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Saturday, January 21, 2012
Comment of the Week: Charles Douchewin
Charles Douchewin provides an exellent deconstruction of the process of librarian hott determination and wins the coveted Comment of the Week:
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Identfications based on singular variable traits can be erronious.
Identifications based on multiple concordant traits, that are consistent with a type, are more reliable.
For example: Alone, each of the Village People could easily be interpreted as a policeman, biker, indian, construction worker, army recruit or cowboy.
However, when they all sing and dance together on stage, I tend not to be confused about their true profession.
Also, appearances can be unreliable indices of character – except, of course, for the Gynochin.
In the case DB1 proposes here, one need only talk to the douche/bleeth in question to see if their responses are consistent with their appearance.
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Friday, January 20, 2012Friday Thoughts and Links
Trustfund Asswipes at Miami lingerie parties with paid-to-pose hotties punch the Baby Tebus in the nads.
And that’s about all I have to say about that one.
But at least there’s Real World Champagne Katie Pier Pear to keep me hopeful.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Horror Pick of the Week: “”I was not pure. The teleporter insists on inner pure. I was not pure.”
Last chance to get in on the free HCwDB one-day NBA Fantasy Game that Draft Street is throwing in our honor tonight (cutoff to draft is 7pm EST). Help support the site, draft a team and check out Draft Street, and lemme know if you win some cash.
Right. Now. Loblaws is! Having a. Huge. Fro. Zenfood. Sale.
I’ll take Dutch Ovens for $800, Alex.
Rob Schneider participates in the classic Ugly Comedian With Hot Wife sitcom subgenre. Still beats the odious herpstercom trend with shows like “Two Broke Girls” and “New Girl.”
Hip Hop Flute. Played by a future hottie 15 year old Asian Design Major. The hat is douchey but the talent is undeniable.
The future of douchewear. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
In Russia, boob grab you!
Douchebag Merit Badges. Now if only I Could get an HCwDB iPad app designed.
Wanna play a game? See if you can spot the subtle product placement in this clip from Hawaii 5-0. Look closely! It’s subtle.
Lately, I’ve randomly become obsessed with 1970s-era Jacqueline Bisset. And by randomly, I mean boobs.
But you are not here for Wet T-Shirt boobs. Oh wait, you probably are. But you’re also here for Pear:
Totally perfect. And totally perfect.
Friday, January 20, 2012Draft Street's Free HCwDB NBA Game is Tonight
If ya missed the posts from earlier this week, the guys at Draft Street, a fantasy sports league with lots of games you can play to win money, are throwing us a FREE NBA draft contest tonight, and you could win cash!
Champagne Katie is in. She even brought Rareass Blue Cup to the party.
Draft Street are also helping to support HCwDB in 2012, so your humble narrator can buy Night Train and Twinkies (while Hostess remains in business), as well as keep the lights on around here.
All you need to sign up is an email account.
And for all those playing tonight, please stop fapping to the Tiny Dancer Maria Pear Pics I sent. Although they are eminent boobie hottie suckle thighage.
Winner’s’ll of the game be announed on the site over the weekend.
Friday, January 20, 2012Friday Haiku
“So interesting…
What’s in his mind”, she thinks. Hey!
Let’s crack it open!
Violet No Regard
Grabs Liv Tyler. Willy
Wonka calles Grape Ape.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jeffy is happy
Tomorrow the games begin
Special Olympics
— Wedgie
Purple Hayes sings out,
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!”
Tranny says, “Zip it.”
— hermit
Jerzey Jackoffsky
wears Tinky Winky’s colors;
Jerry Falwell seethes.
— Wheezer
Novelty Douche Store
Nose and hat come with glasses
Bring your own assclown
— Vin Douchal
“classy” Bleeth parties
with retard little brother
mom made her bring him
— Douche Springsteen
The tragic hat tilt
Is worse than purple jacket
And the tranny’s shirt
— Doucheywallnuts
She only wears rope
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey box hole
— Nepos
Thursday, January 19, 2012Amber Gets Caught in the Boob Machine
Boobs.
And Amber has a nice rack, too.
Ha, ahaha! See what I did there?
Because they’re the boobs I was referring too!
A-haha…
Okay, whatevs.
I’mma get a coffee.
I’ll take Jim Jay Bullock in the center for the block, Alex.
Thursday, January 19, 2012Callie Gets Caught in the Choadpress Machine
Be careful, Callie! It’s the Choadpress Machine of Douche! You’ll shoot your eye out!
And by eye, I mean self-esteem.
And by shoot, I mean shoot.
Thursday, January 19, 2012Reader Mail: The End of Librarian Hott Purity?
Mr. Biggs snapped this pic of Librarian Hott meeting a vortex of Douche Woo.
This tasks us with the following:
Have the signifiers of Librarian Hott neurotic-erotic entanglement become so coopted as to have become conceptually Bleethed?
And yes, the fact that that last sentence can communicate despite linguistic nonsensical phrasing gives me a deep and profound joy. Take that, Noam Chomsky.
Thursday, January 19, 2012The Blender of Societal Turd
Add 1/4 cup herpster
1 pair hot chick rave-glasses
Assorted clothing styles from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s
One pair of firm, succulent boobie hottie suckle thigh seasoned to taste
Blend on “Puree” for five minutes
Voila!
Societal Turd.
Thursday, January 19, 2012Matt Shares a Drink With a Woman in Her Underwear
This kinda thing happens to Matt all the time.
As does crotch fung.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012Esoteric Wednesday
Sad Packers Fan should not have worn the sparkles on the nails.
