Friday, September 2, 2011

    Slash: ‘Bag / Nottabag via the Rockstar Leniency Rule

    Here’s an interesting test of the Rockstar Leniency Rule.

    This pic is from Slash’s recent wedding. While no one denies Slash’s impact on music and talents as a guitarist, his style has always been part of the dress up performativity from his GnR days. Thus the hat, hair, etc. are a sort of costume likened to a fictional presence, and therefore performative.

    That being said, it’s hard not to find Slash pretty damn douchey, as many have debated.

    I’m on the fence. Certainly the top hat look was RLR, just as it was for Axl Rose’s mandana thing.

    But twenty five years later? Middle age? David Lee Roth knew when to give up the spandex and rocker hair.

    Does Slash’s ‘tude cross over and earn ‘bag status? Or does RLR continue?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, September 2, 2011

    Friday Haiku

    Tina Topps kicks off
    The Burning Mamm Festival
    With Sammy SmallHands.

    Nice try, mini-me
    Your small hands cannot hide her
    vast…..disappointment.

    — Wedgie



    “What’s ‘taters, Precious?”
    asks Gollum as he fondles
    over-ripe melons.

    — Douche Wayne

    Free mammogram sign
    Misleads southern hott once more;
    Brother doesn’t care.

    — Ed Hardouche

    Short, slutty, and
    Carrying giant tits is
    A great startin point.

    — Reverend Chad Kroeger

    Basketball tryouts
    At Pismo Beach this weekend;
    Sammy Is ready.

    — Medusa Oblongata

    With one push of her
    nipple, Sam got free drinks all
    day for the whole crowd.

    — Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    With every boob press
    There came a wet plop on floor;
    Pile o’ fetuses.

    — Elastic Snap-Hole of the Love Bear

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    Ask DB1: The Baby Daddy ‘Bag?

    ———
    DB1,

    I propose a new Douche category: The Baby Daddy Douche.

    We have all seen them, as we enjoy an adult beverage sitting outside our favorite pubs. Here they come,proudly pushing their progeny in a cheap umbrella handle stroller that they bought at the Goodwill.

    Wifebeater??.. check. Wife beater tucked into their halfway down their ass, oversized manpries??.. check. Chin fung.??.. check. 30 degree hat tilt on their Yankee’s hat.??.. check. Crappy lime green tats on arms,back and neck??… check.

    Unfortunately,you will never see a Baby Daddy Douche on HCWDB.The reason,you only see a Baby Daddy Douche with his larger then life baby momma, who is wearing a pair of jeggings stretched paper thin by her large backside,and a pablum stained mumu top.Oh,and the babies hands tattooed on their cleavage.

    Your opinion please.

    sincerely,
    the Flying Douche
    ———-

    Good point, TFD. The Baby Daddy Douche is rarely seen on HCwDB because the BDD is rarely with hot chick. Since he’s ruined his douchin’ years by not wearin’ a raincoat during the proverbial coital windstorm and is now in hock for child support and alimony until that scratch ticket investment plan finally pays off.

    Lets go with some K-Fed/Britney remembrances of things past (Proust) as we delve into the nostalgia of yesteryear to illustrate the concept.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    The Unibro

    The Unibro is, how you say, a peemp.

    Not a pimp.

    A peemp.

    It’s like a pimp.

    Only hairier.

    Sanjine and Pritya have curves that make Vishnu high ten Ganesh.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    Livee the Dream

    Over 18.

    Under 21.

    Straight pimpin’ rollin’ gangsta style in Woodland Hills, California at 3pm on a Tuesday.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    The Billybag Brothers and Tiny Amanda Hott Go to a Frat Party

    Which is douchier, the douche tatt done in ink or the douche tatt done in magic marker?

    Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

    But, as always, we’ve learned that Jesus died for your chest shave.

    And that Leopard Boobies cure Lupus. Pass it on.

    # posted by douchebag1