Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

HCwDB After Dark: His Name is Mok

Thanks a lot.

The Velveteen Babbit

… and little Johnny cried and cried… for his lip herp meant the villagers had to stone and set fire to the Velveteen Babbit, so she would not spread her rampant disease across the town… but the next morning, a *real* Velveteen Babbit appeared on little Johnny’s doorstep! And the moral of the story is love for stuffed animals prepares you for medical plagues…

Velveteen.

Homegrown Hannah Approves of the HCwDB of the Week

And by approves, Homegrown Hannah means moving on to Tool Johnson: Legend of Asswipus Britannica.

Yor does not approve.

HCwDB of the Week: The Bishop and Homegrown Hannah

Just barely edging Oldbag Ralph and Dreamgirl Donna, The Bishop’s stupidhead and Homegrown Hannah’s homegrowns nanas were too tough a dialectic to ignore.

For what are we here if wherefore not to mock the choadal head and lust the perkage bobble?

Other ‘bags of note, the BvG named Marmoset and Sluthott Kelly from the Friday Haiku, Keyser Shmoeze’s Ladies of Perfect Leg, Moaz’s Stupid Hair and Stacey, Clown Hardy Gets Lucky, and Jesus Bling Boy.

Not a bad week, or should I say a ‘bag week. Get it? Because ‘bag sounds like ba-… okay nevermind.

I hereby decry that this week is ESOTERIC REFERENCE WEEK.

Every post will have an esoteric reference to something random. Wait, that was redundant.

Monchichi.

You Can't Keep a Douchebag D.J. Away From Sucking on YouTube

And the inexorable death knell for creativity within the human species continues.

Comment of the Week: Olddog1

Olddog1 starts off on a boobie rant, and ends up wistfully pondering Sarah Michelle Geller’s career, in the Moaz Has High Hair thread and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:

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She looks like Paris Hilton, with boobs. Or at least slightly larger boobs. Maybe Paris’s younger, better looking sister. She does not look like Buffy. SMG was never that cute. BTW, I am and always will be a big Buffy fan, but face it, SMG was only picked because she was little and she had worked on soap operas. Fox thought she might have a following and they thought they were getting a teen soap. Boy were they wrong.

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Friday Thoughts and Links

Prada bags. For men. Just don’t call them a “murse.”

I’ve been in kinda a mood lately. Not sure why. The world is stupid, we know this. But sometimes I’m more hopeful. And other times I see Grieco Virus in even the darkest corners of our haunting collective unconscious.

Then again, the 2000s were stupid. And the 1990s were stupid, too. Perhaps more so. We stood around with too much time on our hands and too much money and thought things like Presidential Peepee and Brittney Spears were interesting.

So there’s that.

But on our collective death beds, we will all achieve total consciousness. So we got that going for us.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “I admire you as a policeman. Particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job.”

Ubiquitous Red Cup: For the Aristocracy

And Now, in “Elegunce” model.

Dubstep. Everyone’s talking about it. No one really knows what it is. And in six months, no one will care. So enjoy Dubstep Cat.

You know what never gets old? The fart from Zapped.

The Ab-Hancer. For the laziest of the lazybags.

Okay, you’ve been good. Here you go:

Spherical Denim Pear

Or, as the mathematicians measure it, 3.1415gnawchompbitesuckle

Places to Store Your Cigarettes #42

Well, I suppose it’s better than the pooper.

Yup. That’s as creative as it gets on a Friday.

I shouldn’ta eaten all those Twinkies yesterday.

Friday Haiku

Behold Rocker Todd:

Knows how to make barre chords, but

Can’t put on a shirt

Glenn Danzig Old Bag

Instead of singing “Mother”

Brings her to next gig.

— Douche Wayne

Leather, mesh, hair, dirt

Reminiscent of one thing

My bathtub’s drain hole

— Justin

Hercules, Xena

Have seen better days than this

Now battle the herp

— Dude McCrudeshoes

It places the shirt

In the basket or it gets

The hose. Her skin hose.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.

Best animal names taken.

Meet Marmoset.

— Baron Von Goolo

Yeah, I’d tap that hott.

I’d flop like a fish in nets.

Freeing butterfly!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

twenty-six reds and

a bottle of wine should take

care of Rocker Todd

— Douche Springsteen

Clown Hardy Can't Wait to Post About His Amazing Night on Reddit

The lost Kardashian Sister, Shaniqua Kardashian, offers rarest of sexy belly button pokey lotus flower, while Sandra Dee giggles melifluously and keeps her legs properly posed to prevent Holy Turquoise Triangle reveal.

And if I ain’t making sense, blame Twinkie #9.