Friday Thoughts and Links
Taxi Belt. Must be Friday.
For those wondering, last week’s vote to consider Barely Legal Kelly for our hallowed Hall of Hott didn’t come close.
However it reminded me how many quality boobie hottie suckle thighs we’ve featured over the past few months. Maybe it’s time we held a vote.
Got your favorite hottie? Post the title in the comments thread and in a week or so, we’ll see which suckle taut deserves consideration.
Your humble narrator remains in New York for a few more days, where the stalking of East Village lithe chomp hotts with iProducts continues.
As does perfect New York pizza. Get your own slice here.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Damn! You rise out of the grave and run out of ammunition!”
Remember kids, true HCwDB Hall of Scrote legends don’t fade away. They just begin to resemble confused bonobo monkeys.
Five year old unholy demon spawn of pretty boy Bush/Blur singer guy from 1996 and pretend punk Gwen Stephani is rapidly being turned into a faux skater douchewipe. Sorry, kid. You were doomed from birth.
Too much gas? Try the wind relieving yoga pose.
In the future, could iScreeners help? Or hurt? What if the ladies find out about my alpaca fetish?
Bug Penis is Loud. But you knew that.
The Russian Soccer Team will now play in bikinis. And the Bolshevik revolution is complete.
But you are not just here for Russian soccer hotties in bikinis. Although you should be. Here’s your Pear:
Enjoy. For the weekend, as is wont to happen after half a fortnight has passed, is upon us again.
Bikini Clara from July 06 for HoH.
Slutty Pool Pear is tops! Love that rarely seen rearview-boob.
Ha Ha! Bonobo monkeys!
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Fuck Fish flap!
Is The Slap wearing guyliner?
A bonobo monkey has about 25 IQ points on F. Fish Slap.
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Hey! Wouldn’t it be cool if this gal was yer grandmama?
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Fishslap, how many wristbands does it take to get into an all-male topless street bash?
Fishslap: [Sticks out one finger, hoots twice] Ooooooh! Oooooh!
We know, we know. You meant three. Get out of here and back to your bros, you muscle skulled condo salesman. And pull your shorts down. You look less stupid than the other guys.
I’ll admit it: That Milk bit from Sesame Street always made me feel anxious and sad as a little pre-school White. I don’t know if it was the slightly off-kilter music, the brutally gray overcast outdoor shots, or the kid freaking out, but it always made me feel like something was very wrong, and that somehow I, too, was unsafe and vulnerable.
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Where’s Medusa? I desperately need a cuddle/spank.
Barstool Smokeshow Susie from Michigan State could cause countries to go to war . I am going straight to hell faster than Poppa Squatter got into the Closet of Poo for what I wanna do to her:
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I’m gonna go take a dip in the pool. Don’t wait up, y’all…
@ Vin Douchal
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Susie’s 10-year-old sister isn’t going to be happy when she finds out her skirt is missing.
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I, on the other hand, am delighted that Susie raids her sister’s wardrobe.
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And by delighted I mean turgid.
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And then there’s Slutty Pool Pear, who’s amber glowing globes (all four of them) remind me that soft, fuzzy, plump peaches are cumming into season.
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Ha! I said “cumming”. What I meant to say was “cumming”. Haha! Hoo! Heh, I mean “spurting”. No! “Squirting!” “EJACULATION!”
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Damn.
Mmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! Slutty Pool Pear
My vote for HoH is Layla of
Long Island Bob And Layla
She sure can rock a pair of FMB’s
I usually go for this maneuver
^which leads me to believe Pool Pear may be passing gas in that pic
Of course my HOH nom goes to none other than Evil Bert of Bin Lame-O and Evil Bert. But yeah, I’m not holding my breath.
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And who need iScreeners when you’ve got this place? I’ve required a wealth of information on the inner workings of today’s sophisticated male. Thank you one and all for letting me lurk.
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One more thing, have hot monkey sex with Fish Slap!
Back in my day.
We didn’t have Iproducts to stalk the hotts. We had pork, and we liked it. We would roam with our gang of kids from the neighborhood, every street had a gang. Not like these gangs today, we respected our elders. We looked out for the neighbors. Girls liked it when we stalked them with pork.
Except for the Muslim and Jewish girls. we didn’t know anything about that back then. When they would take off running, we assumed it was because they wanted us to chase them. Even if you were stuck in the house, or on the porch, if there was a pork chase down your street, you grabbed a cutlet, or a shoulder, and came along.
Kids today wouldn’t be bothered running down the street with pork. They have better things to do, like video games.How will these kids ever find out which girls even make the best tenderloin
^What I wouldn’t give for a good ol’ fashioned pork chase. You knew when a guy came at you with a side of bacon that you were his girl. So you pinned a strip to your sweater so everyone knew you were going steady. Meatie from your Sweetie is what we used to call it. Simpler times back then. Simpler times.
Slutty pool pear is almost enough to make me stop obsessing about how badly I want Jay Leno to DIE. Almost!
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Lovely Susie reminds me of when I used to have constant huge erections. She also reminds me of the younger first cousin of mine who used to ride my groin gavel like a biker chick but it was weird because she looked exactly like my mother at given ages.
Bikini Clara. And pie. And pi.
Remember our conversation about hot L.A. TV news babes? Lauren Sanchez was a popular topic.
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Well somehow I found a hand boob photo of Lauren . Check it out HERE
@nancy,
things were better when people knew the pork code. well for everyone who wasn’t dietary restricted, many a times i spent dreaming my baby got back ribs.
what is up with those yoga positions, the wind reliever?
says it also can help a stiff back.
fuck to the that.
if you have trouble farting, and you get yourself in that knot? you are going to seriously mess up a pair of yoga pants by the time you make it to the bowl.
i advise any russian soccer players to shave her minsk, or everyone will be staring at irkutsk
@guy with all the stuff goin on, Sharing that glass of hot fudge barbecue sauce sundae with two straws and pouring over the Deli coupons from the Piggly Market was the perfect way to spend an evening. When that special guy would hand you a chop and say “Hey, I thought of you when I saw this.”, you couldn’t wait to run home and tell all your girlfriends. Everyone would gather round and compare meats, giggling. The air was rich with tenderizer and on occasion paprika, usually from the foreign kid who just learning the ropes. You never really forget your first cutlet, in fact, some say its the deepest.
^ Pork chase?
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Matthew Stafford Flamenco Jam Session
the quartasian hot next to envyus gets my vote. she’s perfect.
here’s the link for people too lazy to scroll down three or four posts.
I should add that Vanessa of the Double D’s next to her ain’t too bad either.
Oh and uh, Pork Fish Slap, or Fish Pork Slap, whatever it is you kids are calling it these days.
when I rub my rigid creature thang across my sagging gut it makes a raucus fwapping sound that can be heard for blocks
….my neighbors think I club seals in my flat
I tell them that’s just me playing my ‘ukulele’
…they bought that tale
@rev
c’mon you seem like a man who’s old enough to remember hoggin.
personally i loved to offer my lady a corned beef brisket, nothing says romance like salty fuccen brine.
federalis
^My Jew wife actually did like my recipe for Portuguese Pork Tenderloin when we were dating and has always liked the sausiche but I have never heard of running around with pork as a mating ritual. I’m into it though. Next week at my high school reunion I am going to roll my doobs with pork fat infused papers. Mrs. Kroeger will not be there because she knows how many girls I porked in the day. Maybe wear a link of bratwurst instead of a tie.
@Rev, maybe its just a US thing. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of it though. I still have the meat of the first boy I ever kissed pressed between the pages of my highschool yearbook. Its more of a jerky now though.
I cannot unsee that Abrocalypse thank you very much. I will never understand the propensity to want to tan yourself into the same colour as what evacuates from your bowels. Are they some sort of latrine special operations forces about which I am unaware? If so, I will no longer visit a port-a-potty every again. On the other hand, it could just be that Hans and his Scheisse fetish has now seeped into the subconscious of the most vulnerable of our society. I would pity them if I didn’t want to nominate for the next one way space mission to the Pegasus Galaxy.
@Sir David! What up, my favorite Canadian bag hunter? So tell me you’ve at least heard about the Pork code.
NyQuil runs down my chin, and on to the dirty carpet, like the blood of menstruating virgins.
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forgive me.
@Vin 2:33
I like the way you think when it comes to hot Latina newscasters, keep up the good work.
I nominate Stephanie McGee:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/04/hcwdb-of-the-month-the-tardopoulous-brothers-and-stephanie-mcgee/#comments
And second Anon’s nomination of Stephanie–Hairoheto’s girl…
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/EmperorHairoHeato2.png
I paused at echudouche’s nomination, and I can get behind her anyday too.
look at the weather-beaten veins popping out of Slutty Pool Pear’s hand!
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that’s SEXY. like, CIA agent SEXY.
or something.
These two can’t accessorize worth a damn. Guy’s wearing ska braces/belt on one pair of pants. Looks like he’s not taking his pants any time soon,either.
pants off anytime soon…ah…fuck it.
Fish Slap is playing the new and popular douchebag poolside drinking game, “Point at the Nipple.”
Upon further review, Fish Slap looks like Jason Kidd of the World Champion Dallas Mavericks.
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http://inside.nike.com/servlet/JiveServlet/downloadImage/2902/kidd_lg.jpg
I nominate Arielle to be enshrined in the hallowed Hall: Hottest Hott of the Year #2: Arielle from “The Fratbrosephus Bros”. She’s got the Mayan Eye, and I have to have faith that she gave that pair of douches the slip without casting the coital eye their way. Without her, the “Hall of Hott” is just “The Hall of Meh”.
Still around Nancy. I should really check my e-mail though from time to time to catch up on what is going on. I have heard of the Pork code. As part of creating a suspenseful leadup, I tend to focus a lot on the marinating, using all manners and whims of the eloquent English language to describe the spices and rubs I use. It works…sometimes.
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Finally found a way to make soccer exciting…fuckin Russians!
Moped Mike May or May Not Be a Douche But Bikini Clara is Tasty