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Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Somewhere in Echo Park, A Pabst Blue Ribbon Goes Unopened…
Herpsters.
Still out there.
Still upset that Deadmouse performed at the Grammys.
Germanic Inga spanks me upon the bottom with a cherry flavored ruler. Because I have been bad. And because I am Jewish.
Holocaust jokes. Not just for herpsters anymore.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012When Wittgenstein Coughed Up a Furball
It was a cold November day in a classroom on the lower floor of Cambridge University.
1923.
Professor Ludwig Wittgenstein entered from the left.
He hunched over. The early Fall had brought with it an intemperate chill, and Wittgenstein’s arthritis has tasked his joints unceremoniously.
Wittgenstein paused.
Coughed.
Briefly picked up a piece of chalk.
Then put it down again.
Quietly, so soft that only a nearby graduate student could make out what he said, Wittgenstein remarked, “I smell future poo.”
That future is now.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012The Scruffwad
Maybe HCwDB doesn’t have the cultural impact or resonance it once had. But I’m okay with that.
So long as I have a place on the interwebs to mock Scruffwad and his stupidhair while lusting after Jenny Milkshake Purity Suckle Fondle, then all is well in my little universe.
And I’m glad you’re still with me.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012Leo 'Tard
Once, when I was ten, I set off a firecracker and blew up some ants on a leaf. Then I cried.
Now I know that I spared those ants having to live in a world with Leo ‘Tard. And so I feel assuaged.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012One Word Tuesday
Assikus Anonymous Tours New Hampshire
When Mona dropped out of Mass Art to tour New England with the Berklee School of Music’s underground sensation, “Assikus Anonymous,” she had no idea it would lead her so far astray from her artistic dreams, and so close to Denny’s Parking lots instead.
Monday, February 20, 2012Dream Skeever
Inside Dream Skeever is a boy who just wants to be loved.
By two chicks at the same time.
Yup, it’s movie reference Monday.
Monday, February 20, 2012Guy You Know is An Even Bigger Douche Than the Picture Reveals Guy
Not the most succinct or poetic name, but it’s Monday.
Chinscrap sideburns for the collective societal mock.
Oh ambiguously Quartasian Lindsey. How I would softly hum harmonic convergences in a deep barritone and pretend to like Downton Abbey just for the chance to rucksack your lederhosen at the African Education Conference.
Monday, February 20, 2012HCwDB of the Week: Lord Helmet and Vespa Hott
From the Friday haiku, is there any greater societal violation going on right now than Lord Helmet and Mayan Eye of Coitus tempress, Vespa Hott (names courtesy of douche wayne)? I think not.
Heh. Hott and not rhyme. Whod’a thunk it?
I do not think ‘ere shall I see,… a poo as lovely as a pee.
But I digress.
As I’m still recovering from the rancid boil that was Norway Thursday, I’mma spare ya the links/recap. Lets just say last week had a lot of HC and DB in cohabit.
But none worse than this atrocity.
Chalk ’em for the next Monthly, and your humble narrator for instant oatmeal and raisins.
Sunday, February 19, 2012"Douchey Douchey Doo, Where Are You?"
More from the body of work done in the wake of HCwDB peak back in 2009-2010 comes this mildy amusing cartoon. And since I can’t take another douchey rap video, figured it’ll pass the time on this lazy Sunday.
