Saturday, December 31, 2011
Champagne Katie Says Happy New Year!!
I’m feeling such good vibes for 2012, I’m not even posting a douchebag with this lil’ alchy-hottie.
May your New Years be festive and contemplative, mixed with just a touch of world-appropriate rage at just how far the human race falls short of its potential.
But Champagne Katie boobies carry us onward, ever onward, towards an angel hued pastel future-sky mixed with Seurat-dotted landscapes of idealized potential and booberific bobble bobbs.
And Champagne Katie Pear.
She is indeed a gem. I think it only fitting that you HOH her. Also, that one guy that talks to her on Facebook needs to get up in them guts already. Champagne Katie’s Proctologist’s Flower Delivery Boy, what it the status man? It can’t be that hard to woo her. Please tell me you’ve gotten to second base at least.
Champagne Katie is helping my New Year’s boner, yo. I just need a bit a stiptic powder to stop the bleeding from my annual New Year’s Eve morning drunken shaving bloodbath, yo. And I have a song for that:
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I like how the pic of her pear features the current Katie in the foreground, and the ten-years-later Katie in the background. Still crammed into the same dress, looking slightly less confident, wondering where all her fawning admirers have gone.
Bless you D.B.1 (respect) ’cause a day without douchebags is like a day without cholera.
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This is a self-portrait we can all get behind.
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And.by “get behind” I mean dog-style.
@Medusa, Hahaha, that’s Vodka and Tonic Marge in the background. And I think you’re right, it is also Champagne Katie in 10 years. But you know whatevs, lol, h8ers and such.
Nicely done Medusa.
“Ten-years- after Katie” looks pensive and justifiably concerned as she contemplates a future where the superficiality of good looks and the artificial elevation, brought on by alcohol, will no longer be there to bring her anything resembling fulfilment.
MO – Great catch on Katie + 10. Katie + 10 + another 10 won’t be much different, will she?
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Still, gotta love the young ones. Girls just wanna have fun. God bless ’em for that!
Nancy,
While I agree that Katie is inherently a HOH contender, her prior actions must result in disqualification.
Exhibit A:
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2011/02/champagne-katie-cant-wait-to-prosecute-against-this-site/
Medusa (8:50 a.m.) nailed it, stuck the landing and everything. Wow!
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“Ten Years After” Katie would love to change the world, but she won’t know who to woo.
Speaking of which^, perhaps Mr. Scrotato Head can come up with some revised lyrics suitable for that…..eh?
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But yeah, Boss, a choadless post is a nice way to close out 2011 – Samurai Scrote knows we’ve seen more than enough of them as it is.
Will just note that she LOL’d at her Douchie Award, and when I hinted this was in the offiing demanded “omg! tell me tell me” and then “Post it to my Wall!!! Hahaha love it!!” So her high-powered attorney may no longer be on speed dial.
“Contemplative”, DB1? Well played.
You guys with your Kansas, Cranberrys, U2, _________ classic rock band videos. Your taste in wholesome music still betrays your sick, sick natured minds.
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Here’s a little Sloppy Seconds for 2012. Happy New Year you perverted fuckers!
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JD – I liked that video better when it was called Fight For Your Right To Party.
Maybe I’m dumb, but is Shampoo Kate Quartasian?
Anyway, NYE 2011 was somewhat anticlimactic. Sure we had the big fireworks on Sydney Harbour, for which the many headed started assembling along the foreshore vantage points at 08:30 yesterday morning. That’s a 14 hour wait for 2 ten minute displays. Leave me out of it. So I stayed in, ate meat, watched as much of Sex And The City (the movie) as is humanly possible then slept. Still no wool, Dreuche, but it won’t come-a-knockin’ I know… 2012. Feels strange already.
Geez, tall guy — that sounds scary. Can we just keep it 2011??
Re. the crowded foreshore, The Dude: Howard Hughes-levels of sociopathic narcissism are one thing. But subtract the Spruce Goose, 1950s Las Vegas, dating Jean Harlow or anything else remotely interesting and you’re left with something else.
Well put, tall guy @11:11am, 2011-ish. If it’s gotta be twelve, so be it.
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And, you know just because it’s already next year where you are doesn’t mean you have some kind of dibs on 2012, the year of redemption rapture and the L.A. Clippers taking the NBA title!
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Champeens
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^for N. Dreuche
Katie is a Cuban/Lebanese mix, tall guy. Which if you’re not reading carefully sounds like a super-hot typo.
C
U
Next
Tuesday
Just as the Christmas season is a festive island in the bleakness of Winter, so is New Year’s the decadent bit we snuck under the velvet rope of holiness barring entrance to the Twelve Days.
And as the Greatest Commercial Ever Made reminds us, when fed sufficient appletinis, on this night, even Angels Will Fall:
I’m still all about Mila Kunis. Even her name is smoking hot, all sounding like she’s talking about her vajay-jay. “Look everyone, it’s my lakunis. Check my lakunis out.”
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Then I found out it’s pronounced Meela Kunis, which is even hotter cause now it sounds like she’s talking about her vag in Spanish! “Oye, esta mi la kunis.”
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Petite girls totally do it for me. They make you feel as though you could just grab ’em by the waist, lift them up and just set them down on your dick and then watch their upper abdomen distend with every thrust.
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Shit!
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I gotta go.
Thank jeebus you got past the dick-bejazzling shit.
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I have something for Mila’s Kunis. gotta tell her, next time we’re walking down the red carpet, by which I mean I’d like to ejaculate on her titicles.
I propose putting a third bald head up Champagne Katie’s blouse!!!
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chrome domes
Where did her right arm go? And her left arm is a stump. Guess I’m looking at the wrong stumps…
I love you all!!! And wish all of you guys a happy new year and great success!!! Thanks for all the comments!!:*!!! Xoxo
Janira speaks! (er, this is Kennedy here, under a subtle nickname)
@janira, you do know how to read, right? Eh well then yes XOXO to you too sweetie. Oh to live in your simple blubbly world. Totes jealz.
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@tall guy, please tell me you are kidding with The Sex and the City movie? Happy new year anyways.
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@Champagne Katie’s Underarm Deoderant, you must have her.
This is fun lol! Ill admit I was very upset the first time my picture was up, but I shouldn’t be this is all just to make fun of ppl and if this makes others happy then good! No hard feelings what so ever. Kennedy ur the besttttttttt:)
@nancy: yes I do;) y did u ask?
Oooo I know y lol idc for all the rude comments sweety, I still wish everone a good year;) including your self:)! Everyone that knows me knows what I stand for and knows I’m a kind person.
@janira, that’s very cool of you. I mean you’re a model so you should be used to your pictures being everywhere. I think this Kennedy fellow has a supercrush on you too. He comments here a lot. Seems like a great guy. If you’re single you might consider saying yes if he ever asked you out. It would be a super adorbs story. Sort if our version of the royal wedding. 🙂 Um lol.
Yes this happens a lot lol ( ppl saying rude things) but sometimes you have to ignore what ppl say about you. Its part of growing up…
@janira, yes, yes it is. Well good luck with everything. Have a DD tonight if you hit the fizzy stuff. And if a guy named RevChad starts talking to you, run away. Far away. But not to Canada because that’s where he lives.
Well, welcome aboard janira! We’re really not such a bad bunch of folks, even though we don the facade of being mean, vindictive perverts on the interwebs. It’s really just a farce.
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We’re normal people just like like you. We have our fun fishing/hunting, coupon clipping, knitting scarves, and of course, woodworking.
@Jacques, as if this place isn’t gay enough. Tall guy is watching Sex in the City for chrissakes. Quality peen shot though. A little more shaft next time would be nice. Just suggestin’.
Suddenly, I miss Karen’s Mom.
@Wedgie, please do not use the HCwDB Ouji comments board to summon Karen’s Mom. I can only handle so much breakage of the third wall in one day. Wonder what SMOOT is up to though. I think he liked me.
What are you insinuating? I’m a perfectly straight man who’s totally about getting all up in women’s wazzus. And I can prove it!
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That was the best date ever.
I figger it’s like Howard Stern or Opie & Anthony. Guys say nasty stuff, then become fanboys.
You should see her google stats today. Zoom, baby!
@Champagne Katie’s Playa Pimp, Google stats are what I use to make every purchasing decision. Those are some important numbers I’m sure. Nice work. She won’t be single for long with that type if heat.
What are the Google stats on “I peed in a horse once?”.
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***EDIT***
Click on my name in the Hall o’ Mock, Lady. Ye Shall See.
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– D.S.
*****
Thanks for the great pics DB1 (and Katie). Happy freakin new year.
Jacques, I can find the depths of the Interwebs if need be without the assist, thankyouverymuch.
Dreuche, I just ate my Sunday lunch while watching The City. I’m a fan of pseudo innocent Whitney, but secretly crave the svelte Goddess Olivia.
A slice of my mind has fallen away from the trespasses of the normal feelings and GOD DAMMIT I can’t post while listening to Rachmaninoff! What I mean to say is grAaAAaaAAAAAHHHHHhhhh!
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By Which I Mean to Say (BWIMTS) happy new year’s and may auld your langs syne!
Methinks Jacques is BCS in disguise.
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Damn it…..yeah, guess who clicked his fuccen link?
@tall guy, is this some fruity Aussie show I should care about? I’m on a BBC Sherlock kick right now so I don’t really have room to start a whole nother series. I too can’t decide who I would bang harder. Watsons got the body but Holmes has the brains.
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@JD, you went on a date with Plinky’s Mom? Details please.
Msg to Champagne Katie — that’s NOT champagne leakin’ outa yer bunghole…
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Corks
Jacques, that is the second-worst thing I’ve seen all week. Please keep your interest in Mrs. Plinky to yourself.
Time to get seriously ‘tatered. You suck, you wrinkly little Frenchman.
Well, it’s 2012 here in the Eastern time zone. Happy New Year to all you fuccen dead ghey hatters!
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May all your hotts be nekkid and their boobies fleshy, yet firm and nipply! And for the huntresses, may your men’s peens be machines! (OK, that was weak, but I don’t usually wish for that kind of stuff.)
Man that Champagne Katie is one wild bitch to tame
Happy New Years. Nepos.
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And by “Happy New Years” I mean “FUCK YOU, 2011”.
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Seriously.
MOARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I … must … spank … ! … Champagne Katie!
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I must spank…
Happy New Year from the West Coast! Or should I say, the BEST Coast. WaahahahahahaHAAAAAA!!!!
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Yeah.
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My New Years resolution: No more links to sick, fucked up pictures or videos. Only links to clean, innocuous subjects…like dried fruit.
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I promise.
Fail.
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*dried fruit
Holy fuck I’m hung over. The born wealthy nerds I knew in school throw one hell of a shin-dig while they show you the McMansion and stand in awe that you are in their presence. What the fuck was that about? I was cool in school and shit but fuck off I’m just an old alcoholic now!
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I don’t think it was the parking lot blow the Mrs. had bought to keep me awake or give me a heart attack. And it was likely not the many pitchers we downed before dinner nor the doobies shared with assorted professionals just escaped the bonds of their children and/or aging parents. It may have been the many test-tube racks of tequila and B-52’s or the vodka slurpies in the well crafted walnut kitchen which were rolled out by nubile teenage girls who proved that ya don’t always look at the mother.
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The party in the basement was where the nonsense occured. My daughter’s swimming instructor , one hot little 16 year-old, said hi Mr. Kroeger what are you doing in the teen party in the 5000 square foot basement. I tells her I’m lost and looking for a pisser. She gives me a little pill in exchange for a smoke. I don’t know what the fuck it was but I was rolled out of the house by trained emergency animal technicians and I don’t remember what happened after 3 am.
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My lesson for 2011 is fuck off 2011 and don’t go to the high school nerds house with the lazer and disco-ball basement and run into a chick born of an old football buddy and take a pill after you had 152 drinks and the Mrs. goes off the wagon. And don’t look below the surface of the water in the hot tub time machine because it is filled with cellulite on the lower half of the girls you used to want to fuck. Amen and god bless the New
York Giants.
I feel like a rag that was used to wipe down Charlie Sheen’s bar: a class 3 bio hazard, worth 10 grand on the street, and quite possibly radioactive.
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Katie is as cute as the goosebumps on a ladybug’s ass. Can we consider HoH for her one more time?
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And a special new years treat: Katie’s sister with a wastoid douchebag and d-list ex-celeb. Don’t worry Katie, you are cuter than big sis.
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http://www.lasvegassun.com/photos/2010/aug/31/86214/
Yeah, hung over too. This was our moment of brotherhood and bonhomie. Now time to settle in for serious mock. I need a new nic. Katie, while eternal in my heart, is a 2011 story, perhaps the defining 2011 story.
And she WILL enter the Hall of Hott.
The Rev saideth:
“I was rolled out of the house by trained emergency animal technicians and I don’t remember what happened after 3 am.”
Pure brilliance!!!!!!!!
I celebrated the New year by watching the “Kourtney & Kim Take New York” marathon on whatever channel it was, crawling into bed at 11 PM, weepsterbated then fell asleep. I woke up this morning around 7 thanking the heavens that the holidays are finally over, had a smoke took a dump and went back to sleep.
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Time to focus on what really matters in this country this time of year………… Football!!!!!. Go STILLERS!!!!! and the Cleve Brownstains STILL suck!!!!
Dreuche! How can you, like, not know of The City? I’d have thought it was a daily coast-to-coast network televisual feast in your country. Why, one of the main reasons I want to visit the US is because it’s the birthplace of The City (without the option of italicised words these last two sentences lack the required impact).
@ Et Tu, wow. Just wow.
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@tall guy, I had no idea it was abbreviated to “The City”. But the character names you said are different than the ones in the harpies in heels show that plays in the US. I’ve seen probably about 3 episodes total. How long have you been a superfan? Is it on the same level as Vin and Desperate Armywives?
Oh yeah, Champagne Katie for HOH. She done turned herself around. I had a great time chatting with her. She’s far more intelligent than I had originally given her credit for. Plus, great boobs.
Have been a fan ever since first laying eyes on the fair Olivia (I’ll hazard a guess that she’s not actually that fair btw). So it’s a branding or labelling thing, eh? Great show. Love the location shots of NYC. Love how the characters who seemingly have so much time for leisure in general and idleness in particular also have munificent funding to do as much. How does that work? Richie Rich-types I guess.
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Olivia=droolworthy.
This, dreuche
Erm, this: http://www.oliviapalermo.com/#
@tall guy, your link took me to some hoity toity frou frou site. No peen in sight. Worse than Jacques and Plinkys mom date pic. Zzzzzzzz. Does this Olivia chuck have a soul sucking job at the mother’s teat?
*chick* instead of chuck
Not sure, Dreuche, but I’m sure she has the teats nature intended her to have. I fantasise after this impossiblely unattainable type occasionally. Highly pound worthy and probably a squirter.
Simply put, I would eat her shit.
I think Champagne Katie might be Russian and some other breed that needs my Jesus sized cocck.
Pass. She’s got tiny teeth with perfect bite in that forced coinslot of a smile, like a vintage porcelain doll that comes to life at night and ransacks your kitchen looking for a steak knife. That shit creeps me out.
Pear was overrated. Sad, but true.
“forced coinslot of a smile” for dickish comment of 2012, if it’s not too early…
Haha I do have tiny teeth!!!! But they are perfect!;) hehe
Yeah, Baron at 2:41 FTW.
“My name is talking Tina, and Im, going, to , kill, you.”
Pear overrated? That was a damned fine bootay, but the pic wasn’t very revealing, just a tight skirt. Katie doesn’t do the r-rated stuff.
In fairness, Katie has tiny everything. Kinda worry she’ll fall over when wearing hair extensions. But I’m a sucker for spinners (look it up)
@champagne katie’s pedicurist poolboy: hahaha that was a good one!! 😀
@ Janira a.k.a champagne Katie
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I hope you found the award as humorous as I had fun in writing it up. Even though “we are a dickish bunch”, we’ll also welcome you into the fold if you want to play along.
2ambergris