Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Google Targets the "Epic Bro" Market

Tristan Smith is an Epic Bro.

Comment of the Week: Champagne Katie

While she didn’t gain entrance into our hallowed Hall of Hott, Champagne Katie did win something out here. The Comment of the Week:

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Lol!!!!!!:D! Thanks for the good and bad comments, I love you all!!!:* if you like me or not it doesn’t matter:) at the end all that matters to me is those who care about me… Nancy thank you:) your awesome!!! And I’m sure you all are amazing as well!!!

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Yes. We are all amazing.

Unfortunately, too many ‘bag hunters protested Bleethdom as a disqualifying factor. And while I probably would’ve voted yea for the initial pics alone, ‘twats not to be.

Up next week… Tiny Dancer Maria?

Friday Thoughts and Links

Clown Joseph mugs the barely legals.

And somewhere, in the afterlife, 2-Pac and Biggie reflect on their contributions to hiphop culture and realize the whole thing was a marketing sham and a creative fraud.

But at least it’s Friday, she said, as Carolyn gives me the hallowed Mayan Eye of Coitus and my nethers twitch like caffeinated grasshoppers.

And I agreed.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Book Pick of the Week is also the first OWSer: “I would prefer not to.”

In Orlando, a girl with no hands was barred from rides at Sea World. Her name? Katie Champagne. It’s a sign. Not a hand sign though.

Nice to see my fellow Jews representin’ on political issues. Now if I could only get Mila Kunis to spank me with a Torah.

No matter your political persuasion, democratic and republican ‘bag hunters alike should agree that John Boehner is a huge douchebag.

Reader lilfartknocker69 is shocked to discover ‘Bag Balm at his local Rite Aid. Sorry mass-marketing companies, but nothing soothes the rash of toxic pudlery.

Giorgio Loves Sonic. Giorgio gets a hearty nottadouche and goinpeace.

We all know that the Unholy Grieco is the Source Douche for the modern ‘bag plague. But let us not forget that WKRP’s Bailey Quarters set the template for the modern Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh Librarian Hott. Not Semitic Hott, like my usual preference, but I’ll take it.

The Holy Football Tebus likes to suckle.

But enough about the Holy Tebus. Lets get to the pear:

God Arch Pear

For buried within its curves lies Archimedes formula for moving the world.

Aquabag Mugging Jeannie Represents Explosive Diarrhea In the Face of Society

Apologies for the graphic title, but this pic deserves a graphic title.

Man, my soul hurts. This has been a depressing week in the fight over douchebaggery in presence of hott. Feels like our post Jersey Shore reality is giving way to a resurgence in things like nuclear douchegoggles and hottie headlocks.

Time for a Mr. Pibb over ice for consolation and quiet meditation.

Friday Haiku

Better watch out, Girl…

Urinal Lotta Trouble.

I’d pee in her butt.

Hair from a bottle.

Clothes courtesy of the nearest

Tuxedo Junction.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Blow job now finished

She wonders how big a tip

Dickhead’s gonna pay

— Wedgie

Shelly contemplates

Existential dilemma;

Puke in sink or floor?

— hermit

Chad gets a pic of

latest bathroom conquest. She

ponders, “What’s his name?”

— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche

heroin chic chick

shoots up in the wrong bathroom

douche moves in for kill

— Douche Springsteen

Sheila contemplates

pulling out her black butt plug.

Its a Tad. Too Big.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

I admire her

still trying to look sexy

in front of piss-holes

— Medusa Oblongata

I hate to be rude

but your bride is a gross skank

get a good lawyer

— Medusa Oblongata

I’ll take “Hairstyles That

Died in the Eighties” for two

hundred, Alex, please.

— UFO Destroyers

He looks plaintively

Into the midde distance

She sees cum on shoes

— McCrude

Bathroom Rondevous

Meat Curtains on Marble Tile

Scrotal Slap Echo

— Doucheywallnuts

The Smell of Stale Balls

Is it From the Urinals?

Or is it Her Breath?

— Doucheywallnuts

Hey baby, I will

Adorn you in pearls and cake

Yes, urinal cakes

— Vin Douchal

Porcelain thrones gleam

not utilized. Both the king

and queen sit to pee.

— army (ret) douche

Uberbro Meltdown

Forget adding up the signifiers. The douche counting machine just melted down into a pile of toxic poo.

There is no coming back from witnessing this atrocity.

We are all through the rabbit hole now.

Homie Gregg and Dahlia Roll With the Benjamin

That’s like a hundred dolla bill, y’all!!

You know what that could buy?!?

At least six Chia Pet Handmade Decorative Planter PuppyKits yo!

Shirtlessness. The Choad Warrior Way.

Zed and Alberto may not be douchetatted oysterwanks like we normally see on this site.

But let there be no mistake about it.

Roaming the halls of clubland to pose with confused blonde giggle hots while twitching the upper abs area is auto violation.

I would normally express this more creatively, but I need caffeine. And so I shall imbibe. Be right back. Talk amongst yourselves.

Let It Pee

Biker Mike Asshatsky.

Just ignore the burning, let it pee, let it pee.

Esoteric Wednesday

Arincapart Lionheart likes to dance to pan flutes.