Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

3:47 pm June, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Being that the Summer Solstice just hit, it’s appropriate to kick off the season with a Jersey Protodouche. I will be douche hunting next week as I start my vacation “down the shore.” Let the mocking commence!

3:51 pm June, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

I think Angie is engaged to his abs. And if they’re registered at IKEA I’ll buy them a Kütënädärgën to go with their Umlatagen.

4:10 pm June, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

These two have been on here before. It wasn’t too long ago but I’m just too fuccen lazy to look it up. I remember because the asshole looks like that steroid-takin’excuse-makin’-Yankmees douche Andy Petit. Paging Wheezer. Paging Wheezer.

4:31 pm June, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer lord, they’ve mated!
.
Speaking of which, HCwDB’s got some linky love from Ace in http://minx.cc/?post=317971 .

5:01 pm June, 23 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Doc… I was going to say, “Looks like retirement has been good to Andy Pettite.”

5:19 pm June, 23 creature said...

without a Bowflex Santino is just an ugly guid with a huge schnozz
…it’s big like a pickle!

5:48 pm June, 23 creature said...

…now if he could just wear the shirt over his face

7:29 pm June, 23 The Dude said...

His arms are so big, he should join the Army. And get deployed somewhere far, far away.

7:56 pm June, 23 Steve L. said...

if by “move on” you mean running them over with a mining truck…
…
okay we’ll just run Tony over. Angie looks like a party girl, but not a bleeth yet.

8:25 pm June, 23 Troy Tempest said...

Angie farts pixie dust.
Tony farts wet dripping turds.

8:51 pm June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I guess give the dude a little credit. He is ugly as fuck but works out. If I was that ugly, I would probably only shower a few times a month and wear old sweats most days. The janitor where I work is better looking than that guy and he wears a jumpsuit and about 65 keys all day long.
She is not hot. By comparison, she makes Kate hudson look hot and Kate Hudson lookslike someone hit her between the eyes with a boat anchor.

9:28 pm June, 23 DarkSock said...

Olestra Haiku:
.
They stay thin with chips;
Anal leakage drives off friends,
But they’re both pre-lubed!

9:52 pm June, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Yoda Haiku

Ugly lobster abs;
Blonde whose face chops its own wood;
Mock them both, you must.

10:07 pm June, 23 The Dude said...

His arms are so huge
and Heather is so Locklear
I must purge this thought.

10:25 pm June, 23 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

There’s all kinda bulging goin’ on here besides abs.

12:25 am June, 24 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Those aren’t just lights. Those are sconces. Which makes this guy all the more a dick.
.
Fuck you, dick. And your damn sconces.

3:01 am June, 24 Sir David Douchenborough said...

“Hey, so what do you do Tony?”
*Flashes abs*
“That’s all nice and everything, but I am just curious. Do you have any hobbies, interests? Can you carry a semi-coherent conversation that does not include the words “jacked,” “bro,” or “affliction?”
.
*Flashes abs*
“Are you related to Corky from Life Goes On?”
*Flashes abs*
” I see. Just stay away from vans with the word ‘Candy’ on them, and I best be on my way.”

3:23 am June, 24 The Right Honorable Member for, The Very Reverend Mother Her Duchal Serene Highness, Dr. Hortense Sussudio Fuckerfaster said said...

unfortunately for tony, angie has been wearing edible underwear for 12 hours, the only way to get any now, is to lick them off, with abs like that, its an offer he must refuse.

4:34 am June, 24 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Tony’s lifestyle choices include avoiding carbs and doing anything that could be construed as being in good taste.

5:26 am June, 24 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Isn’t ab flashing soooo 2008?
.
.
.Enough with the ab flashing.
.
.
.When will Angie’s ass flashing start?
.
.PS Happy Hunting @Douchey Walnuts!

6:35 am June, 24 Douche Wayne said...

1) She’s just filing her nails.
2) I believe they’re referred to as “sconces.”
3) The couch was on sale, and of poor quality.
4) Agreed.

10:34 am June, 24 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Sir David, have you been spying on me during my forays into dating? I only wish I was smooth enough to drop a “child molester van” reference when mackin’ on hot guys.

12:45 pm June, 24 Stephanie said...

Tony cuts lawns in Jersey,and the abs are all he’s been working on…

5:54 pm June, 24 Denny said...

Looks like a bunch of tumors on his belly…Id get that looked at by a good doctor

9:54 am June, 25 anonymous said...

Best part of Friday is PooPoo Haiku.

11:51 am June, 25 Douchie Arnaz said...

Hate to say it, but I think the dude gets a “notta”. No tatts, no bling, regular clothes, great honker…..