Friday Haiku
Better watch out, Girl…
Urinal Lotta Trouble.
I’d pee in her butt.
Hair from a bottle.
Clothes courtesy of the nearest
Tuxedo Junction.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Blow job now finished
She wonders how big a tip
Dickhead’s gonna pay
— Wedgie
Shelly contemplates
Existential dilemma;
Puke in sink or floor?
— hermit
Chad gets a pic of
latest bathroom conquest. She
ponders, “What’s his name?”
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
heroin chic chick
shoots up in the wrong bathroom
douche moves in for kill
— Douche Springsteen
Sheila contemplates
pulling out her black butt plug.
Its a Tad. Too Big.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I admire her
still trying to look sexy
in front of piss-holes
— Medusa Oblongata
I hate to be rude
but your bride is a gross skank
get a good lawyer
— Medusa Oblongata
I’ll take “Hairstyles That
Died in the Eighties” for two
hundred, Alex, please.
— UFO Destroyers
He looks plaintively
Into the midde distance
She sees cum on shoes
— McCrude
Bathroom Rondevous
Meat Curtains on Marble Tile
Scrotal Slap Echo
— Doucheywallnuts
The Smell of Stale Balls
Is it From the Urinals?
Or is it Her Breath?
— Doucheywallnuts
Hey baby, I will
Adorn you in pearls and cake
Yes, urinal cakes
— Vin Douchal
Porcelain thrones gleam
not utilized. Both the king
and queen sit to pee.
— army (ret) douche
Hair from a bottle.
Clothes courtesy of the nearest
Tuxedo Junction.
Two dicks one camera.
Post-modern dilemma.
Shake your own drips.
Hey girl, come on in.
I swear to God, sweetie pie,
there’s Botox in here.
Her boobs have been loose
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
Well, that’s the first place
Most couples take wedding pics
What’s your problem, Sock?
Take thousand monkeys.
Give them all a tuxedo
One will wear it right.
Tranny contemplates
Telling his latest victim
He pees standing too
Clothes from Muhammed
The Tailor. Camera from
Local Quckie Mart.
Melissa likes kink
Post-it says “out of order”
Points where he can pee
Sad, between the two of them neither figured out that he peed in the sink instead of the urinals.
Give her a Kleenex
Don’t make her use a finger
To wipe off your cum
Wedding surpise. Cock.
Mama always said “Life is
Like a box of penis.”
Blow job now finished
She wonders how big a tip
Dickhead’s gonna pay
“Do you Stanley take
This shemale to be your life
Partner,” “I love her cock”
Troys post on last thread
Blew my mind. You must all read it.
I think he’s depressed.
Not sure you should be
Sucking that finger before
Washing your hands, Fred.
The Hangover Three.
Bradley Cooper comes out of
Closet: Bathroom Slam.
Lonely whiskey sour
forlornly watches couple
wishing it was urine
Tuxedo guy put his
Foot a bit too far into the
Next stall and finds love.
She heard ‘Urals’ date.
Thought of a private jet trip!
Bummed by urinals.
Instead of gold she
Gave him the greatest gift of
All. Prostate massage.
This is a new ad.
For Geico- she’s so easy,
Cavemen can do her
Shelly contemplates
Existential dilemma;
Puke in sink or floor?
Bradley takes picture
while Bob compares peen sizes.
Fred still under sink.
Stall abortion now
over couple poses for
celebration pic.
Sheila acts out thoughts.
“Just shoot me in the mouth, Now!”
Next, on Dates Gone Bad.
Chad gets a pic of
latest bathroom conquest. She
ponders, “What’s his name?”
Still going to high
school proms with bimbos when you’re
35 is weird.
“Is that clam chowder
or your nasty spunk in sink?”
“Shut up and smile bitch!”
You guys are some funny fuccers.
“Is this first picture
of me with clothes on?” thinks Kate.
Douche busy preening.
poor actor works as
Gynochin’s understudy
career’s in toilet
heroin chic chick
shoots up in the wrong bathroom
douche moves in for kill
Escorting Blind Bob
Tina’s community service
Sometimes gets wet socks
Sorry, too early.
Escorting Blind Bob
Jen’s community service
Sometimes gets wet socks.
Sheila contemplates
pulling out her black butt plug.
Its a Tad. Too Big.
One can only hope
Arnold busts in with Uzi
Tru Lies toilet scene.
“You’ll look like a douche,
I guarantee it” is new
T.V. Suit Guy’s ad.
They just got married
and now their relationship
is in the shitter
I admire her
still trying to look sexy
in front of piss-holes
This year’s Guggenheim
“Still Life With Douche, Bleach Blond Bleeth
And Marcel Duchamp.”
I hate to be rude
but your bride is a gross skank
get a good lawyer
I’ll take “Hairstyles That
Died in the Eighties” for two
hundred, Alex, please.
When it’s really love
Take her to the guys pisser
For a fuck and pics
He looks plaintively
Into the midde distance
She sees cum on shoes
.
Incidentally She Sees Cum on Shoes was the working title of STP’s Songs From the Vatican Giftshop.
Bathroom Rondevous
Meat Curtains on Marble Tile
Scrotal Slap Echo
The Smell of Stale Balls
Is it From the Urinals?
Or is it Her Breath?
Nickelback rider
States “formal wear and hooker”
For BJ swirly
Taste on Her Finger
She Wonders if it is From
Her Pink or Her Stink?
Hey baby, I will
Adorn you in pearls and cake
Yes, urinal cakes
Post-it note reminds
To take your Xanax today
No prob we all smoove
Porcelain thrones gleam
not utilized. Both the king
and queen sit to pee.
Fergus meets Dil at
the multiplex cinema
Sees “The Crying Game”
What a stupid cunt.
Good Lord! That is one dumb cunt.
Can that cunt be real?
Does this screwdriver belong to anyone?
The greatest crisis
Of modernity is a
mobius of fail
Vin’s BJ Swirly
For the Win this fine Friday
Vintage Fontana
post fellatio
did toilet seat cover bib
keep stains off Jill’s dress?
Fetus in the sink
Gives Amber pause to reflect.
Chuck updates facebook.
Amber contemplates,
Then wishes her finger was
loaded with buckshot.
Regs brought fuccen MOCK!
Tons of great ones on front page;
kept ‘Sock from meetings…..
Wow!Thank you, DarkSock!
Double-Tap on the front page!
Duchamp reference flopped.
Travertine tiles
Vegas tart and urinals
Turd in tuxedo.
I just uploaded this pic to facebook with the following:
.
Happy Valentines Day from the whole crew at Hot Chicks with Douchebags !!! Jay Louis, proprietor.
.
[I used the large version of the pic, and I shared with both of the fb pages]
Hi, I’m the “douche-bag”.
And this photo was JUST the beginning…
http://www.justinrosslee.com