Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Old Man Liver

He jussssttttt keeps douchin’… he jusssstttt keeps douchin’…. alonggggg…

Giggle Ladies with Daddy Issues, Part 2

Continuing our recent study of Giggle Ladies with Daddy Issues (GLwDI), here’s Maria and Consuela getting back at their dad for moving them out of state back in 2nd grade.

The tool of their revenge, and by tool I mean tool: “Tommy Pak.”

Poor, poor Mario.

He just wanted a better life for his kids.

He’ll carry the karmic and existential pain of Tommy Pak through the retirement years.

Pop Quiz: Flingers at a Pool Party

Two Flingers find themselves in the presence of tasty taught Giggle Ladies With Daddy Issues (GLwDI) at a sunset pool party. Do they:

A. Decide to make conversation meant to get to know the Giggle Ladies on a better and more personal level

B. See if they’d like any additional food and beverages, and make inquiries as to if they’re getting cold and would like to stand closer to the portable heater lamps

C. Recount erudite anecdotes from their last academic conference attended

D. Give the middle finger to a nearby camera

Answer now.

Randy Doggiebaggin Pretends to Like Stacy

Sure Randy Doggiebaggin will demonstrate his patented Doggie ‘Baggin’ move on Stacy when cameras are present.

That’s for appearances.

But it’s only during Private Bro Time that Randy can truly get chizzle.

One Word Tuesday:

Coprophagia.

Tatticus Finch

We’ve seen bad tatt wipewanks hitting on Pocahontas Hotties.

And we’ve seen really bad tatt wipewanks hitting on Pocahontas Hotties.

But ne’er have we seen the heinosity that is “Blackjack Crotch.”

I mock and bird Tatticus Finch.

And I feed a sammich to Kelly, while surreptitiously surveying her wedding ring for truth value.

The Byronbag

From Byron Bay, Australia, comes this Aussie toolshed and tasty Sheila Hott.

Count up the signifiers, Mates:

Six pound watch.
Stupid shirt.
Half-finished garish tatt.
Glazed expression.

And sweet, sweet, Sheila, with the giggly breasteses, who’s never been on a plane and is very uneasy around Aborigones.

Yet more depressing evidence of the global spread of the Grieco Plague.

Fratbros and Sorority Girls With Miller Lights Approve of the HCwDB of the Week

They’ve got a trig midterm tomorrow, and they’re being chased by Guido The Killer Pimp.

Time of your life, eh kids?

HCwDB of the Week: The Lancelot Boyz and Perfectly Hot PTA Mom Vanessa

With a late-week run of pics, including Lancelot Boy Melvin and Stephanie, a Classic ‘Bag Sandwich on Laurie, and once again Bothering Vanessa and her Bestie in a Room Full of Bros, it wasn’t even close.

And yes, that’s Perfect PTA Hottie Vanessa in both pics, as proven by this side-by-side created by reader Douchble Helix.

Our first entrant in the next HCwDB of the Month brings the hott side hott, and the douche side toady.

Thassa lotta shirtless douchery in the presence of A List Gnaw Girls. More than enough to win a deserved place in our next Monthly.

For the L.B.s are real world preening spectacle of zombified unthinking neo-Nordic fascism and leaders in the future war of ethnic cleansing and eugenics.

Okay, maybe that’s a tad far. But more than enough to trump the oafish clownish meth addictions of Riff Raff and Stripper Girl #45.

Although honorable mention must be paid to the perfect spackkle pear of Amazonian Stripper Pair and Holy Cleavite of Tonya the Tiger in Willie The Kidd Discovers the Rare Amazonian Stripper Pear.

Also props to Bolivian Slip hangin’ with Lounge Lizard Larry Borrows 40 Bucks. That’s a tasty third world milkshake of fondle grab I haven’t seen since gun running for Zapata during the revolution.

Riff Raff Gets Lucky

And by Lucky, I mean the Hep C.