Friday Haiku
Nathan Explosion
Cartoon dude with Cartoon bleethes…
Metalocalypse!
It’s not the size of
the wand, but the magic in
it. He shoots blanks, too.
— Wheezer
From the Depths of Hell
Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature
Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool
— Bag em, Tag em
By the power of
Greyskull, I command you to
*****-**** all night.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Hey, wanna party
on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,
has only five rows
— Wheezer
chest bombs can’t be stopped
only hope to contain them
Hello Kitty poke
— SonnyChibaChoad
Gene Simmons Jr.
Wears guyliner because he
Doesn’t have dad’s tongue
— The Dude
Darth Commodicus
Senses disturbance, those aren’t
Boobs, they’re space stations
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Balloon Squeak Popouts
Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!
‘Cept, the center douche.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I caught the VD
From looking at this picture
My wife says, “Yea Sure!”**
— Doucheywallnuts
Chongo Bonobo
Has fallen from ugly tree
And hit every branch
Dispeptic TattBag
Bored with the the club scene acts cool
Mom still makes his bed
— Vin Douchal
Blaine/Angel poser.
Abra-abra-ca-dabra!
Lesions, now appear!!!
— Baron Von Goolo
**“Yea Sure”, she says
Boobs, bewbs, horns, boobs, boobs
Pics point of reference seems
to be boobs. Yum, boobs!
Type ScrOte Negative
messes with Christian Women;
“Let us prey,” he says.
Wheeze off work today;
happy to haiku again,
this time, I’m on time.
The lead singer of
Coccken lets groupies think they
have a chance. Too bad.
Skull mesmerized by
shiny bling; must be what lured
boobie chicks to him.
Yeah! Wheezer is here.
I’m not alone with my weak
attempts. Ramp it up.
Hello Kitty peeks
over belt loop; wonders where
bleeth mom brought her now.
Cindy Crawford’s niece
Has a big rack and bad tude
I’d hit it ten times.
From the Depths of Hell
Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature
Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool
Twin horns m/, twin ‘splosions,
two boobie hotts; too bad he
has only one nut.
Gina Gershon’s girl
has some explaining to do
to be with this scrote.
Their boobs blew up big
Since the gyroscope was put
In his Monkey Hole.
Shirts that are too small?
Or bosoms that are too big?
Who cares? I’m erect
Fire from orbit
is coming to save us all.
Wait, leave bleeths alone!
Earlier that night
Chriss Angel put a spell on
Sluts. Fuck the grease now!
flames spout from broads heads
percolate from their big breasts
or dude is devil
Two hot slam pieces
Thank God Mom and Dad are rich
Give them STD’s
By the power of
Greyskull, I command you to
Titty fuck all night.
Skull tatt matches belt
buckle; why am I looking
there? Must be dry heaves.
Titty fuck titty
Titty fuck titty fuck tit
Titty fuck titty.
Wes Bentley still tries
to milk ‘Blackheart’ role, but gained
a few pounds since then.
I can ignore douche
Lost in Clevage Wonderland
And “eyes” of Coitus
‘I can train nipples
to do unnatural acts
using two fingers’
Dude has no cock. Look.
Pants on the ground. Coven with
Devil. Cock for the sleeve.
Man I’d hammer them.
Two stoned tramps ready to go.
Pizza and weed pays bill.
‘e-moo’: the wearing
of black guyliner, clothing
for plus-sized fellas.
Joaquin Phoenix douche
Spreads aura with rocker horns
My boner withers
On Good Friday Pray
DB1 to save our souls
From Satanic Douche
The Wisconsin
Cheese festival changed for the
Worse with human cream.
Cleavage weeks still lives
I see five boobs in the pic
One got lost somewhere
Good Friday? Yeah, and
this is what rose from the dead?
I’d cross the hotts’ buns.
Only fish today. Girls
May qualify as tuna. Dude hopes
To get a good whiff.
I’d love a foursome
With me and the Reverend Chad
Banging these two bleeths
For Unholy Week,
Skeeter’s nu-metal band plays
tracks from ‘Crypture’ disc.
Photographer for
Big ‘n Natural gets
Boobies of the month.
I’d serve these two bleeths
An ejaculate milkshake
Right between their tits
Douche douses the fire
Of lesbian hott make-out
Vag blocker douchebag
“Hey, wanna party
on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,
has only 5 rows.
If flames were over
his head, resultant grease fire
would cover five states.
Skull tatt has Spidey
costume extensions; Peter
Parker, not Pete Steele?
Dairy domes abound
Flames of Pentecost hover
d’bag needs Trashcan
chest bombs can’t be stopped
only hope to contain them
Hello Kitty poke
Topeka, Kansas
underground: disgruntled farm
boy, wheat-fed titties.
.
He’d like to milk them,
but they said ‘No.’ Look out on
farm tonight, Bessie.
And vapidity
Wears a face like Chris Angel
Comes with booblasm
Those boobs make my day
But I have to ask, Why, oh
why is he there too?
Gene Simmons Jr.
Wears guyliner because he
Doesn’t have dad’s tongue
Hey, I know this douche
He botched my mocha latte!
Hipster barista
Gene Jr.’s tattoo
Looks like the dead Kenny
From an old ‘South Park’
Des Moines Dave wants to
play ‘Ice Cream Man’; hotts laugh at
his ‘Little Dreamer.’
Burning halo bleeths
Take pic on way to drug store
Need more vagisil
Darth Commodicus
Senses disturbance, those aren’t
Boobs, they’re space stations
Balloon Squeak Popouts
Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!
‘Cept, the center douche.
Jim Marshall dies; choad
wouldn’t know who he was; I
like the ladies’ stacks.
Giant breasticles
Flame forth from fried forked fingers
Foretelling false fun
Pink Teri Hatcher
Stars in Desperate Douchebags.
Give us a murder!
cosmic poo douche’s
gyroscopic monkeyhole
sucks cocck with teen beat.
Douche and bleeths protest
Greek posterity buttget
With fireworks from arse
wannabes all doomed
Comparing Valtrex dosage
Ronnie Dio spins
I caught the VD
From looking at this picture
My wife says, “Yea Sure!”
Three Disasters here
Avalanche of mammaries
Huge Splooge Flood is nigh
Morose janitor
Occupation and tattoo
A blatant failure
Chongo Bonobo
Has fallen from ugly tree
And hit every branch
This douche’s every
Bad choice exacerbated
By being ugly
Bleeth balloons,
Guyliner gaybag looney tunes,
Kill me now…
I would love to grab
A fistful of vagina
And punch the douche face
Dispeptic TattBag
Bored with the the club scene acts cool
Mom still makes his bed
Slayer tribute band
Uses fame to pose with Bleeths
Quotes Nigel Tufnel
Ronnie James Dio
spins in grave as maloika
is used to get hotts.
“D Minor” Nate says
“It’s the saddest of all keys
How ’bout a blow job?”
“I wanna rock!” says
Barry from Accounting. Hotts
know he means on coccks.
Nate in Tufnel mode
How much more black could this be?
Answer, none. None more black
Lick My Love Pump’s world
tour goes up in flames as God
smotes them from above.
Using “maloika” in haiku, FTW. FTW, I says.
Carl must be forced to
eat Shit Sandwiches all day
to ignore these hotts.
Hotts wait for Tim to
become green globules on
drum stool during show.
You really can’t dust
for vomit but it sure can
stack and get the hotts.
Someone once said “There’s
a fine line between genius
and stupidity.’
.
We know that’s the case
by viewing this pic. Genius
was never in building.
Horns “prove” he’ll score with
these chicks; if you don’t believe
that, then “FUCK YOU, MAN!”
Mayan Eye of Hard
Guy speaks of inner child of
insecurity.
Hotts giggle as he
claims “It goes to eleven!”
millimeters count?
He’s no magician
’twas Bleeths who made dignity,
wallet disappear
It’s not the size of
the wand, but the magic in
it. He shoots blanks, too.
80+ haikus?
Looks like I picked the wrong day
To Stay Home From Work…
Blaine/Angel poser.
Abra-abra-ca-dabra!
Lesions, now appear!!!
Standing before world’s
largest jack-o-lantern: two
treats and lump of poo.
Wow! Two each for Vin
and me – ‘Sock is feeling quite
generous today.
@ Wheezer
.
Yes, it’s like the old
Gordie Howe Haiku front page
Mom issues, gas, apes
Fucc this stupid guy,
He is a god damned douchebag.
No, really….fucc him.
I was gonna put one up here, but Nostradouchus just made me laugh out loud and I’m chucking as I type.
Salty ropes would fly,
On the hott chick on the left,
After I punch him