Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Pop Quiz: Oily Bohunks and Ass Pear
Pop Quiz:
Q: What’s worse than seeing a smug and unappreciative oily bohunk surrounded by a sea of chompable pear?
A. The Holocaust
B. The Khmer Rouge
C. Years 5-12 of The Black Death
D. Marathon episodes of back-to-back “According to Jim,” Ludovico style
E. Nothing
F) playing circus seal to said pear after an Olestra chugging contest
After Manos & his “Real Doll” girlfriend, the copious amount of pear is much appreciated on this steamy hot first day of Summer.
Mmmmmm!!!!! copious amounts of pear.
G) Finding out one of your main Broheims watches “The Bachelorette”.
I call dibs on the 2nd pear from the left. I’m willing to fight you bastards for that.
BLACK TANGA FTW!!
H.) Front-row seats at the first annual Olestra-Chip Eating/100 yard sprint bi-athlon.
F) Find out exactly what you had for dinner after visiting the Baron Von Goolo residence right after Halloween.
Tuesday Pear?
Dark Sock must have over thrown the king…
I approve of this Ass Pear.
G) Realizing that you only THOUGHT you had escaped the playpen.
H) The fact that I’m not the one “stuck” in the middle of that orchard of pear.
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Bambino.
I have to go with E. Nothing is worse. There is at least a lesson to be learned from the other tragedies, but there is no moral to this rich dickhead’s story.
I.) Receiving judgment cast down uponst you by The Six Brown Eyes Of…JUSTICE.
J.) Suddenly realizing gay plaid shorts render you inexplicably impotent at the worst possible time.
K.) Professing in a public forum that you would in fact like to make passionate sweet love to Black Thong’s butt hole.
L.) Dropping to your knees with a massive coronary just as you reach total enlightenment and realize you’re coming back as Girl Shit.
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^…what? No, I didn’t get that one either.
M.) Having all the girls you’re mackin’ on simultaneously turn and swoon when K. D. Lang walks onto the pool deck.
M.) Making passionate sweet love to Black Thongs Butthole only to realize that the man before you peed into it.
N) Finding half a smug and unappreciative oily bohunk in your chompable pear.
I think we all know why he’s not interested.
Oh, and happy gap for the win!
O) Getting a sext from DarkSock.
XX) getting double calf cramps at the fava bean eating festival
2nd from the right has that perfect Ace of Spades gap that is rarely seeni n the wild. how this guy can just sit there and pose twixt this awesome gathering of rosebud is beyond me. I would be laying on my back, tongue out, and have like 6 circus midgets with hand lights guiding them in like air traffic controllers. Hopefully, none of the afforementioned olestra, poo cocktail, or piss cocktail events would occur. Or there will be some stabbings.
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Fanny Bandits
P). Drunkenly driving your Porsche 100 mph into a tree like some kind of jackass?
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What, too soon for bad puns?
R) Walking in to your roomate whacking it to an episode of “Davey & Goliath?”
Q) This
I will print this picture out and this pud’s image with my boner. That works for me in so many ways. Like spitten after I am stroked vigorously.
Q. Realizing that every one of these glorious specimens is dippy enough and possessed of so little self-esteem, that she will gladly pose for the benefit of such a lamefuck dude. Were my ass so tight and nomable, I would only pose with a gaggle of hotties in the confines of the Playpen, the only thing between us all a large tub of Wesson oil.
Anesthesia free prostate surgery on a roller coaster using a rusty and jagged lid from a can of jalapeño peppers and performed by a doctor with Parkinson’s disease and leprosy.
we have a winnah!
shawk….. +not covered by insurance.
F. Finding a homeless family in the grill of your car after a night of drinking.
G. Finding Britney Spears’s’s’s Bologna Ring in your mouth after a night of drinking.
H. Waking up in the same country as Amy Winehouse after a long night of drinking.
I just see glorious pear and a piece of poo. No douche here.
I. Waking up in betweeen Ke$ha and Gaga- no condom, no lube, and no idea why your asshole is bleeding.
The Pearcolypse is upon us. I study Asstronomy so I know I’m right. Give me money and you will be saved.
XXX…Discovering you’re a mere li’l pink strawberry in a fruit bowl of pear…
I wish these girls would just let out a collective group fart right at the same moment. Chick power!
@Stephanie, chick power indeed, girlfriend. Chick power indeed.
How about explosive diarrhea on a transatlantic flight?
F. Reaching up under your date’s dress to find a venomous serpent, a half bottle of diet Snapple<sup® and a bag of writhing earthworms.
My head just exploded. That fuckin’ hurt. Thanks, boss.
XX. Realizing you are the family on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and you didn’t apply.
YYZ. Realizing that Ty Pennington is actually a man.
Signus X1. Realizing that the whole solstice festival was part of an elaborate waking dream. Hope the kids aren’t in the pool.
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Druids
Realizing that you are the hard piece stuck in Cee-Lo Green’s rectum when he recorder that Fuck Off song.
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My Niggas
Those are some quality tails..
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Haters
CIA) Waking up, surrounded by these ass pears, seeing them from the front.
R.) Being at the wrong place at the wrong time in the 2014 US Olympic Synchronized Pooping Team’s training camp.
lamenting the fact that you decided against the yardstick tatt on your forearm
You know he’s gay right?
Do yourselves a favor. Download that photo. Then zoom it *real* big. Them tails stand up to the scrutiny. No cottage cheese, no bite marks. Nice.
What’s wrong with bite marks? You racist against lamprey or sumthin’?
^That is, of course, a photograph of Baron Von Goolo’s cockk.
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Don’t ask me how Nancy got it.
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Lettermen.
And sure, while Black Thong on the middle in the right is getting well-deserved recognition….allow me to direct your eye to the middle bubble-butt on the left….
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She just gravied the biscuit that resides in my pants.
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I would eat a Quizno’s out of her ass.
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Fletch.
E. At least with the others there’s hope for the future.
Man, you wanna impress me, have them surround you and rub their butts on your face like some reverse maypole dance. Because right now I’m just thinking you’re not into this sort of thing. WTF.
all at once, as if syncronized, a symphony of BLAAAART rang out, causing Timmy to collapse & wilt on the turf
the Khmer Rouge really was as weird as it was brutal.