Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

9:12 am January, 11 Wedgie said...

A parent’s dream. Remember the game “Mystery Date”?

9:42 am January, 11 jonezy said...

her eyes scream “I’m a sex kitten in here just dying to get out and play”

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let her play young herpster, let her play.

9:52 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

A man gets on a plane and is surprised to see a parrot strapped inot the seat next to him. He asks the stewardess for coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whiskey you stupid cow.”

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The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot and forgets all about the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and squawks, “And get me another whiskey, you airhead.”

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Quite upset, the poor woman comes back shaking with another whiskey, but still no coffee.

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Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot’s approach, “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now you fuck witted, blithering cuntrag!”

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In the next moment, both he and the parrot are yanked up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. As they plunge downward, the parrot turns to the man and yells, “Ya’ know, for someone who can’t fly, you’ve got a shitty attitude.”

9:57 am January, 11 tall guy said...

Post-punk nerdy gamer boy can’t believe his luck. Not sure he knows what to do next though…

9:58 am January, 11 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Love to see bad boy herpster get dropped off in the hood. Those weed beads, the hat and glasses end up inserted in his rectum.

10:03 am January, 11 Vin Douchal said...

An elderly man limped into the doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, my left nut hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!”

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The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, “Sir, how old are you?”

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“I’m 98,” the man proudly admitted.

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The doctor just sighed, looked at him again and said, “Sir, I’m sorry you’re in pain, but let’s just look at the facts. You are almost 100 years old, and you’re complaining that your testicle hurts? Well, really, what did you expect?”

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The old man retorted, “Well, my other nut is 98 years old too, and it doesn’t hurt!”

10:28 am January, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Poor guy looks bored with his douche costume. I’m in favor of giving him a pass. Yes, you might ask why he’s bored in the company of Suzie Cutie. That is as easy an answer as it is sad. Suzie Cutie is wholesome, and poor Brad here endures endless hours of platonic romance. It’s a fate worse than having your testicles exfoliated with a cheese grater. The closest he has ever gotten to second base was an over the socks foot rub one night when Suzie had a couple too many (by which I mean she had a total of 2) wine coolers.

10:37 am January, 11 jonezy said...

Hey Boss,

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Are you on a diet these days?

10:43 am January, 11 Scooby Douche said...

Aww, give the kid a break. She made him put on the stupid outfit for a joke, so she could post the silly photo on Facebook for her BFFs.

Notta.

10:44 am January, 11 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin

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OK, nerd joke time

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A farmer becomes dismayed when he notices his chickens no longer laying eggs. He goes to the local university to find a scientist to help him determine the answer.

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After walking for a short time he runs into a physicist who agrees to help him. The physicist goes to the farm, records a lot of observations for weeks, fills up 20 lab notebooks and then tells the farmer he’ll be back in 3 weeks.

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True to his word, the physicist returns and says he has good news and bad news. The farmer asks for the good news first. “Well, I figured out the problems but it wasn’t very easy” said the physicist. “And the bad news?” asked the farmer. “In order to get a reasonable answer” continued the physicist “I had to run my simulations by assuming you had spherical chickens in a vacuum.”

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That KILLS at every physics conference!

11:00 am January, 11 Wedgie said...

^ha!!!! I get it.

11:02 am January, 11 Wedgie said...

Young Myron Sheckelberg walks into his father’s den and says, “Dad, I need to have $50. Can you give it to me?”

Rabbi Sheckelberg looks at his son for a moment, then answers: “$40? What do you need $30 for?”

11:30 am January, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A Drunken Irishman Joke

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So this drunken Irishman goes into a bar and picks a fight with the biggest, meanest, young colleen in the place named Shannon. So Shannon runs away and shits her pants and has another drink.

11:48 am January, 11 fatness said...

Ah yes, her eyes say yes but her still-sprouting boobies shout 15 will get you 20.

4:49 pm January, 11 Nostradouchus said...

He got beat up in school. Fact.

5:13 pm January, 11 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Damn, he makes that Bieber kid look like Eazy E.

6:37 pm January, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

MC 900 FTW.

7:42 am January, 12 whetman said...

Justin, your skateboard is blocking the entrance.

6:42 pm January, 12 Stephanie said...

These kids should just stay home on the computer or clean up their bedrooms and stop trying to be so ironic.