Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Nerdy Melvin Gets Lucky
Here’s the thing Melvin, and can I call you Melvin?
Assuming you don’t bat for the home team, there’s really only one rule when you’re lucky enough to get Porny Lacey Boobie Suckle Thigh Maria to “Woo!” with you at the requisite pool party.
Rule #1: No Cell-Phone-Speedo.
I might’ve even let the stupid glasses go.
But no.
You are douche.
Boobs.
Ouch!!!
Get back in the Cabin, Cabin Boy!
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I want to smell her buttocks.
How can we live in a world where a flaming H-mo and his hags can’t party by the pool with tiny peen and cell phone on display? Will someone please save these women from being told to “Work it, gurls.”
The above comment was sent from that guy’s iSpeedo.
It’s always embarrassing when Mom and Aunt Sandy want to take the Christmas card photo poolside.
Pink should get that thing on her leg checked.
When Cammie and Tammie butt bounce each other there’s that distinct sound of slime being pulled from the tube (oh glorious childhood sound memories)
He’s got flaming jock itch splashing out his Speedo.
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Melvin invented Accidental Cocck Dialing
He picked up the ladies by claiming, “I am McLuckin.”
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Of course, they’re just playing along and seeing if he can actually get a boner. ‘Taint happenin’.
Air Thteward’s need thome time to have phun too you big, big ,homo’th. No racist.
Dear God, I love fat chicks!
I am in love with the middle one.
.
.And by “in love” I mean I’d like to be hunching and ejaculating on her left butt cheek like the guy on the right.
.
.
.Onanists
The middle one has a little FUPA growing on her.
It’s sheer genius that it acts like a cock block for good ol’ Melvin’s little peen.
That guy’s Speedo just called to say it was killing itself.
That girl’s shin mole just called to say it disgusts itself.
The middle girl’s bathing suit cover-up just called to say it used to cover the infield at Yankee Stadium.
Tiger Woods just called to say he wouldn’t bang either broad even if they worked as waitresses in an Ozark Pancake House.
The girls from Right to Left:
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FAR RIGHT GIRL: Meh
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MIDDLE GIRL: I would marry you!!
(My wife would be a tad upset about that, so we would have to keep it our little secret.)
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FAR LEFT GIRL: Hair is too short, and boobs are too small.
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ASvB
Another way to spell cocck= “CCOKC”
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Thanks Doucheywallnuts for pointing out the Shin Mole. Nothing kills a good Woody like the ever wonderful, Shin Mole.
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ASvB
They all have one thing in common, they love the cock.
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ASvB
They just got through eating at the local eatery.
He had Trouser Trout, smothered in underwear, with cream gravy.
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ASvB
The only way he’s getting into their panties, is if they let him wear them.
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ASvB
I bet he has a 2″ monster just waiting to tear some balloon knot to pieces.
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ASvB
Another round of crantinis and he’ll be getting double pegged by these two back up in the hotel room.
Girl in the white would make a great pear photo. Fact.
Caption: The background singers for punk rockers, “Semen Monicle”, take a break from giving back stage blowies to work on their tans
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because he’s making a new photo series – “Instagrams of my TAINT”
The Penguins must have watched Texas take apart the Red Sox last night. 10-3 ? Wow
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because the auto-timer squirts “Tough Acting Tenactin ” every five minutes on his wee ball sack
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because it’s usual spot up his ass is occupied with a Hot Dog on a Stick
Melvin looks challenged by everything.
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because his CCOKC needs to call his brain and say “WAKE UP! BOOBIES!!!”
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because his nadsack needs to IM her Boobies and let them know he’s not gay this afternoon.
Melvin has his iPhone in his speedo because every message he gets gives him a thrill because it’s set to vibrate like a clit ring.
Melvin’s peen is so tiny, it’s like an acorn stuck to the bottom of his torso.
Anyone care to start a pool on where these knuckleheads are from? Typical midwesterners trying to come west living out their Kim K fantasies with lily white skin. You see them later that night at TGI Fridays, red as lobsters.
My guess is that these choads are from Chicago . . .
I have them from Lincoln, Nebrah!ska. Take that, Abe.
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Four whores and twenty grand ago…
Shinmole…..good band name.
I have scoliosis & I can stand up straighter than this choad.
sexy girl pic http://hooplalive.com/video/49657/New-Funny-Videos-Pranks-2016—Try-Not-To-Laugh—Funny-videos—Funny-Fails-of-August-%5BP.2%5D