Friday, February 24, 2012
Tony Tentatively Makes the Rocker Horns for Melodie
Hitler Chin Fung and Sleeve Tatts are now so ubiquitous as to be unremarkable.
That is not acceptable.
So I will remark upon them.
They suck.
Melodie is all that is real world giggle-next-door party cohabit in the Realms of the Unreal cleavite inspiration. And so I thank her. And quietly ask for the check.
Somewhere in Tony’s past is a whitewashed baby crib with layer upon layer of toxic lead paint. Today, due to deterioration in fine motor skill, Tony can barely make the rocker horns. It’s a heartbreaking condition. That’s why I ask you to give generously to the MPRA: the McCrude Prosthetic Rocker Horn Association. Your generous gift of $1000 dollars or more, or your generous donation of the sexual services of a barely legal quartasian, can help provide Tony with a lifelike hand that, through the use of space age titanium joints and lifelike silicone skin covering, can make Rocker Horns, the Shocker, and even the Spocker a reality for Douchebags like Tony.
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McCrude Prosthetic Rocker Horn Hands are available in white, orange, and even darker orange.
Dude Mcrudeshoes^FTW!!
His arm is very patriotic,
and her cleavite is hypnotic,
Tony order me a Gin & Tonic,
while your chick holds your other arm,
so you don’t do anything idiotic.
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ASvB
Girl next door Melodie knows that the only thing between her and soul crushing mediocrity is artificial cleavite. Compliment her looks, and she’ll put out like nymphomaniacal banshee.
Tony is a joiner, albeit, a bit behind the times.
I understand he is going to buy a Blackberry next week.
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ASvB
I bet that Ching Fung smells like ass.
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ASvB
She’s gonna look back at that picture and…..
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cry.
First and last date.
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She wore her best dress, and he wore his best Iron-On T.
Payton Manning’s neck still hurts. Alot
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That’s enough for today kiddies….
My best to you all,
CHEERS.
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ASvB
I think I can safely state, without fear of contradiction, that Tony has never held a musical instrument in his life (the recorder in 4th grade music class aside).
Tony holds the Guinness record for most consecutive hours (14 1/2) wacking off to Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher video.
Flavor savers and five-heads seem to be signifier du jour lately.
The sad fact is that in Suburban Newark, you have chug a lot of cocc in order to be accepted by the in-crowd. It’s just what’s expected.
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And that’s just Tony. Don’t get me started on Melodie.
Stupid looking is as stupid looking does.
The split tail could be a B grade porn actress, if she was a little hotter.
She-Douche.
Hubby # 1 bought her the “bolt-ons”.
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Prospective Hubby # 2 Tony is gonna realize (too late) that he’s gonna be rolled flat by Melodie’s bad side…
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Yet, the deserve each other in their own circle of hell…
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Dude McCrudeshoes FTW @10:47AM
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“Compliment her looks, and she’ll put out like nymphomaniacal banshee”.
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Well said sir, well said!!!. Fugly girls need lovin too and when they gets some they go all out, all out I says. I’d like to believe her cleavite is real but at this point it don’t really matter. Nice cans!!!
Tony is ordering 2 glasses of milk. He can’t understand the sudden craving.
If I was not blessed with a size 18-1/2 neck I would still not put ink to my body. Mrs. Kroeger amd I were doing the bi-weekly shopping while the girls were swimming last Saturday and there was this skinny, poor, stupid inbred dude form the bad part of town with the great pizza and crackheads with blowies chicks and this dude has an inked neck the ridiculousness of which I had not seen. He was searching for pennies to pay for his order of salty pre-formed food and I thought to myself, this guy can’t spare money for tats. But sure enough he likely had hundreds of dollars on his unemployable neck which should have allowed him to buy some produce for his two soon to be crackhead hooker toddlers.
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Tattoos are now the tag of exclusivity for future oxy addicts collecting disablity insurance by 35 cause they can’t get a fucking job. To salute the clean gentlemen and ladies of society I am dedicating the rest of my afternoon to an oldish bottle of good port, a jumbo doobie, and Nelloy Furtado videos until the little swimmers get off the bus. And by little swimmers, I mean I should have pulled out I says.
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Son
Regs and newcomers bringing their A-game on this lovely Friday afternoon ! I got nothin better to add other than melodie brings a milfy appeal that we haven’t seen in a while.
@McCrudeshoes 10:31a, doing God’s work again, I see. You didn’t specify on the sex of the barely legal asian so I’m sending you Nigel Nguyen. He’s 18 and 3 days and can do all that stuff you like. Enjoy, and here’s to Tony growing a pair so he can make a solid rocker horns. Jimminy Jahosafats, don’t do the hand gesture if you’re not gonna go all in.
Why do I have Mr. Costello’s “I Hope You’re Happy Now” in my head every time I look at these two?
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Somewhere, there’s a man living in a shoebox apartment in Glendale, AZ, making an monthly payment on those plastifunbags…
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@Rev, I can always count on you to validate my decision to remain single and childless. Well that and my crippling social anxiety.
That is real world hottness right there.
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Dem boobies may not be real, but my boner most certainly is. And one should never argue with the insight on one’s flesh peg. Never.
^Truer words were never spoken. If I ever get rich enough, my legacy is going to be a free bolt-on clinic for girls working their way through cosmetology school by stripping. Nothing is worse than a flat stripper.
Except a flat Canadian stripper.
While the fake boobs are nicely done, I am amazed that while she’s at it should couldn’t at least have gotten a better color job and cut on her hair, and in ascending order of expense, fix the nose and the teeth. But for now, the boobies will take on an inordinate amount of my attention. Inordinate, I says.
Gawd, how embarassing when your sleeve tatt matches another dude’s Hawaiian shirt. Tony could just die. Bro’s are supposed to call each other before hand about this stuff!
Chick that used to be a bottle blond and now a bottle brunette + too much make up + too much tanning = not hot
Shes hott.
Two local bar and grill 40 somethings people who are trying desperately to look younger than they are. We’ve all been there,but we don’t tatt ourselves up and flip devil horns because we’re not as stupid.
Boobies.