Friday, January 20, 2012
Friday Haiku
“So interesting…
What’s in his mind”, she thinks. Hey!
Let’s crack it open!
Violet No Regard
Grabs Liv Tyler. Willy
Wonka calles Grape Ape.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jeffy is happy
Tomorrow the games begin
Special Olympics
— Wedgie
Purple Hayes sings out,
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!”
Tranny says, “Zip it.”
— hermit
Jerzey Jackoffsky
wears Tinky Winky’s colors;
Jerry Falwell seethes.
— Wheezer
Novelty Douche Store
Nose and hat come with glasses
Bring your own assclown
— Vin Douchal
“classy” Bleeth parties
with retard little brother
mom made her bring him
— Douche Springsteen
The tragic hat tilt
Is worse than purple jacket
And the tranny’s shirt
— Doucheywallnuts
She only wears rope
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey box hole
— Nepos
Five seven five is
Insufficient to describe
All that is wrong here
Violet No Regard
Grabs Liv Tyler. Willy
Wonka calles Grape Ape.
Bets on Wedgie Man.
Purple fag holds fingers up
Shows San Fran sad score.
Her lady. Can you
Guess how many times I
Queefed myself. That’s right!
Jeffy is happy
Tomorrow the games begin
Special Olympics
In the background, Marg
The Bounty Hunter prepares
To pepper spray douche.
Talk is cheap, my friend
And rooting for New York teams
Is easy way out
Fire alarm causes
Evacuation of psycho
Ward. Burn baby burn!
Been with the Giants
Since their first Superbowl man.
Thirsty for Makers.
Ray Kroc weeps from grave
as thin Grimace dates porn starlet
drunk Aurora Snow.
Which came first. Empty
Wine glass or purple clad bag?
Someone throw some eggs.
Hey you! I can get
Some dope deals on high end clothes.
Check out her hot sack.
Barney, Dino-douche
Liv Tyler looks terrible
Sings, “clean up! clean up!”
Hand gesture signifies
Vinnie and his date each have
two big testicles
Duck-faced flapper girl
Will Charleston your Gatsby
With Prince Purple Stain
Purple Hayes sings out,
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!”
Tranny says, “Zip it.”
Patriots win big
Giants squeeze out a close one.
Pats-Giants rematch
Anthropologist-
designer shows off dress made
from dino scrotum.
No Haiku here seeing as I always forget how to do it but this douchenozzle has been on here before.
Speaking of squeaking
out a close one, Rev, is there
still blood in your stool?
My God is angry
First thing I see on Friday
One douche, one tranny
I call notta bag
Flava Flav Alopecia
left Big Clock at home
Liv likes her eggplants
long, thick, and bumpy. Too bad
only turnip left.
Celeste Pasty Nips
searches cabana party;
finds Color Me Badd.
Minnescrota gets
Liv to coach Vi-queens. Signs choad
as tackling dummy.
I’m at a loss here
Don’t see function of zipper
Or turd in purple
Slick chick has dick
Wear it purple guy
Needs to cover his eyes
Paper, Rock, Scissors!
But these Dolts know only one.
Still amuses them.
I knew I recognized this clown it’s none other then
DJ Jersey Jackoffsky
Two plus two plus two
Equals 10 inch heels or
Purple homunculus
^ http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/08/hcwdb-of-the-week-dj-jerzey-jackoffsky-and-jenny/
She made a new dress
from gran’s old sofa cushion.
Purple guy counts “Two!”.
Jackoffsky has
Two pairs of clothes
And one pair of sunglasses
But no pear
Jerzey Jackoffsky
says he’d never wear purple.
“it’s lavender, yo!”
I am no longer
In Rev Chad’s stool. He started
On Metamucil
She only wears rope
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey box
Next week I bring booze
To class. Fucking monkey shit.
Want challenge exams.
Makers Mark and a
Chauffeur will be a old dudes
Grad school crutchos.
Thirty and perty
Is looking pretty good from
Here. Which is upskirt
I wish I was blind
I wish I was blind, right now
Or, these two would die
She bought a no-brained
loud-mouthed, tilt-hatted, purple
jelly dong eater.
.
.
.
.
I tried to rewrite the “one-eyed,-one-horned, flying purple people eater” song but came up with epic fail. *sigh*
The tragic hat tilt
Is worse than purple jacket
And the tranny’s shirt
“classy” Bleeth parties
with retard little brother
mom made her bring him
Where those fingers been?
In the Pink or in the Stink
I don’t want to know…
Triple sideways peace
Betty Rouble says “You like?”
Barney just says “Heeeeeeeeee.”
Royal color purp
Once reserved for kings and queens
Now symbol for perp
white and purple, uh
white and purple white and pur
ple, white and purple
Broke-ass Flava Flav
Lost without his giant clock
Must be two p.m.
Purple clad ass-clown
Pasty flapper can count “2”
Flav turns in his grave
Novelty Douche Store
Nose and hat come with glasses
Bring your own assclown
Day long client meeting;
I’ll post the front pagers soon.
Hang in there, Nepos.
Two-Four-Six and Eight
Who do we appreciate?
The Pharmacist, yay!
Hey man, she’s a two
No way! I’m at least a four
Yah, sure, whatever
Sock’s meeting gives me
chance to make front page, but last
try got locked out. Huh?
I guess my first try
somehow didn’t post; I will
attempt it once more.
Jerzey Jackoffsky
wears Tinky Winky’s colors;
Jerry Falwell seethes.
.
Maybe now?
She needs to “Moe” him
down, but purple stooge wears blast
shields to protect his mug.
Wedgie FTW
right off the bat, but could get
on the front page twice.
Fuccen Jiffy Pop
lid needs to be on hot stove
top for full effect.
Two girl V’s, 1 chump’s;
Whatever that means, he eats
poo. Matches his stench.
Dark Sock is in meetos.
The Flava Flav is
uncomfortable in his skin.
Where is his necklace?