Friday, March 2, 2012
Friday Haiku
Michael Bay – King Douche
Pitches concept to Tyson:
“Mike’s Wong Wife Choithes”
Her hair’s gone afro
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Interracial date
In bizarre love triangle;
John Largeman is watching.
— Douche Springsteen
Number one salesman
At Vegas Bling convention
Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”
— Vin Douchal
Mike Tyson’s next bout
Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet
He’ll be champ again
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Baybag blows shit up
Tyson bag blows career up
Douchery never ends
— Capt. James T. Douche
“To Wong Fu, With Love
Needed way more explosions!”
Cocaine-ramble-mouth.
— Douche Wayne
Mike was wife-beater,
can we hope he becomes a
douche beater as well?
— Morbo
Mike decides to stick
with ears and not douches due
to high AXE content.
Her hair’s gone afro
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
interracial date
in bizarre love triangle
john largeman is watching
After the Borg got
To Tyson’s face he hangs with
Afros and full Khans.
Mike’s pecs too saggy,
to allow shirt removal,
“Unconscionable”.
Fright wig Asian is
About to get ear fucked while Mike
Get’s it in the rear.
It’s embarassing
Miss Oshima’s so fine but
Needs to shave her pits
michael bay whispers
to sultry asian hottie
“try the donkey punch”
Vegas NCIS
Tyson goes undercover to
Find gays in Navy.
Exhibit “A” at
Tyson’s assault trial: “Mr.
Bay needed a smack.”
In the background, Clint
Black ponders universe. God,
Why am I so short?
The bar crowd hushes
In anticipation of three
Way homo smackdown.
SummerSlam grudge match,
Iron Mike Tyson versus:
Hateful Horse-Faced Cunt.
Eckscooz me thir. Can
I chew yo nippas nippas?
Nippas I thays. Hatters.
Drunken dare: punch in
the face from Iron Mike or
suck face with “Ms.” Tran.
Chesty Douche says “You
Chinese. Me play joke. Mike put
Pee-pee in your butt.”
That fucking club kid
Is a little long in the
Tooth for boas.
“And from the front, with her pants
off, she looked like Louis Armstrong from
the back.” That is funny shit.
Mirage at new low
Siegfried and Roy are long gone
Cirque de Strange Mo’Fo’s
Buffet at Enchantment Under The Sea dance
includes ham’n’pineapple pizza
Thurston, I say Thurston Howell Thurd
Bad entertainment
Professional Bull Riders
Cowboys are confused
Fey magician team
Makes Iron Mike dissapear
Two drink minimum
Hangover Fourteen
Todd Phillips one more payday
Straight to DVD
Number one salesman
At Vegas Bling convention
Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”
Medal around neck
Has been in strange monkey holes
Smells like L.A. dump
Even with shirt on,
Tyson wins big boob contest.
But still, the three fail.
Success of melting pot inconclusive
Better throw in a ham bone
Coconut cream pie for desert
Let’s see if the professor
Can use the transistor radio
To fix this shit, little buddy
Christmas in March nativity play
Features kitchen sink drama stars
Who enlivened the disco afterwards
Mike Tyson’s next bout
Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet
He’ll be champ again
Mike Tyson is a
True gentleman and scholar
Now please don’t kill me.
Defeated resignation is the true contender
W/- nostalgia and suppressed a close second
Ding!
Fuck! Shoulda been ‘suppressed bitterness’
Marky Mark just called
wants back his tighty-whities
but keep the hooker
David and Goliath
And dude on left with ostrich boa
Marquess of Queensberry
Launch for new Marvel/DC title
Cartoon Arms now Cartoon Gut
Better lay off the ham
Drop and give me 20!
Two Mikes, One Asian
One double penetration
Away from KO
Baybag blows shit up
Tyson bag blows career up
Douchery never ends
It is ludicrous
Just how soft I have become
Now we fornicate
Baybag pitches film
Tyson in transformers 4
Rise of douchetron
C list celebs meet
through mutual jerking off
between Asian taint
Boobie sucker thigh
Flamed by hideous sight of
the Baybag-Tyson tag team
I got to the last
level in Mike Tyson’s “Punch
Out” by eating ham.
Out of shape Tyson,
Out of blow Baybag stops for
Snapshot with ladyboy
Former champ KOs
buffet at playboy drag party,
Bays next film project.
The only thing iron
about Mike Tyson these days
is his bulging gut
Hollywood tries to
flush turds that keep coming back
Asian tranny wins
Michael Bay churns out
action queefs of the foulest
Tyson digests ham
Lost Asian tranny
rubs Tysons Buddha belly
finds glory hole path
Spinks … Holyfield’s ear …
Iron Mike needs to add Bay to
list of greatest hits
“To Wong Fu, With Love
Needed way more explosions!”
Cocaine-ramble-mouth.
Mike was wife-beater,
can we hope he becomes a
douche beater as well?
Worst. Director. Ever.
Hack.
Michael Bay says, “NO!
My brother didn’t star on
fuccen Quantum Leap!”
Stupid fuccen work;
coulda had fun with this since
‘Sock was late again.
Sock, some disrespect
Rev’s entries, week after week
Are all the same lines.
How many times can
The phrase “gyroscope in her
monkey hole” be used?
@Wedgie:
.
‘Sock repeats front page
stuff ‘cuz of the gyroscope
in his horsey hole.
.
Well, that’s what I heard
at the Hatter Convention.
Didn’t you attend?
Thanks, Wheezer.
I will put “monkey hole” and “gyroscope” in all future haikus.
Yours Truly,
Wedgie (Gyroscope Monkey Hole) in San Diego
The chest bling is here.
The fur is way atrocious.
“We’re here and we’re queer.”
I’d like to watch Mike beat the feather boaed faggot to death with his fists.