Friday, December 30, 2011
New Years Haiku
The casino band
For New Year’s Eve Party is
“Death Crabs for Cuties”
Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.
— Wheezer
Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.
— hermit
At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week
— Vin Douchal
andom chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.
— Wheezer
Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Damned post got hung up;
No, WordPress; YOU go to Hell.
Y’all start posting shit.
Trannies? You decide.
But center dude’s shirt is not
Only half-tucked thing…
Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.
Lennerd Krappitz asks:
“Are you gonna go my way?”
Bro in specs says, “Yes.”
My paranoia
says, “Douche won’t die”; ladies do
their tinfoil caps wrong.
Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites
Let Mayans be right;
twenty-twelve must clean planet
Earth of these roaches.
DarkSock asks: “Trannies?”
If so, I see no Syne of
“ladies'” Auld Wangs here.
The Baby New Year
fills diaper with more welcome
poo than is seen here.
Who roofied the babes?
Platinum Katy Perry
Does blonde mating call.
Glass-eye, slack-jaw douche
Ubiquitous as dog poo
Numbered for ID
Mayans begin new
calendar on “blonde’s” belly;
Dad’s pride continues
The ‘2’ on his arm
Has branded him as douche poo
Bet he smells, don’t you?
Topless frost-tipped babes
Smiling douchebag Wankersons
Satan smirks, taunts me
New Year’s Seacrest Eve:
once the ladies leave, balls drop
in earnest…..and Bruce.
Platinum Katy
Occupies my fantasy
Hardens scratching post
Brunette hott: real boobs?
Between her and half-tuck, two
outta five ain’t bad.
Douche in librarian role
Men as ladies
Dude likee bizarro world
blondie’s fake cans droop
WTF? Leather boys sport
librarian specs
Tropicana means
“Florida,” right? Real fruits, sure,
but looks like Vegas.
Never mind – no good
way to know which Trop hotel;
douche is everywhere.
Right nerd-bro is ‘2’
so left nerd-bro must be ‘1’;
likes Mr. White’s drinks.
So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.
New word: “Stripsterbags.”
New genre of scrote to start
the new year off wrong.
Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
Still shocked by Jacques D’s
Revolting link. I prepare
To drink hard early.
And by early I
Mean now. And by now I mean
Tape on my wife’s tits.
A Trop photo op,
The janitor’s an expert…
in foil removal.
Carnival Shooting
Galleries were never the
Same with shiny nips.
This gang has convinced
Me that my choice in juice brands
Sucks. Back to Sunkist.
Random chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.
Director and cast
Vegas show, “Dope Slaps For All”
Front row gets greasy
Piggly Wiggly slap
Fucks himself with a firm cock
When he sees tinsel.
At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week
In Vegas, I’ve been
Drunk enough to do this , too
But not dumb enough
New Years already!
Fuck I’m still hung from the day
That was yesterday.
Tropicana serves fish
Uses douche on left’s belt buckle
To plate-up
If I had a forked
Cock for everytime I did
Two trannies I’d have
Hey Tall Guy. You blokes
Hate that half-fag Hugh Jackman
As much as we do?
Wheezer is on fire
So I posted his ass twice.
Double Nepos…Son.
And I know RevChad’s
“Monkey Hole” haiku’s been done;
Still funny. Nepos.
douche “agent” presents:
new act Bono Vanilli,
boobs in tin-foil hats
I can die happy
Rev Chad explains life’s meaning
Nine thirty seven
Holy crap, I got two?
Seventeen syllables: my
creative limit…..?
See how I snuck in
an extra syllable there^?
Too much excitement.
Nikki Beach Club crowd
Crawling with douches and bleeths
Ignoble failure
Is it me, or has
Christian Bale’s career taken
a turn for the worse?
I couldn’t get mine to post earlier.
My tongue wants to bathe
blaunde and brunette hawt babeage
liquid poomp on scrotes
Yo Kroeger, can’t speak for my fellow constituents, but I can’t stand Hugh Jackass.
Abercrombie douche,
Chipendales scrotes didn’t tape,
I want bleeth nipples.