Friday, December 2, 2011

    Fisthole

    Beware. The. Fist.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, December 2, 2011

    Friday Haiku

    Neck Tatts and Slut Hair:
    “WE ARE the 1%, Yo!”
    …Unemployable…

    Bottle blonde Q-Tip
    Shiny building of a man
    E-Harmony win.

    — Douche Wayne

    Shiny vest, matching
    head kerchief…you know: to keep
    it real AND classy

    — idfma



    She has crosses on
    vest but there is no God. Proof
    standing next to her.

    — Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

    These two have it all
    Together. Clothes and hair match.
    No platinum card.

    — The Reverend Chad Kroeger

    No Shirt No Service?
    I will mock authority
    My vest in your face!

    — THEONETRUEDOUCHE

    Whoever said that
    youth is wasted on the young
    must have known these two.

    — FoghornLeghorn

    Three Day Suit Broker
    Irregulars to dumpster
    He finds vest with lunch.

    — Vin Douchal

    Nero diddled, while
    Roma’s crotch burned. Club Zeus smells
    Like Greek Tragedy.

    — Bootney Lee Farnsworth

    # posted by Bagnonymous
    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Bob Douchionne Is Out There

    Just knowing that Bob Douchionne exists is a good enough reason to start drinking.

    Sally Mae Jean, you really should know better.

    But how do you go back home to the farm after meeting Carl Hungus?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Creepy Bukowski Fan Asks You If You’ve Ever Read Bukowski

    The correct response to Creepy Bukowski Fan is: “Excuse me, I’m waiting for a friend. Now please do not soil upon my napkin.”

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Average White Douchebag Is Way In Over His Head

    Joey Kia is a stage-1. Just a pudly puddling.

    A mish-mash of confused signifiers.

    Rachel Hott is all that is pure of Norwegian Wood on a paid-to-pose professional level.

    Together, they kill time on a Tuesday. While secretly hating their lives and cursing the God that never was.

    Too depressing for a Thursday?

    I’mma get a coffee.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, December 1, 2011

    Superfluous Mike Gets in the Way

    But on the bright side, the fungus growing on his arm can cure lupus.

    Crazy Eyes Stephanie wears matching hair scrunchy and lingere to the pool party in North Hollywood, while her bestie, Party Hardy Kat, reconsiders going back on the road with Three Doors Down now that they’re back to playing smaller venues.

    # posted by douchebag1