud of silicone, bling, bleach, grey goose, protein shakes, and grease will no doubt diffuse throughout the galaxy, rain down upon some innocent protoplanet thousands of light years away, and seed the the primordial ooze of some future scrote-based life form, thus completing the cosmic Greico cycle.
If I lived in Hollywood, South Beach, Vegas, or New Jersey, I might find grandeur in this view of life.
I’m really glad I left my headphones off. Moving pictures was enough to repulse me.
Would it be wrong of me to point out that toto, in Nigerian slang, is a reference to the woman’s most private parts?
Can’t
Understand
Normal
Thinking
SONS
the putrid & infectous vaginal discharge of the Kardashians continues to spread
Well, they can spell better than me so they got that going for them. I want to see the video these three make 10 years from now. That is if one of them hasn’t slept with one of the other two’s boyfriends and sabatoged their awesome friendship. Girl power!
And just a sidenote, now you all know what the bleeths pictured here sound like, so when you’re ogling their goodies keep it in mind. But you know, hott is hott, right?
Repulsive & Repugnant came to mind when I tried to watch this. The sad thing is there are women running around out there with that type of mind set. This always hits close to the bone for me. I wish I could not let it get to me but it does and it sucks!!!
the only thing lamer than white guys trying to act ghetto is white girls trying to act ghetto
For any of you who read my penis story, I hope it falls off today after this video. Toto’s “Hold The Line” was the point of demarcation when I realized and solely decided that disco was dead. A year later fucking “Rappers Delight” appeared. Toto is also on the lineup with Max Webster, Harlequin. Platinum Blonde, and a bunch of other wastes at my high schools 205th anniversary reunion. My high school is the oldest continually operating school of higher debauchery in North America.
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I have to go see a woman about some “snakey milkbag” rejuvenation and vaginoplasty.
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Dukes
I could’t last more than 30 seconds. I wouldn’t watch that if they were all making out and finger-banging each other. R-E-P-U-L-S-I-V-E.
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Chaps.
The sad part in all of this is that once again- which is worse, the stimulus or the response? As much mockery goes on on this site- who is to blame? The chicks with this mindset that they can “sell” themselves for the right to spend your cash, drive your car, and sponge every dollar available to them from you and probably three or four other dudes like you, wouldn’t have the mindset of dudes weren’t allowing it. We always read or view on the interwebz about these idiot guys. It never bothers me when I read about charlie Sheen and his high end hookers, but these douches with a lot of money and status, but no game, cock, or self esteem, try to turn these hookers into housewives just so they have something prettty on their arm. Funny how with all that money, college education, and career experience they don’t ever notice that bored look in their P2P lovers eyes, or the fact that their net worth will dip dangerously toward zero right before the divorce, and even lower after it. Much as we see females on this site “gravitating toward douchebags like moths to blue flame,” men gravitate toward these purchasable status hags. I believe somewhere in the Bible, book of genesis, it says “Trash Begat Trash,” (possible translation error) so where did it all start? How does it end? And more importantly, how can people who profit off of profiteering be captured and killed? Way too early on a sunday to have such deep thoughts; i am going to get back to my Guiness Hangover and maybe watch a little TiVo’d Keeping up with the Kardashians- now these girls have some Moral fiber… FAIL!
Let me list the fail:
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1. These bitches and their enablers/producers have no reading comprehension, not that that’s surprising. Definition Of Codependency: Codependency is a condition that results in a dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people. A codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed. This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other person to continue to be needy.
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WTF does that have to do with being a leech?
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2. Someone should have told them that spelling a word that takes up almost three full bars in 4/4 time pretty much stops….the….song….dead….
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3. They’re nasty, ugly funts. If Miranda Kerr or Christina Hendricks wants to sing a song about using her feminine wiles to get money from me, I’ll buy it. Not these walking chlamydia infections.
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4. This is how the Golddiggers make me feel. Don’t open unless you mind the paint melting off the walls. Hang in until 1:10 or so to actually here her sing quite prettily. This band is either the worst or best thing I’ve ever heard. Possibly both.
Mr. White is correct. Mrs. Kroeger is a codependent.
@Memphis:
if an asteroid that had the area of Greenland hit the earth, these are the results if you were 3000 km away from the impact:
Earth Impact Effects Program
Robert Marcus, H. Jay Melosh, and Gareth Collins
Please note: the results below are estimates based on current (limited) understanding of the impact process and come with large uncertainties; they should be used with caution, particularly in the case of peculiar input parameters. All values are given to three significant figures but this does not reflect the precision of the estimate. For more information about the uncertainty associated with our calculations and a full discussion of this program, please refer to this article
Your Inputs:
Distance from Impact: 3000.00 km ( = 1860.00 miles )
Projectile diameter: 260.00 km ( = 161.00 miles )
Projectile Density: 3000 kg/m3
Impact Velocity: 17.00 km per second ( = 10.60 miles per second )
Impact Angle: 45 degrees
Target Density: 2500 kg/m3
Target Type: Sedimentary Rock
Energy:
Energy before atmospheric entry: 3.99 x 1027 Joules = 9.53 x 1011 MegaTons TNT
The average interval between impacts of this size is longer than the Earth’s age.
Such impacts could only occur during the accumulation of the Earth, between 4.5 and 4 billion years ago.
Major Global Changes:
The Earth is not strongly disturbed by the impact and loses negligible mass.
The impact does not make a noticeable change in the tilt of Earth’s axis (< 5 hundreths of a degree).
Depending on the direction and location of impact, the collision may cause a change in the length of the day of up to 25.9 seconds.
The impact does not shift the Earth's orbit noticeably.
Crater Dimensions:
Transient Crater Diameter: 809 km ( = 503 miles )
Transient Crater Depth: 286 km ( = 178 miles )
Final Crater Diameter: 1940 km ( = 1210 miles )
Final Crater Depth: 2.89 km ( = 1.8 miles )
The crater formed is a complex crater.
The volume of the target melted or vaporized is 2.51e+07 km3 = 6.02e+06 miles3
Roughly half the melt remains in the crater, where its average thickness is 48.8 km ( = 30.3 miles ).
Thermal Radiation:
Time for maximum radiation: 3.11 minutes after impact
Your position is inside the fireball.
The fireball appears 188 times larger than the sun
Thermal Exposure: 1.53 x 1011 Joules/m2
Duration of Irradiation: 11.5 hours
Radiant flux (relative to the sun): 3720
Effects of Thermal Radiation:
Clothing ignites
Much of the body suffers third degree burns
Newspaper ignites
Plywood flames
Deciduous trees ignite
Grass ignites
Seismic Effects:
The major seismic shaking will arrive approximately 10 minutes after impact.
Richter Scale Magnitude: 12.6 (This is greater than any earthquake in recorded history)
Mercalli Scale Intensity at a distance of 3000 km:
VII. Damage negligible in buildings of good design and construction; slight to moderate in well-built ordinary structures; considerable damage in poorly built or badly designed structures; some chimneys broken.
VIII. Damage slight in specially designed structures; considerable damage in ordinary substantial buildings with partial collapse. Damage great in poorly built structures. Fall of chimneys, factory stacks, columns, monuments, walls. Heavy furniture overturned.
Ejecta:
The ejecta will arrive approximately 17 minutes after the impact.
At your position there is a fine dusting of ejecta with occasional larger fragments
Average Ejecta Thickness: 142 meters ( = 466 feet )
Mean Fragment Diameter: 1.75 mm ( = 0.69 tenths of an inch )
Air Blast:
The air blast will arrive approximately 2.53 hours after impact.
Peak Overpressure: 1.02e+07 Pa = 102 bars = 1450 psi
Max wind velocity: 2550 m/s = 5710 mph
Sound Intensity: 140 dB (Dangerously Loud)
Damage Description:
Multistory wall-bearing buildings will collapse.
Wood frame buildings will almost completely collapse.
Multistory steel-framed office-type buildings will suffer extreme frame distortion, incipient collapse.
Highway truss bridges will collapse.
Highway girder bridges will collapse.
Glass windows will shatter.
Cars and trucks will be largely displaced and grossly distorted and will require rebuilding before use.
Up to 90 percent of trees blown down; remainder stripped of branches and leaves.
@Troy
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Do you think this would be serious?
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Professor
C R U S T V A G – Let me tell you what it means
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These vacuous twats are the ironic justice dispensed to the deserving douchebags that enable them; ironic justice not seen since those 19 fuckshanks woke up on 9/12 to their 70 virgin goats in Hell.
@ Mr. White: I like the cut of their jib, Mister.
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@ Troy: can you plug in Plinky’s Mom to the parameters and see what happens?
C
U
Next
Tuesday
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Bitches
nice legs shame about their face! they are gonna look like 9 miles of bad road in the not to distant future.
@troy
do you think it would finally knock the frisbee out of the maple tree in my back yard?
iwrestledabearonce sounds exactly like The Cranberries “Linger” in fast forward. Son.
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Mrs. Kroeger wants sex but I can’t get beyond the snakey milkbags today. I’m shallow and stoned and shit.
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Dancers
Memphis Doucheworkers–I second that.
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This video has convinced me that celibacy is the best option. Yes, the point about DBs who enable these bitches is well taken, but the fact that so many people have died, been enslaved, and otherwise been oppressed so people who drive Bentleys (or the Attilla the Hun equivalent) can have the ‘most attractive’ (note quotes and absence of ‘best’) pussy (and let’s not forget young boys–conquerers used to take both) makes me ashamed to be human.
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Dik Richie makes me ashamed to be human too. Our culture and our species cannot and will not be redeemed.
Let me be the first to suggest they’re a trio of trannies! And I can’t imagine Alice Cooper ever penning another You And Me about this lot. Plus, as they’re semi-hambeasts now, God only knows what they’ll look like in the not-too-distant-future.
Daughters…
Love the Coops, too.
@darksock
I wanna have babies with the iwrestledabearonce singer. She’s like an unholy combination of librarian hott and a rabid honey badger. If nothing else, I’d like to hear what her lullabies would sound like.
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I used to think the chick from the now-defunct Light This City was badass, but the bear wrestler frontwoman makes her sound like Ricki Lee Jones.
Speaking of Ricki Lee Jones, why is there no (easily findable) metal cover of “Stewart’s Coat”? Fuccen internet FAIL.
Some years ago I was forced to attend a Ricky Lee Jones concert. I went with two other pretentious couples who I detested, and my then girlfriend who I wasn’t all that crazy about either. The only thing I knew about Rickey Lee Jones was that fucked up pop song that she had some success with in the late seventies.
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The three girls were all especially pumped up about seeing this whore sing, so they were chugging wine and smoking weed and getting pretty tanked on the way to the concert. I sat in a back seat, sober and miserable, hoping the whole thing would just get over with.
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The crowd at the small venue was older and quite subdued. We took our seats in the front row, center-stage, the three girls giggling and stumbling.
When R.L.Jones came on stage the three chicks stood up and started yelling shit at her like “Ricky Leeeeee,woooo!” and “party!” I watched with some amusement as the crowd around us were becoming uncomfortable and increasingly annoyed with their antics. Ricky was only about twenty feet away and stared at them with an angry scowl which went undetected by our three drunken party girls, but I noticed, and started to enjoy myself for the first time that evening.
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Ricky’s first number was some kind of dramatic, gentle piano solo and the whole crowd was enraptured until one of the chicks in our party jumped to her feet and shouted, “Chuckee’s in Love, wooooot wooo!”
I could see she was getting pissed off and tried to stifle laughter while sinking deeper into my seat.
The delicate, talented artist finished her piano solo, (I think she cut it short) and walked to the edge of the stage and glared down at the girls and told them to shut the fuck up, (or something similar.) The drunken girls were shocked, and looked around thinking she surely wasn’t talking to them. Rickey Lee chastened them further and questioned their upbringing. At that point, one of the dudes with us stood up indignantly and pulled his ticket stub out of his pocket, held it high and symbolically ripped it in half, and saying, “Let’s go!”
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My prayers were answered, we left and I only had to endure one shitty song. The girls were alternately crying and cussing out Rickey Lee all the way home.
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The next morning the local morning show D.J. had been there and discussed, on air, the rude behavior of some of the front row guests and Rickey’ reaction to it.
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If I remember correctly, I didn’t get laid that night, but it was a memorable evening nonetheless.
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True story.
C-O-D-P-I-E-C-E? What?
I smoked hash at an NRBQ show once and it wasn’t an accident and I meant it.
I went to a Steve Miller Band concert and got in trouble for having a lazer pointer. And I’m pretty sure I got a second hand high. Because I had serious second hand munchies afterwards.
One time, at Lillith Faire I was afraid I was become a second hand lesbian. So I held my breath the whole time.
@Hermit
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Did ya kick the shit out of the fags? Ricki Lee Jones is the spawn of Satan and all else evil? Worst thing I ever saw was CSNY at Stowe. Fucking Phish had me so worked up with anger by the time the old hippies came on I was ready to kill any musician or cornroll or patchoulli of afghan wearing neck beard. I’m still fucking mad thinking about that waste of hemoglobin on that stage. Carousel I tell you. I settled down for a decade and took the then pregnant and ravishing semite Mrs. Kroeger to see them again just after 9/11 while we were waiting for our new world indigo child Lily Suzanna to be born and move into our mansion. It was an innocent time so we figured we’d give them another chance. Fucking Oakville, that city was so full of phomy fucks that I thought my neighbour was the devil and started hitting him with a fucking hammer. Anyway, so were watch some stupid band called Rusted Root and I was fucking hammered, that’s why I brought my wife. So the hippies come on the stage again and played Rockin In The Free World before doing versions of their classic stuff filled with not solos but rambling anti-Bush speeches and shit. I lost it again and was the only person in the place booing and swearing and smoking dope. Fucking yuppies. They started to turn on me like the slaves to civilization that they are. Compliant robots created out of misguided overeducates posing at protesters with a mission for yea those few fragmented seconds in the scope of history destined to be miserable Machine serving instruments. Mrs.Kroeger says to me we got to go before you get in a fight and I’m pregnant. So I tells her. You’re not that pregnant yet. She recoils, waiting for the foot to the belly she was afraid of. I never thought of hurting the baby or the subsequent Hell Beast. Until now!
I drank myself silly at a Koko Taylor show in Cambridge and supposedly tried to pull her wig off after the show at which point I was roughed up by her security. I was hammered and have no recollection but my buddies still to this day insist that it indeed did happen.
Rusted Root sucks Alpaca balls!!!!!.
I took a dump on the floor at The Antique Road Show once.
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Rev, you’re da bomb.
When I was three I asked my parents if I could invite Neil Diamond to dinner. They said yes. So I called him on my fake plastic telephone. Spoiler alert: He never showed up.
@Hermit 3:50p How much did they say it was worth?
^Was it worth at least two shits?
One time, as prank, I switched out an Oingo Boingo CD with a Bel Biv Devoe CD because they looked the same with the big BMG symbol on it. So when my friiend put it in to hear “Dead Man’s Party” she heard “Poison” instead. Hahahahahahaha! Good times. The look on her face was like “Whaaaa? This isn’t Oingo Boingo!” And I was like “No its not! Gotcha!” In the end it taught her a lesson about never trusting me again, so I think everybody won.
@Et Tu and Rev- I have never known anyone who liked Rusted Root who wasn’t well into their thirties and still living with either their parents or like 6-7 other hippie cock gobblers. They are the worst of the worst.
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I pulled an arm length pube out of the back of my throat after a Bonnie Raitt concert. Twice.
I dunno, I kinda like it. It’s women who understand they’re currency and try to make sure they get the highest exchange rate.
I read a Rolling Stone magazine on the toilet once. But it was the larger print edition for people with bad eyesight.
@Mr. Biggs, they’re worth two bus tokens and one of those tickets you win at the Fair for flirting with a carnie, tops.
Nancy 3:56
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Those gay twins told me it wasn’t worth a shit.
I heaved aloft my iPhone with the Zippo lighter app at a concert 2 years ago. I’m pretty sure I was the first one to think of doing that.
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Well, at a Testament concert, during “Souls of Black”, anyway…Chuck Billy thought it was funny, anyway…gave me a grinning thumbs up.
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Well now I gotta tell the band we’re doing a death metal version of Ricky Lee’s “Chuck E.’s In Love”, with Cookie Monster vocals. This should vault us up to the lower middle of local Biloxi bands. Besides the casino cock-sucks, who do not count….”Whoa! They’re playing BROWN EYED GIRL!!!! W00T!!! Dih’nt see that comin!!!!”
The only way these gold-diggers will ever get the smell of fermented sucker-douche sperm out:
Quote:
“3:26 pm June, 26 Nancy Dreuche said…
One time, at Lillith Faire I was afraid I was become a second hand lesbian. So I held my breath the whole time.”
Second hand? Lesbians? Get it!?
Those dumb chicks have more issues than a microsoft operating system.
Does DarkSock make giant glass blown flying dicks in the back yard?
Let’s hope these baguettes are good at sucking a dick. Cause their singing is crap.
My guess is the kind of guys they attract don’t know the difference between good and bad cocksuckery.
“I don’t care how firm the butt bongos are. The Holy Ganesh needs to summon a rain to wash away this wretched hive of scum and villainy en toto.”
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And yet here you are promoting them. I would never heard of this had it not been posted here. Didn’t you learn your lesson with Snooki?
@ Stephanie:
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Oh, yeahhh…I make giant flying dicks in the “back yard”, alright…
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And by that I mean I load Jeff Stryker dildos into my potato cannon and launch them anonymously across the bay at my uppity honky water-neighbors.
Knowledge is power, Fatness.
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If not for Dick Clark’s Special Christmas Episode in 1946, we’d have never known about Auschwitz. Or The Dave Clark Five. Who somehow are in the fucking Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, WHILE RUSH IS FUCKING NOT!
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Don’t shoot the massager.
Even though those hotts are all kinds of horrible, I’d still tap that.
Cause I’m desperate like that.
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Homies.
These ladies are consolidating their future through their vaginas and titties. The bright side is they are all about one decade away from M.S.S.*
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*Milky Snakebag Syndrome
^As are the cast of TrueBlood.
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Medical FACT.
Off-topic:
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Vin, did you know that for the price of a cheap Wal-Mart flat-screen you can have your strat or telly outfitted by a Parsons White B-Bender, by Gene Parsons himself? This is THE Gene Parsons, from The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers, who hand-made the BB for Jimmy Page of Zeppelin, Bernie Leadon of The Eagles (used on “Peaceful Easy Feeling”), and Albert Lee of Love.
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Cool.
Wait, RUSH isn’t in the R and R Hall of Fame? That’s weird. Maybe the lead guy should write a song about it in that whiney voice of his.
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@Stephanie, If there is one thing I’ve learned its people with glass dicks should not throw stones at other people with glass dicks.
I fucking hate Cabela’s. I went into a Cabela’s for the first time yesterday and over half the customers there were wearing FULL hunting camo. The rest were wearing at least one article of camo clothing with either the Under Armor or Carhartt emblem on it.
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Newsflash, fuck-tards. You are NOT in the goddamn forest! Just because you drive a pickup and have a hunting license, doesn’t mean you have to wear your hunting gear all the damn time. Maybe their hoping if they blend in with the forest even when their not anywhere near any trees, they’ll finally bag a whitetail instead of squatting in a tree stand drinking beer all day without seeing a single wild creature.
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Yeah, I also jack off a couple times a year, but that doesn’t mean I go shopping for silicon spatulas at Sur La Table wearing my girlfriends panties!
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Fuck.
That is some funny shit, Jacques. I almost pissed myself but that might just be an enlarged prostate. Good to laugh after half a night of insomnia and realizing that I should have waited another 26 years to watch The Breakfast Club for the first and last time. I’d bang those young girls though. Not the current versions they look like fucking lepers. Haven’t seen much of them lately. Maybe I should pull a talent manager on them like my old friend Bert Ward, Tv’s Robin from Batman. He used to hang around with this Canadian rag-trade dude and they had some money in Hollywood and pick up girls and give them business cards and fuck them. But wearing camo all the time is Redneck douche. Bass Pro and a Canadian one Le Baron are all the same except that I assume a lower percentage of people wear camo to drive around town here. Standard rule for conversion from American to Canadian is always 10:1. except for money which now is about even because of all the crooks that took the banks down on Wall Street and cause my alcoholism to flourish.
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Gecco’s
Wow! Still awake and the little shits will be up in two hours. I got pretty deep into the booze, and ludes, and weed, and the tunes. Man. Stoned and getting deep into the dark mood before the evil sun appears from behind the clatter of the fuckings animal and birds and shit.
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@DarkSock –
No point in running the calculator – if plinky’s mom hit the earth at anything resembling cosmic speeds, that would simply be it – the End – lights out – we all die in a tidal wave of blubber. The few who survive the impact (people under ground or in prison) then expire a few days later from the stench of rotting Plinky poo and the millions of gallons of spooge she collected in her 10th stomach from her career as the BJ Queen of Keansburg NJ.
Nothing wrong in LA that a rise in sea level can’t cure.
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Son.
These bitches have more cleft in their chins than Donkey Douche. They should call themselves the Kurt Douglas Krew.
I don’t know how I could possibly be mad that I only got to watch half of t because it wouldn’t load all the way, and think it is the worst thing ever made at the same time. The only thing could help it is if they all took turns setting thier phones on vibrate up thier hoo-haws and calling each other. Nice bodies, ugly mugs
These bitches better make the most of their leeching while they can, because they don’t look like they are getting any younger. If those leathery faces sag any more, they’ll be lucky to “gold dig” a Sonic gift card and a can of Four-Loko off the oil-change wigga down at the Jiffy Lube.
okay i get it. you girls can’t sing.
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY Let me start by saying I’m back off a pleasant weekend off to see this petri dish of specimens slap-chop their way through some quote-unquote music and it’s aggravating my condition. These gashes understand the meaning of the word ‘codependent” like Alanis Morrisette understands the meaning of the word “ironic”. Mark this down as Exhibit Q that humanity is truly fucked in ways not previously conceived. The only dudes who would cosign these three camel-faced cum dumpsters are either middle management washups with decent quarterly bonuses, or fifth-string athletes who never see more gameday action than changing their socks after the final whistle. Whoever picked out those swimsuits clearly had no idea how to best flatter the wide-waisted, pancake-titted mummies they’d be forced to spend all day looking at. I’m feverishly dreaming of the sound of their brittle ankles snapping as they stagger and stumble on those cheap, LA flea-market pumps. Yeah. I’m a midwestern, vegetable-pulling old hag and I know a cheap, piece of shit pair of discount shoes when I see one. When all three of them are back at their day jobs, managing a Forever 21 store in SLO, hopefully every customer comes in and has a hearty laugh at the three pleather-skinned skags who dreamed of hitting it big and instead became this weeks laughing stock of the internet. May God have no mercy on their souls.
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Skipper.
rosanna is one of my favorite songs of all time